tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post7751266814449670253..comments2024-03-29T03:28:22.296-05:00Comments on Writing In The Crosshairs: HOOK/LOGLINE BLOGFESTRoland D. Yeomanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-67120710951696403512010-05-24T18:33:19.496-05:002010-05-24T18:33:19.496-05:00;) lol;) lollaughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-29287942395912058172010-05-23T21:06:46.335-05:002010-05-23T21:06:46.335-05:00I like the first one best. It packs in the most i...I like the first one best. It packs in the most important parts while remaining concise.Lovy Bohemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13509964193558798499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-44018984707479795112010-05-23T14:44:03.410-05:002010-05-23T14:44:03.410-05:00My fav is #1, second fav #2, leaving out the word ...My fav is #1, second fav #2, leaving out the word 'man': Samuel McCord, the beloved of Death herself. I'm guessing you stacked them this way for just that very reason? Or not...<br /><br />Either way, great job!<br /><br />~That Rebel, OliviaOlivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barréhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01107021392937169669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-45845791907044877432010-05-23T11:40:37.824-05:002010-05-23T11:40:37.824-05:00Hey, Roland! Sangu's character interview blogf...Hey, Roland! Sangu's character interview blogfest is June 15 :d And guess what? MY blogfest (cognitive dissonance) is on June 28 - it's how I'm celebratin' my birthday this year. I'd LOVE it if you signed up. No pressure, right? :DZoe C. Courtmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00642503770758938774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-47860980648369455662010-05-23T02:04:16.553-05:002010-05-23T02:04:16.553-05:00Roland, I've stopped by your blog previously -...Roland, I've stopped by your blog previously - fascinated by the art at the top. <br />Pilgrim, that's art with a capital A!<br />I liked all of your loglines, btw. Hmmm. Which one was best? For me, I think #4 with #5 as a close second.<br />If I speak to you by loving the Rockies, you speak to me with the art and music that you post. Picture that beautiful blue-eyed woman with the Tetons in the background and a full, bright Rocky Mountain moon reflected in her eyes, Moonlight Sonata floating softly on the breeze that gently swirls her veil away revealing... ok. Enough. You finish it. <br />ciao.<br />:)k m kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201119068196061672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-47338891036676745692010-05-23T01:21:33.906-05:002010-05-23T01:21:33.906-05:00Anne : So it's 1, 2, or 5 with you. Well, thos...Anne : So it's 1, 2, or 5 with you. Well, those seem to be the favorites of the five. And always good to hear from you.<br /><br />Sangu : You and I think alike. Oh, and when is your character interview blogfest slated to start?<br /><br />Tricia : Yes, my votes are all over the place. Ha. Ha. But hey, at least I see a bit of a trend.<br /><br />Dawn : Thank for explaining your thinking on my loglines and how they misfire when they do. You're a champ for writing.<br /><br />Mia : I think you're right : #1 is the lead horse here. And you have a lovely, zesty, and fun blog.<br /><br />Kathryn : So it's #2 for you. Thanks for writing and telling me so. And don't be a stranger.<br /><br />Bryan : Thanks for giving such a mind-stretching blogfest. And combining 1 and 5 would make a good one paragraph summation. Thanks.<br /><br />Myne : Thanks for the kind words. And I'm heading your way after saying thanks here.<br /><br />Ann : You're right. These suckers are hard to write. Thanks for saying I did a good job with mine.<br /><br />Shalena : Like Bryan you like 1 and 5. Thanks and come back again, hear?<br /><br />Raquel : You like #4. Thanks. The Angel of Death took a sword thrust meant for Samuel. The blade still went into him, and the angel's blood on the blade mingled with his own.<br /><br />Elaine : #4 is your choice. Thanks for saying it is strong.<br /><br />Girl with One Eye : Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Please come again if you liked what you read.<br /><br />Elizabeth : I was aiming to arouse the reader's curiosity {my take on a logline is that it is the one sentence set apart from the rest of the description on the inside jacket blurb. Thanks for visiting,<br /><br />Laughing Wolf : Something's missing? I know. A picture of Angelina. There. Now, it's perfect!<br /><br />RaShelle : Well, three sentences/one paragraph is the elevator pitch. To me the logline is the one sentence set apart from the rest of the inside jacket blurb that hopefully will get the browser to read the whole description on the jacket blurb. Thanks for commenting. <br /><br />And thanks for wanting to read the whole book. That means a lot. And if you know an agent whose arm you could twist, there's a box of chocolates in it for you! Thanks for liking #2.<br /><br />Everyone, thanks. I'm on call tonight, work all day tomorrow, and on call tomorrow night. My head is spinning. I better crash before the phone rings. RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-35760487798975649762010-05-23T01:02:37.583-05:002010-05-23T01:02:37.583-05:00My head's a little light-headed from all the f...My head's a little light-headed from all the fun and games of blood-running and filtering. But I want to say thanks to all of you who cared enough to visit and comment.<br /><br />Kitty : I like number one best myself.<br /><br />Harley : Yeah, glad you liked the Devil's Food Cake in-joke.<br /><br />Susan : So great minds run in the same circle, huh. It's #1 for you, too.<br /><br />Charity : I liked your post as well. #1 seems hot so far.<br /><br />Zoe : Yes, I'm doing Sangu's interview fest, though I have forgotten what date it is. Could you let me know? Always good to hear from you.<br /><br />Genie : I got a bit poetic with #1. And when you have the blood of the angel of Death mingled in your veins, death does call to death. So you like #2. I put a lot of effort in that one as well. Thanks.<br /><br />Jane : I wish you luck on your logline for your second book. Like Zoe said those things are the kidney stones of writing -- at least for me.<br /><br />Jemi : Thanks for liking #1. I do, too.<br /><br />Tessa : I like your re-write of #2. Wanna be my editor?<br /><br />Bria : Your PUSH story was excellent and timely for me. Thanks for liking #2.<br /><br />I have to split my thanks in half this time, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-58189251773406277802010-05-22T19:55:25.527-05:002010-05-22T19:55:25.527-05:00So the logline is supposed to be our elevator pitc...So the logline is supposed to be our elevator pitch. If an agent said, "What's your book about?" and you said - "Death calls to death" -hmmmm. Along those lines, #2 def stands out. I could see that one being close. We all would change up our loglines to fit our speech, but #2 could come out pretty natural. Really great! I wanna read your book!! Agents snap this baby up.RaShelle Workmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17582252557500502186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-46390199093612042892010-05-22T19:52:39.827-05:002010-05-22T19:52:39.827-05:00all do the trick, but something's still missin...all do the trick, but something's still missing to take it over the toplaughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-63312316306717875592010-05-22T19:12:39.115-05:002010-05-22T19:12:39.115-05:00I like the imagery of number 5. "the shadows ...I like the imagery of number 5. "the shadows are hungry". It creates a provoking and powerful impact by personifying them. I'm definitely intrigued! But I do wonder what you mean by "death in his veins"...<br /><br />Tell me what you think of my <a href="http://elizabethmueller.blogspot.com/2010/05/its-loglinehook-line-blogfest-time-woot.html" rel="nofollow">logline</a>! ;)Elizabeth Muellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06028099814857743134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-17452584998327260912010-05-22T17:49:39.322-05:002010-05-22T17:49:39.322-05:00I came by to check you out. My vote, #4 hands dow...I came by to check you out. My vote, #4 hands down.Dana Elmendorfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07130309062939542854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-68880532381759193862010-05-22T17:19:32.625-05:002010-05-22T17:19:32.625-05:00Number four is my favourite: boy is it strong!Number four is my favourite: boy is it strong!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15459671422564355990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-53316864397809502182010-05-22T17:12:14.867-05:002010-05-22T17:12:14.867-05:00Liking number four the most. The death in his vein...Liking number four the most. The death in his veins comments makes me wonder how he's been touched by eternity.Raquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-69504552891083768262010-05-22T17:04:29.073-05:002010-05-22T17:04:29.073-05:00Great post! I liked #1 & #5 best.Great post! I liked #1 & #5 best.Shalena @ Writer Quirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14002148442431475216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-11819221511264566332010-05-22T16:49:20.389-05:002010-05-22T16:49:20.389-05:00I'm going with number 4. Loglines are SO diffi...I'm going with number 4. Loglines are SO difficult to write. You've done a great job.Ann Besthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14628616245339887301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-2645806256103382852010-05-22T14:15:09.626-05:002010-05-22T14:15:09.626-05:00Your descriptions are always the best and even mor...Your descriptions are always the best and even more so here. #3 is the one that did it for me.<br /><br />http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2010/05/hook-line-for-heart-to-mend-blogfest.htmlMynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07595087387069634003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-29237124714065058132010-05-22T13:58:05.550-05:002010-05-22T13:58:05.550-05:00I'd combine 1 & 5, but you've got evoc...I'd combine 1 & 5, but you've got evocative descriptions here regardless.<br /><br />Nice job, and thanks for joining the blogfest!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-4020121847673833862010-05-22T13:41:37.970-05:002010-05-22T13:41:37.970-05:00They're all well done, but I like #2 best.
;-)...They're all well done, but I like #2 best.<br />;-)kathrynjankowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16708011523767228663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-15973108341514875822010-05-22T13:39:22.489-05:002010-05-22T13:39:22.489-05:00It's the weekend for most of you. But for me i...It's the weekend for most of you. But for me it is another day in my gauntlet. I deeply appreciate all your comments. All of you who come after this, please comment. <br /><br />When I drag in later on tonight, feeling like a horse that's been rode hard and left wet, those comments will mean more than you know.<br /><br />Whew. Well, like Sam might say, "Time to get to it and do it." Wish me luck out there, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-7182720839232152342010-05-22T13:25:57.625-05:002010-05-22T13:25:57.625-05:00OMG wow NUMBER ONE definitely was calling to me. I...OMG wow NUMBER ONE definitely was calling to me. I read it and then immediately wished I was reading this about a book I could buy. It's just got everything.<br /><br />Also I really liked number 2 and 5, but all of these loglines were really good to me. You're good at this ;~)<br /><br />AND, you're so sweet Roland, thanks for the encouraging comment today :)Mia Haysonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01041441666482084762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-29403555672966031772010-05-22T13:24:59.621-05:002010-05-22T13:24:59.621-05:00Nice work.
I'm gonna be a little different in...Nice work.<br /><br />I'm gonna be a little different in that #1 confuses me. "Death calls to death"? I don't get that part. I like # 2 up until the ":" and don't feel the rest is needed. #4 is pretty good too. Even though I don't read zombies, I think having the information about there being undead is a good bit to have in the logline.Dawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-85471791762107394362010-05-22T13:22:11.242-05:002010-05-22T13:22:11.242-05:00I think #2 and #4 are the most clear and compellin...I think #2 and #4 are the most clear and compelling. But since your votes are all over the place, good luck with sorting this out!Tricia J. O'Brienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05993110400088806252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-66021184192307256652010-05-22T12:17:42.073-05:002010-05-22T12:17:42.073-05:00Oh, #1 definitely. Great opening, and it totally i...Oh, #1 definitely. Great opening, and it totally intrigues you!Sangu Mandannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09464061265952789628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-18298413174243720132010-05-22T12:11:29.602-05:002010-05-22T12:11:29.602-05:00I think #1, #2, #5. I can't make up my mind b...I think #1, #2, #5. I can't make up my mind but any one of these is great.Anne Gallagherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05816355522284492131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681132888977525688.post-82484863447752575592010-05-22T11:55:44.723-05:002010-05-22T11:55:44.723-05:00These are great one liners. #2 gets my vote, but ...These are great one liners. #2 gets my vote, but certainly keep playing with ideas as you are doing. I met an author who was selling her book at a comic-con or some such type of conference, and she repeated her one sentence novel summary to about 1,000 people in one day. Sounds exhausting, but isn't that what we're all hoping for?<br /><br />Also, thanks for following my blog! The PUSH story is something I needed as well, and I'm glad someone else could benefit from it.Bria Burtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17429297309871518492noreply@blogger.com