BILL WATTERSON INTERVIEWED BY THE GHOST OF MARK TWAIN

Ghost of Mark Twain here.  What to say of Meilori's?

I will tell only of the lone jazz club in the darkest of the French Quarters alleys;

the feared tomb of many a New Orleans visitor.  It is an old and whispered-about haunt whom none remembers ever not being where it is tonight. 

I cleared my throat as old Bill warily eyed the ghostly clientel milling through Meilori's. 

"I admire you, Bill.  You had an idea, executed it, then moved on. And you ignored the clamor for more. Why is it so hard for readers to let go?"

He took a sip of his iced tea ( he told me Meilori's did not encourage one not to be at his sharpest). 

"You can’t really blame people for preferring more of what they already know and like. The trade-off, of course, is that predictability is boring. Repetition is the death of magic."

I tapped his drawing of Calvin and Hobbes as Groot and Rocket.  "Thanks for drawing this for me, Bill."

Bill made a face.  "How could I not?  You're one of the greats ... and you threatened to have the ghost of H.P. Lovecraft keep reading me bedtime stories until I did!"

"Speaking of movies, Bill, you spoke well of Pixar awhile ago.  Would you consider letting them animate your strip?"

" I have zero interest in animating Calvin and Hobbes. If you’ve ever compared a film to a novel it’s based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned.

It’s inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie’s needs get served. As a comic strip, Calvin and Hobbes works exactly the way I intended it to. There’s no upside for me in adapting it."

I scratched my moustache.  "I’m assuming you’ve gotten wind of people animating your strip for YouTube?"

Bill nodded, "Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development.

I assume they’re either homages or satiric riffs, and are not intended to be taken too seriously as works in their own right. Otherwise I should be talking to a copyright lawyer."

"Talking about lawyers, your fight over protecting Calvin and Hobbes from licensing deals, and your battle to increase the real estate for your Sunday page comic, are legend."

Bill sighed, "Just to be clear, I did not have incredible autonomy until afterward. I had signed most of my rights away in order to get syndicated, so I had no control over what happened to my own work, and I had no legal position to argue anything.

I could not take the strip with me if I quit, or even prevent the syndicate from replacing me, so I was truly scared I was going to lose everything I cared about either way.

I made a lot of impassioned arguments for why a work of art should reflect the ideas and beliefs of its creator, but the simple fact was that my contract made that issue irrelevant."

I cackled a laugh, "One story that made the rounds was that a plush toy manufacturer once delivered a box of Hobbes dolls to you unsolicited, which you promptly set ablaze.

For people like me who share your low opinion of merchandising, this is a fairly delightful story. Did it actually happen?"

"Not exactly. It was only my head that burst into flames."

I cocked my head at Bill.  "Is Calvin autobiographical?"

"Not really.

Hobbes might be a little closer to me in terms of personality, with Calvin being more energetic, brash, always looking for life on the edge.

He lives entirely in the present, and whatever he can do to make that moment more exciting he'll just let fly...and I'm really not like that at all."

I lit my cigar.  "Would it be the accurate to call Charles Schulz the major influence on you?"  

Bill nodded, "Oh yeah. As a child, especially, Peanuts and Pogo were my two biggest influences.  Schulz, in Peanuts, changed the entire face of comic strips.

Things that we now take for granted--reading the thoughts of an animal for example--there's not a cartoonist who's done anything since 1960 who doesn't owe Schulz a tremendous debt."

"You took up painting after the strip ended. Why don’t you exhibit the work, Bill?"

"My first problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release—just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.

But like with Harper Lee, my second problem is that Calvin and Hobbes created a level of attention and expectation that I don't know how to process."

I grinned crooked, "Have you ever peeled one of those stupid Calvin stickers off of a pickup truck?"

Bill sipped his tea and smiled wide. "I figure that, long after the strip is forgotten, those decals will be my ticket to immortality."

I started to fade from my chair, and Bill yelped, "Hey!  Don't go!  Who's going to get me safely out of this nightmare?"

I just chuckled and faded clean away, leaving Bill yelling, "This is NOT funny!!  Mark!  Maaaark!"

* "Rocket and Groot" by Adi Fitri
* Based in part on Mental Floss Interview with Bill Waterson:
http://mentalfloss.com/article/53216/mental-floss-exclusive-our-interview-bill-watterson

What Thea Gilmore was singing in the background at Meilori's:

WHAT IF BILL WATTERSON WANTED TO DO 3 ILLUSTRATIONS OF YOUR BOOK?

Legend has it that when Steven Spielberg called Bill Watterson to see if he wanted to make a movie, 

Bill wouldn’t even take the call.

That's reclusive.

 

PEARLS BEFORE SWINE creator, Stephan Pastis, wanted to meet with the man. 

He reached out.  Nothing.

So he penciled a strip where he won over a lady fair by claiming to draw CALVIN & HOBBES!

He emailed Bill the strip.  

(I'm impressed old Stephen had his email address!)

Bill wrote back!

Bill had a comic strip idea he wanted to run by Stephen!

 Bill said he knew that in Stephen's strip, he frequently make fun of his own art skills. 

And that Bill thought it would be funny to have poor Stephen get hit on the head or something and suddenly be able to draw. 

Then he’d step in and draw his comic strip for a few days!

AND THEN, STEPHEN SAID HE HAD 

ANOTHER IDEA!!

Bill was kind enough to go with it and the 3 strips can be found HERE, HERE, and HERE.

 

BUT IF BILL WATTERSON WANTED TO DO 3 SPECIFIC ILLUSTRATIONS FOR YOUR BOOK,

 WOULD YOU INSTEAD SUGGEST ANOTHER IDEA?

 

 

Or say STEPHEN KING wanted to write 3 specific interludes for your novel, 

WOULD YOU INSTEAD ASK HIM TO WRITE SOMETHING ELSE FOR YOU?

 I think what Stephen Pastis did and what Bill Watterson did in response says worlds of them both.

 

 

If your favorite living author wanted to collaborate with you in a specific way, would you instead suggest another?

Or would you just gratefully grab the opportunity to work with a giant?

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU ... AUTHOR AND READER

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU ...

AUTHOR AND READER.

What am I going on about now?

Exactly.

See? I've engaged your mind by my title.

I.) Just like you have to engage the mind of your reader.

A.) If you don't ...

1.) Readers will have nothing to do with their imaginations ...

2.) They become passive, restless.

3.) Finally, they grow bored, leading to ...

4.) Becoming non-readers!

B.) When you think Author/Reader think of a partnership like marriage ...

C.) Your imagination married to that of your reader's.

II.) Take characterization -

A.) If you want to really know someone :

1.) Watch what they do.

2.) Listen to what they say.

3.) Look to see if the Talk matches the Walk.

4.) If it does, that tells you something important about that person.

5.) If it doesn't, that tells you something even more important.

B.) Don't say Jill is a back-stabbing tramp, rather ...

1.) Show her best friend going to the hospital for an extended stay.

2.) Show Jill inviting her friend's husband over for a nice home-cooked meal for a change.

3.) Have Jill get the husband ...

a.) first, drunk.

b.) then in her bed.

C.) Draw the reader into making her own conclusions about your characters ...

1.) By showing the world through your character's eyes.

2.) By revealing what makes your character laugh or cry or swear.

EXAMPLE:

Maija looked down wistfully upon the unconscious teenager bound on her gold throne and smiled.

Where to maim first?

His eyes?

 

No, she wanted the boy to fully take in his surroundings: the human heads mounted on the marble walls of her throne room, the steel chains snug around his body, the hopelessness of his situation.

His impish tongue?

No, Maija wanted to hear his screams of agony and his cries for mercy.

His eyelids flickered. He was finally awakening. Good. Maija squirmed in esctasy. His torture would be such a marvelous birthday present to herself.

Victor Standish awoke, consciousness returning almost instantly. His eyes widened at the mounted human heads as he looked up at the smiling Maija. Victor drew in a breath, something dark flickering in his narrowing eyes.  His lips curled into a smirk that stole her joy.

"Who's your interior decorator," he laughed, "Stephen King?"

FOUR PARAGRAPHS:

But by their end, you know quite a lot about Maija. Her station in life. Her mindset. Her mental health. You even know a bit about Victor Standish.

Yet, I've said nothing directly about either Maija or Victor.

III.) When you present your readers with already-arrived at conclusions --

A.) You've left them with nothing to do with their minds.

B.) When you make them come to their own conclusions by DIALOGUE and ACTION

C.) You've made partners of them and the images of your characters crystalize firmly in their imaginations, taking on a life of their own.

IV.) Bore your readers and soon they'll divorce you for a more exciting, engaging partner.

A.) A few bold and subtle brushstrokes of prose on the canvas of your page ...

1.) leads your reader to fill in the rest of the scene
2.) making her a partner in your story.

B.) And it removes limitations to the depth of the characters about whom you write.

C.) Write intuitively as you go along ...

And your novel will go places that will astound both you and your happy partner in prose, the reader.
***

DARE TO GO TOO FAR!

ONLY 3 MORE DAYS TO GET YOUR FREE GIFT!

http://www.amazon.com/LET-WIND-BLOW-THROUGH-ebook/dp/B004ZZT0XE

DARE TO GO TOO FAR ...

in your book. Press the limits, push the boundaries of what you think will work, then make it work somehow.

Aren't you as a reader tired of seeing the same old thing :

shy girl goes to new school and meets a hot bad boy who turns out to be :

a werewolf, a vampire, a cross-dressing son of a mad scientist (caught you with that last one, didn't I?)

How about a tiger named Hobbes who imagines his human boy doll is alive and talks to him?

Spin the expected on its ear. You will snare bored readers, making them your loyal fans.

You can't go beyond yourself. No matter how strange your twist ... shadows who live and breathe, casting people behind them as they walk in the sun. No matter your idea, it will still have the stamp of your personality, your style of writing.

Be open to any whim drifting from your unconscious. To create means to think beyond the limits we have placed upon our muse. The mind has no boundaries. The imagination is the key to infinity ...

and to bestsellers.

A persecuted boy cracks. He climbs to the top of the school with a rifle and the school's yearbook. He starts shooting.

His persecutors? No. He shoots every nice person he knows. Why?

To spare them the hurt he knows is waiting for them as it waited for him.

BE A TROUBLE MAKER!

Break the rules. The shy girl falls in love with the vampire. His love for her turns him human. Now, his coven is out to turn them both!

Extreme is good.

The vampire was confident and kind. As a human he is sullen and snotty. The girl wants him to be a vampire again even if it means the death of innocents.

Her shyness hid her selfishness. The vampire realizes what a monster she would turn into if she becomes a vampire. He kills them both ...

as a gesture of the last remnants of his kindness.

The only rule :

everything in your novel must serve a purpose, down to the painting of the dying swan on the girl's bedroom wall.

It is what he looks at as he smothers the girl he loves. He sees not the monster she has become but the lovely, shy swan he thought her to be when he first saw her.

Everything in your novel must do double-duty.

The murder of the girl. The painting of the dying swan. Even going to the prom. The surface meaning. The meaning behind the character doing it.

Have we moved beyond the rules, beyond the boundaries of what you think possible?
***
Choose your side!

FRIENDSHIP BEATS SEX!

FRIENDSHIP BEATS SEX!

Yes. It surprised me, too.

I keep track of what countries visit me and what key words on Google led them to me.

SEX. DOMINATRIX. SEDUCTION.

They were all popular. But every day my post “WHY FRIENDSHIP?” is a magnet for visitors.

FRIENDSHIP.

We yearn for it,

For we are the Hollow People.

Science will tell you that. Inside an atom is a nucleus, composed of flying neutrons and protons.

The nucleus is orbited by electrons, travelling so fast, they seem to form a solid shell. In between them? Empty space.

Squeeze all the empty space out of each of our atoms, and we would be but a handful of dust.

Like an atom’s nucleus, many of us fly through life so fast, we project the illusion of solidity.

But like the atom’s nucleus, we are hollow.

Walk the streets of any large city and look into the eyes of those you pass. Slip through the veneer we put up to keep the predators at bay,

and you will see the hollowness of their spirits,

yearning for friendship, for connection with a kindred spirit.

To no longer be hollow.

That is why friendship plays such a large role in all of my novels, as in this scene from CREOLE KNIGHTS when Meilori’s is re-opened after Hurricane Katrina :

I was standing by the oak door and appreciating the colorful exit of the sun, off to see what the other half of the world had been up to. There was a rustle of satin cloth to my right.

I looked away from the sky and saw Sister Magda already by my side. She was one of the few people who could sneak up on me. Personally, I thought she teleported.

Looking more like Diana the Huntress than a nun, she smirked, “Teleport? Me? How far males will go to protect their prides.”

“Hello, Magda. You know there are goddesses who are envious of your beauty.”

She smiled, and it was a sight De Vinci would have been hard put to do justice to on canvas.

“I insult you, and you compliment me. Is there no end to the depths of your depravity?”

“Apparently not, since I’ve irritated the hell out of the mayor, the governor, and the President, his teeny tiny self. And I’ve not even let out a third of the secrets I know about them.”

We both laughed. Grief was an undercurrent to it. But so was a deep friendship.

I tried to ignore the grief and to lay fast to the friendship. It was a way to live. A good way I think.

Her smile faded. Mine did, too. Shit, here it came.

“I have come to talk to you of Renny.”

I sighed. “I’ve stayed away these past days. I’ll keep on being scarce.”

Her fingers lightly touched my cheek. “You are a fool.”

“I hope you’re not expecting an argument from me.”

“Do you know what keeps my Renny going?”

“Reckon I do. Your love for him and his for you.”

She sighed as if it were a wound. “That and one thing more.”

“What more could there be?”

“You believing in him. Your friendship.”

“I - I don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you are glad to see him when he comes in later tonight, that you have missed him.”

“I have missed him.”

“Then, tell him so.”

“Do you think it is such a good thing for him to come here?”

“No, it is a terrible idea. But it would be a worse one for him to stay away from his best friend.”

Her long forefinger prodded into my chest. “Can you ‘reckon’ that?”
Seeing the fire in her eyes, I forced out, “If I can’t, I’ll lie and say I can.”

***
NINE DAYS LEFT!
***

WHAT YOU SAY?

What am I going on about now?

Exactly.

Dialogue ... in our novels to be exact.

The best words are actions, of course. But that doesn't mean your significant other doesn't want to hear the words. "I love you."

In the cartoon above Calvin doesn't say he trusts and loves his mother. His actions show it.

But you and I both know she'd probably like to hear it from him sometime.

I.) Good dialogue is essential in our novels if we want to succeed.

A.) What is good, "draw in the reader" dialogue?

B.) It is not actual speech.

1.) we pause.

2.) we drift

3.) we stray or become confused and stammer.

C.) It is not the State of the Union Address either.

1.) No blunt instrument of prose

2.) No chunky, thick paragraphs.

D.) It is a reflection of real speech :

1.) It is the distillation of actual speech

2.) Think of it as a pruned bonzai tree of real conversation.

III.) We interrupt each other

1.) People break into the words of the other or plain talk over one another in a "listen to me now" barrage of words.

2.) No taking polite turns in real life.

3.) So aim to have the other person respond to the other character after every line.

4.) It won't always be possible, but you should never let a person talk for more than 3 lines.

5.) Why?

6.) Never tire the eye of the reader (especially the already tired eye of the agent!)

III.) Good dialogue reveals the character of the person talking

A.) Surface message reveals

B.) The intent of the speaker.

IV.) Good dialogue reveals the inner heart and mind of the speaker while moving the story forward at the same time.

V.) Good dialogue gets to the gut level of the character speaking, defining her experience of what is going on around her and her reactions to it.

A.) Having your character's every other line questioned or reacted to by another ...

1.) creates a deeper, more dramatic story.

2.) creates more complex, more "real" characters.

3.) drawing the reader into believing the reality of your fictive world.

B.) You don't have to get this exact in your draft.

1.) Leonard da Vinci sketched the bold outline of his complete image in bold sweeps at first.

2.) He later refined and added depth after the whole composition was sketched on his canvas.

3.) That is what you do with your prose canvas.

4.) Trying to get your dialogue spot-on in the draft will only end up blocking you up.

VI.) Good dialogue requires rewriting.

A.) Rewriting in dialogue is cutting.

B.) Think of it as going on a word diet.

1.) Cut out every word you can do without as you would calories.

2.) Cut out going back for dessert :

3.) No seconds for your favorite words and phrases. One to a conversation.

C.) Read aloud your dialogue

1.) Listen to the rhythm of the interplay between the characters.

2.) Each character should have their own distinct rhythm of talking.

3.) Each character should have their own distinct way of expressing themselves.

a.) their favorite words and phrases should be different than the others in the conversation.

b.) their differing mindsets, educational background, their prejudices, their passions should mold their words into being distinctive to themselves.

VII.) Doing all that will make your conversations in your novel seem real, drawing the reader into becoming immersed into your story, perhaps even having them feel that the moment is actually happening.

What did George Bernard Shaw say of an irritating actress at a party? "The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech."
***
And now, just because I wanted to hear it again :

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO DANCE

No. Not about the sales for THE BEAR WITH TWO SHADOWS.

http://www.amazon.com/BEAR-TWO-SHADOWS-ebook/dp/B004MDLWD0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1297477317&sr=1-1

I'm not saying they're low, but poor Hibbs is having a case of the bends!

But it takes time for momentum to build in ebook sales I'm told.

No, this morning I awoke coughing, feeling terrible with a relapse of that terrible cold that has been going around.

I opened my email box and found :

The Legend of Victor Standish Friday, February 11, 2011 7:20 AM


Hi,

While browsing online recently, I came across the pitch for your YA novel.—It sounded most intriguing! I’m most not sure where you’re at in the process, but at whatever point the book is finished and ready to go, I would love for you to send me your query and the first 5 pages to consider.

Have a great day,

{Agent who does not accept unsolicited queries}

Now, I don't post this to do the Calvin and Hobbes Happy Dance (well, maybe a little) but to say to all of my blog friends out there :

You never know who is browsing online.

I believe the agent browsed on this particular post :

http://rolandyeomans.blogspot.com/2011/02/but-first-things-first-michael-di-gesu.html

The general agreement among blog experts is that no one gets a request from a top-notch agent from said agent just dropping by and liking what she sees.

Sometimes the experts are wrong.

And sometimes you just have to dance.

***

Now, for something that a grown-up Calvin might do for laughs :

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU ... AUTHOR AND READER

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU ...

AUTHOR AND READER.

What am I going on about now?

Exactly.

See? I've engaged your mind by my title.

I.) Just like you have to engage the mind of your reader.

A.) If you don't ...

1.) Readers will have nothing to do with their imaginations ...

2.) They become passive, restless.

3.) Finally, they grow bored, leading to ...

4.) Becoming non-readers!

B.) When you think Author/Reader think of a partnership like marriage ...

C.) Your imagination married to that of your reader's.

II.) Take characterization -

A.) If you want to really know someone :

1.) Watch what they do.

2.) Listen to what they say.

3.) Look to see if the Talk matches the Walk.

4.) If it does, that tells you something important about that person.

5.) If it doesn't, that tells you something even more important.

B.) Don't say Jill is a back-stabbing tramp, rather ...

1.) Show her best friend going to the hospital for an extended stay.

2.) Show Jill inviting her friend's husband over for a nice home-cooked meal for a change.

3.) Have Jill get the husband ...

a.) first, drunk.

b.) then in her bed.

C.) Draw the reader into making her own conclusions about your characters ...

1.) By showing the world through your character's eyes.

2.) By revealing what makes your character laugh or cry or swear.

EXAMPLE :

Maija looked down wistfully upon the unconscious teenager bound on her gold throne and smiled.

Where to maim first?

His eyes? No, she wanted the boy to fully take in his surroundings : the human heads mounted on the marble walls of her throne room, the steel chains snug around his body, the hopelessness of his situation.

His impish tongue?

No, Maija wanted to hear his screams of agony and his cries for mercy.

His eyelids flickered. He was finally awakening. Good. Maija squirmed in esctasy. His torture would be such a marvelous birthday present to herself.

Victor Standish awoke, consciousness returning almost instantly. His eyes widened at the mounted human heads as he looked up at the smiling Maija. His smirk stole her joy.

"Who's your interior decorator," he laughed, "Stephen King?"

FOUR PARAGRAPHS :

But by their end, you know quite a lot about Maija. Her station in life. Her mindset. Her mental health. You even know a bit about Victor Standish.

Yet, I've said nothing directly about either Maija or Victor.

III.) When you present your readers with already-arrived at conclusions --

A.) You've left them with nothing to do with their minds.

B.) When you make them come to their own conclusions by DIALOGUE and ACTION

C.) You've made partners of them and the images of your characters crystalize firmly in their imaginations, taking on a life of their own.

IV.) Bore your readers and soon they'll divorce you for a more exciting, engaging partner.

A.) A few bold and subtle brushstrokes of prose on the canvas of your page ...

1.) leads your reader to fill in the rest of the scene
2.) making her a partner in your story.

B.) And it removes limitations to the depth of the characters about whom you write.

C.) Write intuitively as you go along ...

And your novel will go places that will astound both you and your happy partner in prose, the reader.
***

WRITE LIKE PEOPLE WERE LISTENING

It is a magical world like Calvin says.

But often our prose is not magical ... it's murderous.

We have so much we want to say that sometimes it just tumbles forth onto the page

in great chunks of blocky sentences becoming an avalanche of numbing paragraphs.

1.) Write like someone is listening ... not reading.

a.) You wouldn't go up to a person and say :

"Although the complexities of stintilating prose can be easily comprehended, they are often misunderstood by today's beginning writers."

b.) Why not?

1.) People would stop listening almost at once, their eyes glazing over.

2.) We would bewilder them with blunt instruments of prose.

3.) We would bore them ... and we never want to bore an agent or potential buyer of our prose!

SOLUTION : Write short, easily understood sentences with equally short words. As in a more digestible sentence : "Writing riveting prose is easily understood if taught correctly."

SOLUTION : Read your work aloud, page by page. You will hear flaws you never thought you'd written.

Print out your work. Look at the page. Is it filled with two huge, impossibly long paragraphs? Break them up into easier to digest paragraphs and sentences.

SOLUTION : Never play "Hide and Seek" with the subject of your sentence.

1.) Be upfront with your subject, not putting rows of rail cars in front of your locomotive.

2.) No corollary things about your subject first.

3.) Get to your subject as quickly as you can in your sentence.

NOT : Heavily burdened by accepting the huge debts of Fannie Mae, the U.S. Treasury is reaching critical financial mass.

BUT : The U.S. Treasury faces bankruptcy due to its accepting trillions of dollars of debt from Fannie Mae.

EXCEPTION : When you want to build tension or expectation :

"Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound -- Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird; it's a plane. No, it's Superman!"

The writer had a reason to withhold the subject. The subject is the punchline.

THAT is my short lesson in writing better. Now, go out and play in the snow.
***