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Sunday, May 10, 2015

WHEN MOTHER's DAY IS NOT HAPPY


Mother’s Day can be a miserable day.


Countless women and children mourn for a mother-child relationship that is not as it should be.

The Hallmark cards and commercials depict Mother’s Day as all smiles.

 But for many people, the celebration taps into pain and sorrow.

For mothers who lost children before childbirth, during, or after, the Day can be hollow and mocking. 

To those mothers if they have a world-view that includes an afterlife, 

the thought of an eventual reunion can bring some comfort.

Mother’s Day can be an opportunity to not only celebrate but to remember and comfort others. 

The day need not be happy to be important.

 To adults grieving the death of a mother, whether a few months ago or many years,

 ask them what was special about their mothers.

“What do you remember most? What lessons did she teach that remain in you?”

 To a mother whose child is across the globe fighting in a war: 

Pray for peace. Let her talk about her fears. Don’t try to take away her fear, just listen.

 An estimated 56 percent of all abusers -- physical, mental and sexual -- are women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The most common form is psychological. 

Neglect and emotional abuse are every bit as damaging as sexual abuse.

 Numerous studies have shown that maternal behaviors

 like constant criticism, withholding affection or humiliation can take a toll on children,

 adversely affecting their academic achievement, social growth and self-worth.

 Learning to move forward from a painful past is difficult, though not impossible.

And psychiatrists still don't understand why one sibling fares well psychologically and the other can be destroyed.

So if you had or have a loving relationship with your mother, treasure the blessing that so many others did not or do not have.

5 comments:

  1. Some powerful truths. Thank you.
    And, if you have a mother (or a father) that you cherish tell them so often. Don't wait for a day that has been tagged for the purpose.

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  2. I have numerous friends whose children have died before them. One friend lost both children. On Mothers Day I do remember their loss.

    What EC said, I agree.

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  3. Sorry, Everyone:
    I worked all through the night and most of the day today, so I haven't replied or visited. My eyes are bleary, my body exhausted, and I am still on 1st call!

    Elephant's Child:
    Yes, appreciate each day the special people in it! :-)

    Teresa:
    Yes, death can make most holidays a mockery, can't it? :-(

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  4. Late commenting here, Roland, but wanted to say I had a perfect mother IMO, She was always there for me, she encouraged me, and I loved her dearly. She passed in 2004, and I still miss her greatly.

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  5. D.G.:
    I am so happy that you had your mother for as long as you did. I have often written of my loving relationship with my mother ... so I wanted to write to those whose bruised hearts are hurt by this holiday. Good to have you as a friend. :-)

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