tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post3249460005605916010..comments2024-03-25T05:17:05.202-05:00Comments on Writing In The Crosshairs: DEATH SPEAKS EVERY TONGUERoland D. Yeomanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-67704966423484755282011-01-09T20:28:28.142-06:002011-01-09T20:28:28.142-06:00Words Crafter : Victor thanks you for liking his l...Words Crafter : Victor thanks you for liking his line. He's a scamp that one. Victor is a survivor. I am in the midst of writing his run across the rooftops of the French Quarter, along the balconies, down and up the walls of the buildings ... all the while taunting the pursuing raptors. <br /><br />I'm glad you think I have some skill in cliffhanging. It's something all of us must do to keep the agent turning the pages. Never give them a stop point to lay down your manuscript. Always make them wonder how your hero is going to get out of this one. RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-61778325927521930732011-01-09T19:32:01.818-06:002011-01-09T19:32:01.818-06:00give something for my shivers to dance to....love ...give something for my shivers to dance to....love that line!<br /><br />I can't imagine how he's going to get out of this one.....you're terribly adept at the cliffhanger!!!!!!!The Words Crafterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14520267901489487512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-10184085482817277602011-01-08T23:45:48.033-06:002011-01-08T23:45:48.033-06:00Raquel : Victor is a hoot, isn't he? Surround...Raquel : Victor is a hoot, isn't he? Surrounded by raptors, he still tries to laugh at the danger and himself. If you ever saw PRINCE OF PERSIA, Victor does parkour as the young orphan boy at the film's beginning.<br /><br />For a truly astounding display of parkour, at which Victor is expert, go to this link :<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ7OhP8rpoQ<br /><br />Have a great Sunday, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-30722860590228169802011-01-08T23:37:22.336-06:002011-01-08T23:37:22.336-06:00LOL! I loved you first line. It pulled me right in...LOL! I loved you first line. It pulled me right in with the perfect tone...laughter and danger.<br /><br />The leaping off the backs, full cartwheels and everything else was a wild, exhilarating, and unforgettable ride.<br /><br />Thanks!<br /><b><a href="http://nitewriter6.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Edge of Your Seat Romance</a></b>Raquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-13869487366886061652011-01-08T23:32:06.736-06:002011-01-08T23:32:06.736-06:00Michael : I'm in the middle of the wild chase ...Michael : I'm in the middle of the wild chase through the French Quarter that Victor leads the reptilian Soyoko, using his skill at Parkour and running into helpful ghosts and psychotic ones along the way -- <br /><br />did you know that there was a Jill the Ripper of sorts in the early days of the French Quarter? Of course, Victor runs afoul of her with the Soyoko hot on his heels. That poor boy can't seem to catch a break!<br /><br />I'm glad I caught you up with my snippet of his nightmare situation.<br /><br />Imagery Imagined : I'm glad you got something useful out of my mini-lesson.<br /><br />Donna : I think of Victor as a kind of 13 year old Tony Stark of the IRON MOVIES. That you liked my description of his character and his surroundings means a lot coming from you.Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-71018721815976964502011-01-08T22:59:01.199-06:002011-01-08T22:59:01.199-06:00Laughter in the face of death; romantic sacrifice;...Laughter in the face of death; romantic sacrifice; witty comebacks. Victor is so playful, and engaging character.<br /><br />I like the setting description. Vivid imagery for the senses. <br /><br />Thanks for the mini-lesson.<br /><br />......dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-64618736171716745292011-01-08T22:13:30.287-06:002011-01-08T22:13:30.287-06:00thanks, Roland... for your mini lesson on writing....thanks, Roland... for your mini lesson on writing. Much appreciated always. :)imagery imaginedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07291852147832887334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-935694071268103512011-01-08T21:39:54.487-06:002011-01-08T21:39:54.487-06:00I can't stand Victor being in such a dilemma a...I can't stand Victor being in such a dilemma and poor Alice having to see it.<br /><br />Talk abut torturing your mc. Now I will be worrying about VIctor and how he gets out of this mess.<br /><br />But I know you Roland my friend, you won't let anything happen to Victor.... or will you?<br /><br /><br />MichaelMichael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-84208074308717986512011-01-08T20:37:21.406-06:002011-01-08T20:37:21.406-06:00Shortening the sentences will help with reader att...Shortening the sentences will help with reader attention and speeding up the feel to the read.<br /><br />Look at the conflict involved with the scene you're trying to pace well. There's should be a strong "Want" for your hero's goal. There should be an equally strong, if not stronger, obstacle to block your hero.<br /><br />Look at this post. <br />The set-up appealed to three of the five senses : smell (stench), sight (hellish strobe-light effect), sound (pounding drums, scurrying sounds of claws upon stone).<br /><br />The set-up grounded the reader in the "reality" of Victor's senses. Thus, lending realism to his encounter with surreal evolved raptors.<br /><br />Victor's want : the safety of Alice, his ghoul friend. The obstacles : her own hunger for the flesh of the baby she was holding - and - the evolved raptors who delight in torture and eating humans.<br /><br />Victor is thrown into sure death, then thrown a bone of saving his love -- at the expense of his own life.<br /><br />But Victor, being Victor, turns things and himself upside down, while laughing at death the whole time. The reader tenses, expects the worst, then gets a slim chance for escape. <br /><br />I hope this mini-lesson is a help in some small way, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-82540156542292592012011-01-08T20:20:39.686-06:002011-01-08T20:20:39.686-06:00I've read your post on "pacing" last...I've read your post on "pacing" last week, I'll try shortening my sentences and paragraphs, maybe this will help?<br /><br />Going back to your post, I hope Victor is okay, and I liked the way you set the dark mood by describing the dark atmospheric stench, "The smell in the darkness was terrible. Heavy musk. Nose-wrinkling tang of ammonia. Stomach-turning stench of rotting flesh."imagery imaginedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07291852147832887334noreply@blogger.com