tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post881779342032522381..comments2024-03-25T05:17:05.202-05:00Comments on Writing In The Crosshairs: FIGHT BLOGFEST_PREY FOR ME_GHOST OF A CHANCE InterludeRoland D. Yeomanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-63639087987018680462010-09-05T22:40:20.232-05:002010-09-05T22:40:20.232-05:00Coming by a little late...
Great scene! One of my...Coming by a little late...<br /><br />Great scene! One of my favorite lines: <br />"I instinctively looked to the right, the side of my body without a heart."<br /><br />But the best has to be the ending.<br /><br />"I stood alone on top of the Hindenburg, the winds nearly blowing me off. The remote, staring eyes of the granite Jesus stabbed into me.<br /><br />Staggering at the impact of the winds, I snarled at Him.<br /><br />"What are you looking at? I wish the hell you'd tell me because I do not know."<br /><br />The words bled from me. "I do not know."<br /><br />And so did I, last of the Sidhe, slip past the stony, open-armed grasp of Christ the Redeemer."<br /><br />The staring eyes stabbing, the words bleeding, the symbolism of the Sidhe eluding the grasp of Christianity - this is beautiful writing.<br /><br />Very nicely done.roh morgonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06823641709307631626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-46760836341518593502010-09-02T03:20:59.100-05:002010-09-02T03:20:59.100-05:00I love this: "edging around each other on the...I love this: "edging around each other on the Hindenburg's elevator flap, under a fifty foot swastika, in front of an open-armed, stony faced Jesus.<br /><br />It was the stuff of a Wagner opera, complete with two suicidal valkyries."<br /><br />Great action, Roland. This would make a terrific scene for a movie. :)Alison Pearce Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00955543150406880055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-92059567838565846042010-09-01T12:21:47.457-05:002010-09-01T12:21:47.457-05:00I do believe this is my favorite fight scene. Insi...I do believe this is my favorite fight scene. Inside the bowels of the zepplin, surfing the rails with sparking swords...then outside, balancing over the water with the granite statue. Loved the stolen kisses and the bending of space-time to flit right in front of her. I SO WISH you wrote screenplays! I would pay to see a movie like this.<br /><br /><b><a href="http://nitewriter6.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Edge of Your Seat Romance</a></b>Raquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-17976000716782318432010-08-31T15:40:57.021-05:002010-08-31T15:40:57.021-05:00A well-choreographed fight scene indeed. Nice job,...A well-choreographed fight scene indeed. Nice job, Roland. ;]Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-45924641720052195162010-08-31T15:18:22.479-05:002010-08-31T15:18:22.479-05:00My favourite bit of imagery:
"The world blur...My favourite bit of imagery: <br />"The world blurred, the deck changed shape beneath my boots"<br /><br />I love your way of writing, it's more poetry than prose! <br /><br />There's (another) award for you on my blog btw...<br /><br />Tessa.xxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046724975658216337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-69055097846965982392010-08-31T14:50:34.612-05:002010-08-31T14:50:34.612-05:00Roland, amazing piece. You somehow always pulll of...Roland, amazing piece. You somehow always pulll off wonderful imagery and descriptions, trailing your readers along for the ride. I only noticed one small thing and you might have done it on purpose, but it didn't seem to fit. : "She felt my eyes on her and whirled about, actually hissing at me, her knife springing up." How could your main character know that? I realize its a self fighting self type of thing, but it makes it less believable with this in it. just a for your information thing.Summer Rosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08122694893668693244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-60603431202402739482010-08-31T14:44:50.091-05:002010-08-31T14:44:50.091-05:00Kelly Dexter's right, Roland! Awesome story, ...Kelly Dexter's right, Roland! Awesome story, great fight scenes. Your mojo's humming along!Kittie Howardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07756250649095903317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-49481033061500314062010-08-31T14:38:59.952-05:002010-08-31T14:38:59.952-05:00You're at your best when you'ore doing sna...You're at your best when you'ore doing snappy dialogue and having characters interact with the setting. The way you wove the setting into the fight scene was fabulous!<br /><br />I really enjoyed this, and the character's attitude, though I didn't really understand the whole kissing thing until the end. I kept asking myself, "Why would you kiss someone in a fight? Much more effective to punch than leave yourself open." But in the end, wrapping it back around, it made sense.Stephanie Loréehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03512485557711771802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-32915083192036102582010-08-31T12:32:16.865-05:002010-08-31T12:32:16.865-05:00The dynamic between the two characters was as comp...The dynamic between the two characters was as compelling as the action itself. Excellently staged, very cinematic, very epic. If someone filmed this it would be spectacular. Great work Roland.Franklin Beaumonthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17950277803662347842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-12597667866069449812010-08-31T11:31:24.099-05:002010-08-31T11:31:24.099-05:00Wow, what an adventure! I love the details of the...Wow, what an adventure! I love the details of the scenery - the Nazi symbol, the statue, the zeppelin. <br /><br />My favorite line:<br /><br />"If you can't stand being you, why did you think I could?"<br /><br />A really beautiful piece, Roland. I loved it. Nice job - and keep writing!Elena Solodowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03037029195682225565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-64459895931982739762010-08-31T11:28:32.922-05:002010-08-31T11:28:32.922-05:00Fantastic fight scene in every way.
"That&#...Fantastic fight scene in every way. <br /><br />"That's Queen Bitch to you." LOL!!!<br /><br />I have something for you over at my blog so stop by when you get a chance between blogfests:)Terry Stonecrophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03726985400500572770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-29824554014553635512010-08-31T09:25:42.169-05:002010-08-31T09:25:42.169-05:00This is awesome. I love how tightly paced it is an...This is awesome. I love how tightly paced it is and on how many different levels it works. I would love to read a book about this character.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04283371140346602856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-48867569649203921432010-08-31T07:54:33.806-05:002010-08-31T07:54:33.806-05:00Loved this Roland. So much symbolism in fighting y...Loved this Roland. So much symbolism in fighting yourself. Being able to be killed by yourself puts a whole new spin on things. <br /><br />I loved the ending. She had to embrace that part of her in order to save herself.Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-72566532883352751392010-08-31T07:22:13.018-05:002010-08-31T07:22:13.018-05:00...whoever she is or was, she inspires you to writ......whoever she is or was, she inspires you to write and my guess is, it was she who had noticed your true talents, and am sure, she too is giving you a big hug and a kiss in her ghostly way.imagery imaginedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07291852147832887334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-18230508093952437302010-08-31T06:52:50.054-05:002010-08-31T06:52:50.054-05:00I love the fight scenes! They were very tight.I love the fight scenes! They were very tight.Golden Eaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08721520451194318436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-87221613159766454492010-08-31T06:29:02.538-05:002010-08-31T06:29:02.538-05:00That was tight and pacey! I loved it! A fallen ang...That was tight and pacey! I loved it! A fallen angel fighting her doppelganger, all while floating in a giant zeppelin around the Christ the Redeemer statue! My, what an image!<br /><br />"I always wanted to do that," I laughed. "But I kept getting lipstick all over the mirror."<br /><br />That made me LOL!J.C. Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01567971311643106302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-56493225365685406812010-08-31T00:36:43.263-05:002010-08-31T00:36:43.263-05:00Very well written Roland. You are displaying your...Very well written Roland. You are displaying your talents to the extreme here. Action has always been a strength for you.<br /><br />The dialogue was well done too. Got such a sense of these two, their same-but-different personalities and internal struggles.<br /><br />I very much enjoyed this Roland.<br /><br />........dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-4215820443831107342010-08-30T23:30:27.123-05:002010-08-30T23:30:27.123-05:00Very nice indeed. I find that fight scenes can be...Very nice indeed. I find that fight scenes can be very tricky. There is usually a lot going on and it takes skill to make me see it they way you invisioned it without a lot of confusion. You certainly know how to do that. Great, great job.Wendy Tyler Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10841984342368861282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-84507249143766071582010-08-30T23:13:03.610-05:002010-08-30T23:13:03.610-05:00Kelly : Saying you were that immersed in my tale r...Kelly : Saying you were that immersed in my tale really makes me feel as if all my work was worth it. Thanks.<br /><br />VR : That I could make you laugh after a hard, grueling day makes me feel as if my fallen angel did her job in brightening your evening.<br /><br />The story's genesis was a photograph of the real Hindenburg sailing right by the granite face of the towering Christ The Redeemer.<br />monument.<br /><br />The book, whose front face that photo was, burned up with my home. I wasn't able to find it on the internet to post with this story.<br /><br />Glad you liked my snippet from my story.Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-75926459169603671142010-08-30T23:01:32.204-05:002010-08-30T23:01:32.204-05:00Both a superb fight scene—talk about internal stru...Both a superb fight scene—talk about internal struggle—and a thought provoking read. Saved by Jesus or not? What does He see? I admit my favorite line was <i>"I always wanted to do that," I laughed. "But I kept getting lipstick all over the mirror."</i> It made me chuckle after what was a long hard day.VR Barkowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04927993233682731113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-9505010979076679842010-08-30T22:55:30.666-05:002010-08-30T22:55:30.666-05:00I thought this was fantastic! Like The Words Craf...I thought this was fantastic! Like The Words Crafter, I didn't realize how into it I was because I was so immersed in the story. Great characterizations and awesome fight scenes.<br /><br />Well done!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-59629306609132935772010-08-30T22:25:12.909-05:002010-08-30T22:25:12.909-05:00Words Crafter : I wrote two novels where she is on...Words Crafter : I wrote two novels where she is one of the two love interests of the clone grown from the tissue sample taken from the tip of the Spear of Destiny : <br /><br />LOVE LIKE DEATH and LAST EXIT TO BABYLON.<br /><br /> She is also the protagonist of the short story, THE LIES THAT LOCUST TELL.<br /><br />Hers is a Greek tragedy of a tale with love, horror, trials, some happiness, and an uncertain end.<br /><br />Perhaps I'll find a source to publish them someday. Thanks for liking her adventures. She blows you a kiss from the cyber-realms.Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-69649309739262151632010-08-30T22:16:01.557-05:002010-08-30T22:16:01.557-05:00Wow! Great fight scenes, unexpected, uh, 'weap...Wow! Great fight scenes, unexpected, uh, 'weapons' and very tight-I didn't know I was holding my breath until I finished! So she DID get to go with honor, but she's still sad and haunted and lost. Can she have a happy ending? (I'm a sucker for flawed, tortured characters and I always want happiness or resolution or something good for them.)The Words Crafterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14520267901489487512noreply@blogger.com