tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post6867160542292646580..comments2024-03-25T05:17:05.202-05:00Comments on Writing In The Crosshairs: WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MEAN?Roland D. Yeomanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-19331441294492933502014-10-01T10:21:17.624-05:002014-10-01T10:21:17.624-05:00Hilary:
Yes, the photographs are a good idea. If I...Hilary:<br />Yes, the photographs are a good idea. If I had a mini-tape recorder, I would record, too. :-)<br /><br />As my recent bout with cancer showed me: there are much worse fates!<br /><br />Thanks for having my back, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-51868816316898433862014-10-01T09:33:00.827-05:002014-10-01T09:33:00.827-05:00Hi Roland - gosh .. people can be so cruel - don&#...Hi Roland - gosh .. people can be so cruel - don't they realise, of course they do - til the table is turned on them. To fight through your exceedingly unfortunate work colleagues - being blind, dumb and mute appear to be your only way out.<br /><br />Thankfully you know better and you would never treat a human being in this despicable manner ... seemingly you have to ignore them and their pejorative writings completely, make sure you do your work perfectly, take some photographs perhaps (regularly too - for back up) ... and endeavour to not let it stress you - though that could be really difficult.<br /><br />I do feel for you ... exceedingly unpleasant ... take care - HilaryHilary Melton-Butcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596532480645510678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-13985344170448102182014-09-30T15:42:04.385-05:002014-09-30T15:42:04.385-05:00Michael:
It's healing to know that you have my...Michael:<br />It's healing to know that you have my back. People are such walking tragedies. They behave in ways that diminish themselves, thinking they are superior. Sigh.<br /><br />How is your query process going? If you decide on self-publication, let me know. I will try to help. :-)<br /><br />Helena:<br />The supervisors in the main office kill the messenger usually. Or they label the situation as a mis-communication, thus dealing with the problem by labeling it a non-problem.<br /><br />There is a character, Hawk, in the Spenser novel and old TV show. I would be tempted to hire him to explain the "Mis-Communication" problem to them! :-)<br /><br />Sally"<br />The Lab is supercilious, vain, petty, and sublimate their inner turmoil by verbally demeaning those in their world outside their department. But after I have survived cancer, I try to think of them as small stuff. :-)<br /><br />R. Mac:<br />The Lab staff makes large dollars for the blood center. They can do no wrong in the eyes of the Medical Head of the Tri-State Blood Center.<br /><br />I have started keeping a journal of these illegal actions. Of course, they pride themselves in going for appeal after appeal, dragging things out for years. <br /><br />Thanks for caring, R. Mac. :-)Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-17396046464722355282014-09-30T06:39:13.616-05:002014-09-30T06:39:13.616-05:00It's called a hostile work environment, and yo...It's called a hostile work environment, and your HR department is despicable if they let fools get away with that.Author R. Mac Wheelerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15679108828353499313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-7264825759747270982014-09-30T05:24:22.373-05:002014-09-30T05:24:22.373-05:00Knowing some of the reasons they may behave this w...Knowing some of the reasons they may behave this way and actually dealing with their behaviour are two very different things. I've always admired your writing and your thoughts on various subjects always touch me in some way. <br /><br />I personally think there is too much negativity in television, social media and various other outlets. <br /><br />Good luck, Roland, keep your chin up!<br />Sallyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14090018804016223955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-77929960811328996572014-09-30T01:28:45.267-05:002014-09-30T01:28:45.267-05:00Roland my dear, you are a good, very intelligent, ...Roland my dear, you are a good, very intelligent, very gifted man who obviously threatens the hell out of those inferior coworkers. Personally, I don't care WHY they're nasty, evil, scum-sucking bullies because I've learned over the years that in most cases figuring out bullies' motivations never helped me. Instead, when I was in a position to confront them (professionally speaking), they always crumpled like paper. I even found that they could easily get very scared, which was a revelation to me.<br /><br />But sadly, it sounds as if you are in a different professional situation, one in which you are not receiving support from company executives, even though your coworkers are creating what is legally known as a hostile work environment. So darling, just hang in there and be your sweet self.<br /><br />I wish I had an Uncle Guido I could send to your workplace to straighten out those jerks. Maybe some day they'll get right back at them what they've been doling out.Helenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14967821142796562697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-64849754800860957242014-09-29T22:48:52.448-05:002014-09-29T22:48:52.448-05:00Hi, Roland,
Most people are mean because the ARE ...Hi, Roland,<br /><br />Most people are mean because the ARE insecure and in many case JEALOUS. I believe that is what you are experiencing at work. Their jealously. You are a truly special and wonderful person. They KNOW THIS... so to bring you down to their level, the believe meanness is necessary. Cruel, yes. But, completely understandable.<br /><br />I have fought bullies my whole life. Jealousy was always the reason. And even today. Once close friends have shown their true colors and the green monster has surfaced. I am who I am. Nothing more. <br /><br />I treat everyone as kindly as I can. Many take it for weakness or out of context. But I refuse to change. But as you said we have the power to react by not reacting, cutting them off at the legs.<br /><br />Hang in there pal. WE love your kindness, intellect, and amazing creativity. Here, you are appreciated! We are a family...Michael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-74662292375733478032014-09-29T22:41:33.619-05:002014-09-29T22:41:33.619-05:00Denise:
I used to think I worked on the Isle of Mi...Denise:<br />I used to think I worked on the Isle of Misfit Toys. Now, I think I have wandered into LORD OF THE FLIES! :-(Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-48476645703705908952014-09-29T22:16:18.506-05:002014-09-29T22:16:18.506-05:00That is such a sad work environment Roland. I don&...That is such a sad work environment Roland. I don't get it. Life is too short to act mean! A shame you have to go through that on a daily basis. But I guess the workplace is a microcosm of society--and look how mean society is at the moment. <br /><br />Denise :-)Denise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-23281654214909328382014-09-29T20:48:16.570-05:002014-09-29T20:48:16.570-05:00Vesper:
I try to think of what Victor Standish wou...Vesper:<br />I try to think of what Victor Standish would do in my place -- not that I would do it -- but it makes me smile -- and that makes them angrier. :-)<br /><br />Wendy:<br />Sandra says they might actually be jealous of my many books! It is a comforting thought. :-) Thanks for being on my side!<br /><br />Susan:<br />Creepy is the word for it all right. When Sandra still had her store, the head of the lab visited her (He is a big man in the local Miss America contests)<br /><br />When my home burned, I saved one large tiger puppet in a safari suit and sunglasses I used to visit old customers with when they went to the hospital. I was a lousy voice thrower and told worse jokes but it made them laugh for a time.<br /><br />I kept it in the backseat of my car, and the head of the Lab said in front of her customers that it was a child molestation toy.<br /><br />Sigh. Yes, creepy indeed.Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-91036505430894601232014-09-29T19:26:01.510-05:002014-09-29T19:26:01.510-05:00People who know your superiority feel threatened, ...People who know your superiority feel threatened, which turns them into a bully. In Ender's Game, Ender beat the first bully, so the other bullies would leave him alone. Didn't work with Salamander, but it made Ender's focus clear.<br />Kinda creepy.Susan Kanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09834094675218254410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-73872856888879803282014-09-29T19:13:34.514-05:002014-09-29T19:13:34.514-05:00No matter what degrees these bullies have got - or...No matter what degrees these bullies have got - or what pedigree they think they may have, nobody should be made to feel inferior. We are all equal when standing naked in the bathroom. Crikey, horrible thought!<br /><br />Much like Janie Junebug, I too become blind and deaf to bullies. They are shallow and not worthy of our precious time. Easily said than done, I know.<br /><br />Anyway, I bet they haven't written dozens of brilliant books!!! :)Just Wendy https://www.blogger.com/profile/05268645629027109282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-60960177627987978102014-09-29T19:11:04.248-05:002014-09-29T19:11:04.248-05:00Roland, I'm so very sorry you're going thr...Roland, I'm so very sorry you're going through this. I remember reading an article about "how to deal with impossible people" and the idea was to get detached, to not respond, to not get angry, etc. - but you know all that already. Also, it's easier said than done... <br />I wish you good luck and inner strength, and just try to think of what you like and not of those people.Vesperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12417602625059442986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-29412491157427470632014-09-29T18:04:13.714-05:002014-09-29T18:04:13.714-05:00Alex:
Avoiding them is out of the question since m...Alex:<br />Avoiding them is out of the question since my job necessitates I interact with them. I will strive to keep my words to a minimum and endure when the lab tech slams down the receiver on me in the middle of a sentence because I bring her unwelcome news. Sigh.<br /><br />Elephant's Child:<br />My job forces me to interact with them. I will just have to be creative in keeping the interactions short! Governments are the ultimate bullies!<br /><br />D.G.:<br />Reporting them to HR is pointless since my blood center makes a huge amount of money from their work, and drivers they can get off the street.<br /><br />I can only pray that they ultimately fall in the pits they dig for me and others. Learning to be better I think is out. Children are wet cement, but once adults the concrete has hardened beyond healing usually. <br /><br />I pray your husband grows better daily. :-)Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-70209739410695934682014-09-29T17:48:59.000-05:002014-09-29T17:48:59.000-05:00I prefer to take another route too, by using avenu...I prefer to take another route too, by using avenues of reporting which are available to me. I've been dealing with 'mean' nurses who resent family telling them to do something for the patient. Never give in, never surrender, just surprise them. . .<br /><br />There will always be those who are resentful of others for whatever reason. We deal with it in the way most comfortable to us, and that's what you're doing Roland. Those types of posters are degrading and show the small minds of those who like them. <br />D.G. Hudsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06213237734772028645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-46846607884830309932014-09-29T17:23:04.311-05:002014-09-29T17:23:04.311-05:00Sadly too many people (and Governments) believe th...Sadly too many people (and Governments) believe that attack is the very best (indeed the only) form of defence.<br />And teach their philosophy well. Too well.<br />I can and do avoid the individuals. The Governments are a trickier proposition.Elephant's Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06650565833097914052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-69993714308869728112014-09-29T17:19:36.633-05:002014-09-29T17:19:36.633-05:00Think you nailed all the reasons and all the answe...Think you nailed all the reasons and all the answers. Those kinds of people are so insecure that putting others down is the only way they feel secure. But ultimately, they don't, they feel just as bad if not worse. It's a vicious cycle.<br />Avoid them and pray for them.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-81967790686207075072014-09-29T17:16:08.100-05:002014-09-29T17:16:08.100-05:00Janie:
I have survived cancer so that puts it all ...Janie:<br />I have survived cancer so that puts it all into perspective for me. Sadly, one of the techs has survived cancer as has her husband. She was granted so much and returns evil for the good done her. Sigh. Thanks for the prayers. :-)<br /><br />Inger:<br />Mother also grew cruel at times due to the cancer. You are right: remind yourself it is the illness talking and not them.<br /><br />Yes, though they consider themselves sophisticated, their actions prove otherwise.<br /><br />May your husband soon be well. You both are in my prayers. Roland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-65231755366952362092014-09-29T17:09:34.102-05:002014-09-29T17:09:34.102-05:00I am so sorry too, but you are right in ignoring t...I am so sorry too, but you are right in ignoring them. They do get scary with guns so available though. Or in the name of religion in the Middle East and other places.<br /><br /> I got a big dose of it here at home, when hubby's illness released overdoses of ammonia to his brain, causing all kinds of mean spirited behavior in someone who is basically very nice. Once I knew why, it became a lesson in keeping my mouth shut and repeating to myself it was his illness not him. <br /><br />Many of those who harass you at work have probably been abused as children. It seems like very childish behavior, actually. Ingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02924736131382149056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-58688934774526127022014-09-29T16:12:40.162-05:002014-09-29T16:12:40.162-05:00I am so very sorry that this horrible behavior is ...I am so very sorry that this horrible behavior is directed at you. Yes, they are insecure. When I'm around people who say nasty things that I know are directed at me, I become deaf and blind and whatever else I need to be. <br /><br />May God bless you and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you and grant you peace.<br /><br />Love,<br />JanieJanie Junebughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10573607241326291404noreply@blogger.com