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Hibbs, the cub with no clue, here:
So what with Ebola, that terrible Gaza stuff going on, and Toledo, Ohio's water contaminated with this Mycrocystin yuck that poisoned it ...
I decided you guys needed something different.
So I interviewed Kanye West at Meliori's --
Hibbs:
Hello, Mr. Kanye.
Kanye:
What is this? Are you disrespecting me? Is this some kind of put-down? A talking bear?
Hibbs:
A cub actually. And Captain Sam promised not to shoot you if you gave me this interview.
Kanye:
Oh ... I got compassion for little things like you. I'll do the 'view.
Kanyne (Looking around):
This place is weird. I could saw that bar in half and make things look righteous.
Hibbs:
I get sick at the sight of blood, and gunshots hurt my ears. Please don't do that.
Ah, what with things like this Ebola virus, I thought people might want to know what you think about it.
Kanye:
Like they said in Step Brothers: Never lose your dinosaur. This is the ultimate example of a person never losing his dinosaur.
Meaning that even as I grew in cultural awareness and respect and was put higher in the class system in some way for being this musician, I never lost my dinosaur.
So I would tell folks not to lose their dinosaur.
Hibbs (wrinkling his muzzle):
English isn't your first language, is it, sir?
Kanye:
You don't understand me, do you?
Hibbs:
Does anyone?
Kanye:
I don't have fangs. I'm a porcupine. I'm not a shark, I'm a blowfish. So that perfect example about me not being understood, it's like a blowfish.
People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people.
Hibbs (Scratching his head):
You say stuff like that just to give me a headache, right?
Kanye:
You're a paparazzi, aren't you?
Hibbs:
I can't even say it much less be it.
Kanye:
Celebrities are being treated like blacks were in the '60s, having no rights, and the fact that people can slander your name.
Hibbs:
I have too much trouble getting into trouble without saying lies about people ... if that is what a papa-pizza is.
Kanye:
What you need is Kim K skills. In order to win at life, you need some Kim K skills, period.
Hibbs (his head cocking):
And just exactly what is her skill set, sir?
(Kanye just looks at him) Hibbs, clearing his throat:
Ah, are you happy?
Kanye:
What makes me happy is land, and we're on a boat now. This is Christopher Columbus. This is uncharted waters we're on.
Hibbs (digging into his ears, hoping to understand better what he is hearing):
You mean this Ebola scare, right?
Kanye:
I'm totally weird, and I'm totally honest, and I'm totally inappropriate sometimes.
And the thing is, for me to say I wasn't a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.
Hibbs (muttering):
Does everyone picture duct tape over your mouth so early in the conversation?
Kanye:
Were you involved with anything last year that was as culturally significant as the Yeezus tour or that album? You just a hairy furball.
Hibbs:
I've been called worse by better. But thank you for making Ebola not seem so bad anymore.
Do you think there might be a market
for a small children's book
on new adventures of
Hibbs, the cub with no clue?
