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PROMPT: MOVING ON
PROMPT: MOVING ON
ONE:
I KNOW I AM NOT LOST
{589 words}
I
looked out the motel room’s window into the dying night. I could sense the Badlands out there calling
to me. I remembered wandering alone out
there last century. There had been a
living silence to that distant desert night.
Pilots
call the Badlands barren, dry, and rugged.
It only seems that way from the airplane’s cockpit. Its best parts are just spaced out some over
place and time. I was lost in that time
for a heartbeat to the moment in my walking to what folks called civilization. That night had been so quiet and still I
heard the rustle made by the wings of ravens as they flew overhead … at least I
told myself they were ravens.
I
remember glancing down and realizing that I was standing in enormous dinosaur
tracks. Feet dead over 140 million years
ago made those impressions. Those huge
reptile kings thought their reign would never end. Reigns always do. I could bring to mind the taste of those pine
nuts I crunched for a midnight snack on that long ago walkabout. The nuts, of course, could not nourish
me. I fed off of different … food.
The
Badlands weren’t as remote as they once were.
Maybe no place was remote anymore … except maybe the soul of a man to
himself.
The
Badlands had seen a lot of human traffic for all its remoteness these past
thousand years: Anasazi, Ute, Navaho, and Lakota Indians. Then, there had been conquistadors, Mormon settlers,
Gold prospectors, and now Hollywood film crews.
Everybody passing through leaves a mark … and the Badlands replies in
kind.
The
weather extremes are drastic: Drought and downpour. 105 degrees in the August shade and 10
degrees in January’s bright sunlight. A
spell of dust storms is capped by a week of icy gales. Wildflowers in spring and aspen trees in fall
seem poor reward for black widow bites, the sting of a rattler’s fangs, and
even flies that bite.
Yet,
I loved the Badlands. There is something
here that renews my spirit when New Orleans has all but drained it. It is the land. Each of us is a tuning fork for some kind of
locale. I was born in the open country
of the West Texas of 1799 and spent my first fifteen years there. I spent the happiest days of my life on
horseback, evading Comanches and hunting the deer that fed my family.
I
lost my family … my innocence. I found
my … destiny in the Pajarito Mountains of Sonora. I became one of the first Texas Rangers.
Though
I still wore the Silver Star on the underside of my coat lapel, I didn’t fool
myself into thinking I was still a Texas Ranger. But I am most comfortable under the wide
skies of wild country and in the sprawl of raw desert. It’s where I go when I am unsettled, confused,
or bruised of heart. New Orleans does
that to me quite often. My wife,
Meilori, does it even more. She wasn’t
speaking to me … again.
It’s
enough to be in stark places like the Badlands of South Dakota, to be alone
awhile in a place where all I can hear is the lonely wind blowing, where all I
can see is the earth stretching all around me into the far distant
mountains. I look up into the wide
embrace of the endless night. Life sings
to me again, and I know I am not lost.




