tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post2464345486869239522..comments2024-03-29T03:28:22.296-05:00Comments on Writing In The Crosshairs: MURDER SCENE BLOGFEST ENTRYRoland D. Yeomanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-6783722279230894922010-04-12T22:01:26.134-05:002010-04-12T22:01:26.134-05:00Well done as I only had a chance to read part of i...Well done as I only had a chance to read part of it--I'll have to return to finish.Slamdunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13087161268629251860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-45222765969205081202010-04-12T15:50:41.116-05:002010-04-12T15:50:41.116-05:00Roland, your description is FANTASTIC. I could see...Roland, your description is FANTASTIC. I could see everything playing out, feel the palpable tension and fear and intent. This was absolutely wonderful and kept my interest to the end. Well done!!Julie Daohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814052162359300933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-33835920839814008762010-04-12T14:45:49.401-05:002010-04-12T14:45:49.401-05:00Great description and emotion! Love the paranormal...Great description and emotion! Love the paranormal element!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-46106610208434042252010-04-11T22:21:28.512-05:002010-04-11T22:21:28.512-05:00Roland thanks for stopping by my place. Looks like...Roland thanks for stopping by my place. Looks like you off to a good start at your dreams becoming true. Great work you have here.Wandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07438544740170524813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-9115013128293546642010-04-11T15:49:35.393-05:002010-04-11T15:49:35.393-05:00I love a juicy corpse. And yes; what kills the un...I love a juicy corpse. And yes; what kills the undead. I'd love to see how you answer that.<br /><br />I enjoyed all the historical references, you wove that into the dialogue and narrative very well. I got a vivid look at the setting, and the characters. <br /><br />The descriptions are a bit long, even for fantasy. The walk through the ship is loaded with tidbits that are interesting, but there is so much snarkiness it slows the pace a bit. But it does make each character's voice clear.<br /><br />This sounds right up my alley for a good read. Undead characters, mystical weapons, immortals. Man, I hope this was as exciting to write as it is to read. And Quiggley Down Under is one of my all time favorite movies. I can definitely see your Samuel in that character.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing this excerpt; and for stopping by my blog. I can tell I'll be spending a lot of time here.<br /><br />........dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-85521855380819174762010-04-11T09:48:13.498-05:002010-04-11T09:48:13.498-05:00Hi, Roland
Thanks for visiting my blog and your c...Hi, Roland <br />Thanks for visiting my blog and your comments. I hopped over here for a look at yours and found it to be quite innovative! Excellent writing and fluid imagination! I'll be back.<br />RubyGrammyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07080499751409620799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-537019202521340992010-04-11T09:04:12.459-05:002010-04-11T09:04:12.459-05:00I enjoy your writing. So melodic, just draws me ri...I enjoy your writing. So melodic, just draws me right in. And the scene was wonderful.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-7264197930860781112010-04-11T02:24:58.775-05:002010-04-11T02:24:58.775-05:00The setting was so rich and imaginative, and I lov...The setting was so rich and imaginative, and I loved everyone's distinctive voice. I really felt each character's emotions. Great work! (btw I like Quiqley too. It's is a fun movie!)Lorel Claytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06749366331989131894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-90856515435336169432010-04-10T23:59:01.001-05:002010-04-10T23:59:01.001-05:00Love how your expression is so tightly dramatic! E...Love how your expression is so tightly dramatic! Every word counts! There is a sense of breathless tension all through this! Gripping!Gemma Wisemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17466540188839321484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-32618659294673461642010-04-10T22:18:06.126-05:002010-04-10T22:18:06.126-05:00Thanks to everyone who commented. It means a lot t...Thanks to everyone who commented. It means a lot to me. Those 4 agents looking at my full manuscript are keeping me on tenderhooks.<br /><br />EJ, there are a lot of places for a killer to hide aboard the DEMETER, especially since there are more than one.<br /><br />Creepquerygirl : thanks for dropping by and the compliment. Can you believe once I got a query letter returned with just a dirty footprint on it. Now that was a statement.<br /><br />Anya, thanks for the kind words and may your dreams be yours soon.<br /><br />Anne, McCord would like you as well since he loves the wide plains and the high, lonely mountains. Your praise means a lot.<br /><br />Jemi, I hate to hear about your laptop. It is like being cast adrift, isn't it?<br /><br />Nicole, I am happy that my dialogue brings my characters to life. Your words boosts my hope that an agent will feel the same.<br /><br />Sarahjayne, I worked hard on the dialogue to make each character sound his/her own person. That you think I succeeded makes my day.<br /><br />L.T., revenant is from the French, revenir {to return - as from the dead.} And Quigley is pretty awesome isn't he?<br /><br />Courtney Barr, I am praying that one agent will offer me representation for FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE so that I may offer RITES OF PASSAGE to her or him.<br /><br />Harley, your comment is deeply appreciated. Quigley is one of my favorite movies, too.<br /><br />Heather, I'm glad my dialogue increased your reading pleasure of my scene. And may the paranormal never surprise you in real life!<br /><br />Myne, I'm pleased you like that final twist.<br /><br />No, Anne, thank you for offering such a marvelous blogfest.<br /><br />Embee, I hope my comments on your murder scene added a smile to your day.<br /><br />Courtney Reese, I'm glad that I whetted your interest to see what happens to Sam and company next. Hopefully, both my novels with McCord will be sold. First, to get that elusive offer of representation.<br /><br />Jai Joshi, thanks for taking time out to comment. Yes, I thought a historical fantasy might add a bit of fresh air to the torrent of urban fantasies. But Sam and his friends from the DEMETER are in my post-Katrina Urban Fantasy, FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE.<br /><br />Layinda, I worked hard to get the interaction of the characters believable with interlocking dialogue. Your comments were deeply appreciated.<br /><br />Raquel, I thought to mix the supernatural with the Old West was something I wanted to see myself, so maybe other readers would too. Glad it worked for you.<br /><br />Simon, Inari might find you appetizing ... in all sorts of ways. It really meant a lot to have you like my mix of the Old West with the paranormal. And what can kill the dead? It resolves on the mystery of what re-animates them.<br /><br />VR, you know how hard it is these days to surprise jaded readers. Your comments made me hope that an agent might feel as you do. Thanks for keeping my hope alive.<br /><br />Myrna, isn't it a grand thought : an immortal Quigley. And you're dead-n {pun meant} the killer returned after Strasser left, leaving a taunt for McCord who he knows and hates.<br /><br />Amalia, yeah Quigley is popular. Thanks for the compliment on my voice. May your books always sell.<br /><br />Elaine, McCord has come to doubt his humanity, though the ring of King Solomon continues it still survives. Thanks for thinking enough of my scene to write me.<br /><br />All of you have helped to make my day. Thanks, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-31720509387854580142010-04-10T21:30:50.523-05:002010-04-10T21:30:50.523-05:00I like the array of characters and the attention t...I like the array of characters and the attention to detail. The menage a trois line added a nice splash of humor to lighten the mounting tension. Interesting setting too, how many places are there for a killer to hide on a boat?EJ Fechendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05300369395930503020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-53861775415453904442010-04-10T20:38:25.060-05:002010-04-10T20:38:25.060-05:00Descriptive and emotive - my favourite combination...Descriptive and emotive - my favourite combination. <br />Your writing is well crafted.<br />McCord is human, yes? “I choose the path I walk not destiny.” He has been hanging with the undead for too long ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15459671422564355990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-11887701577439746642010-04-10T18:24:48.400-05:002010-04-10T18:24:48.400-05:00Oh Quigley-- my husband loves that movie. You defi...Oh Quigley-- my husband loves that movie. You definitely have great voice in this, and a solid feeling for your setting. Nice work!Amalia Dillinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13005039978668326144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-43744538332605810762010-04-10T17:14:30.184-05:002010-04-10T17:14:30.184-05:00An immortal Quigley? What a great idea! So, did th...An immortal Quigley? What a great idea! So, did the murderer write the message while the coast was clear?Myrna Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13534358757278599925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-69831521489772915192010-04-10T17:13:38.508-05:002010-04-10T17:13:38.508-05:00Excellent narrative voice, emotion and description...Excellent narrative voice, emotion and description. I, too, love the layering of paranormal and the old west. It surprises, adding dimension to the piece.VR Barkowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04927993233682731113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-17553942190979356172010-04-10T16:25:11.999-05:002010-04-10T16:25:11.999-05:00Oh, I agree with the rest: the paranormal/old west...Oh, I agree with the rest: the paranormal/old west thing is an awesome choice. And what kills what's already dead? Way to raise the stakes, good sir.<br /><br />I might have a thing for Inari, too. It's possible. I like to live dangerously...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-15985162735238617112010-04-10T16:01:21.182-05:002010-04-10T16:01:21.182-05:00The paranormal mixed in with the old western was f...The paranormal mixed in with the old western was fascinating. I loved this.Raquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-36048217907745051842010-04-10T15:53:37.433-05:002010-04-10T15:53:37.433-05:00Very well written! The interaction of the characte...Very well written! The interaction of the characters is believable, and the dialogue interweaves seamlessly with the narrative. Nice job!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-30697024070523460702010-04-10T15:49:44.832-05:002010-04-10T15:49:44.832-05:00I thought this was intrguiting. All the characters...I thought this was intrguiting. All the characters had such distinct personalities and there were many clues as to what has happened in their pasts.<br /><br />I was also intrigued by this being a historical fantasy. Most fantasies these days are set in a different world or in the present day but you've set this in the past. The idea of the chupacabra was interesting. I'm wondering where this all goes...<br /><br />JaiJai Joshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04858987106548357551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-75308362553775950122010-04-10T15:46:35.772-05:002010-04-10T15:46:35.772-05:00Wow! I'm so interested to know what's goin...Wow! I'm so interested to know what's going on with your characters! Great scene--hope to see more of Samuel and friends.Courtney Reesehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05027695819270602098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-26496119848717825062010-04-10T15:45:47.977-05:002010-04-10T15:45:47.977-05:00Ah, I love blogfests! It's so fun to spend th...Ah, I love blogfests! It's so fun to spend the day reading murders. Great job!<br /><br />If you've got time, come on over and check out my contribution! <br /><br />http://musingsofawould-bewriter.blogspot.com/M. Bailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12811654487507824088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-65567486889839477022010-04-10T13:24:04.634-05:002010-04-10T13:24:04.634-05:00Awesome entry for the fest. Thanks so much!Awesome entry for the fest. Thanks so much!Anne Rileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15142671531881407934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-91222586919592626122010-04-10T12:57:28.184-05:002010-04-10T12:57:28.184-05:00You do a great job detailing the setting, I like t...You do a great job detailing the setting, I like that and that twist, I wasn't expecting it. Well written!Mynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07595087387069634003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-59803282781390229642010-04-10T12:15:40.181-05:002010-04-10T12:15:40.181-05:00The paranormal element was interesting because I d...The paranormal element was interesting because I didn't expect it at first (I try to start reading the scene without any set-up and only read the set-up if I find it totally necessary). Your dialogue and description are lovely.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18096173111325220168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-4845284854350987822010-04-10T11:13:32.781-05:002010-04-10T11:13:32.781-05:00Very nice descriptions! Great scene! And Quigley i...Very nice descriptions! Great scene! And Quigley is a great movie.Anastasia V. Pergakishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03350626962513824401noreply@blogger.com