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Monday, February 17, 2014

I AM FACING DISFIGURING CANCER SURGERY THIS 19TH

 
Morning of the Surgery:
 
I am just leaving for the clinic.
 
My friend and supervisor, Freddie, who saved me when someone
siphoned the gas from my car
as Hurricane Rita (category 5) had emptied the city.
 
He is driving me to the clinic and will drive me back home
after hours of surgery.
 
Imagine the uplift I got when I read this on Alex Cavanaugh's blog:
 
"Our good friend Roland Yeomans is undergoing surgery today for cancer. Please keep him in your prayers this week. Since Roland is also struggling with the funds for this surgery, Sean McLachlan suggested a Buy-A-Thon for his books.
 
I’ve read several of Roland’s books and highly recommend following the adventures of one Victor Standish. Visit Roland’s author page on Amazon to see a complete listing of his eBooks and audio books. If you’ve never read any of Roland’s work, now is a great time to do so!"
 
To D.G. Shelly, Lara and all the rest of you who have left prayers, love, and support in emails, tweets, and on this post:
 
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH & MAY THE FATHER BE THERE FOR YOU ALWAYS.
 

It's not a matter of IF ...

     It's only a matter of WHEN.

        We will face an inescapable situation whose outcome will be highly unpleasant, permanent, and perhaps fatal.



What do we do then?

 
 
I lived filled with stiffling fear on the streets of Detroit as a six year old.  I survived.
 
I lived on the hopeless dark streets of post-Katrina New Orleans.  I survived.
 
All whom I loved have died.  My home burned to the ground, killing my pets.  My business died. 

I have been forcibly evacuated from my city twice by hurricanes, going I knew not where or how I would survive.
 
I survived.
 
 
Not because of my bravery or wit.
 
The Father saw me through.

 

 
 
It is the attitude we take during a storm
that determines
whether we sink or swim.
 
 
 
I am alone in this.  I am not alone.
 
The door of Death and Disaster is One-Person-Wide ... for everyone. 
 
No one has the right to whine over something that happens to everyone.
 
If the cancer is not too extensive, I will need skin grafts.  It will probably not be done at the time of the MOHS surgery.
 
The surgeon is much too busy to talk with me before the 19th ... as is his nurse. 
 
This does not fill me with confidence over my treatment by them ... but the surgeon is the only one in the city to do this.
 
The cancers has been eating away for years.  I have to deal with the two locations on my face now.
 
This video I found on YouTube has told me what to expect.  Do not watch if you are queasy:
 
 
 
When we are faced with the inescapable, we simply have to deal with it the best we know how ...
 
trying to do so with grace, kindness, patience, and a modicum of good humor.
 
 
And after I do that, I will establish world peace.  :-)
 
 
My choices, my attitudes, my path have placed me here with no one to be by my side physically. 
 
Yet, I know from my past that the Father is always with me.
 
If you pray, pray for me.  If you do not, think healing thoughts my way come the 19th.
 
Even before my home burned to the ground, this was the song I thought of as MY song:
 
 

53 comments:

  1. You know I will be praying for you!
    The surgery is this Wednesday?
    As a man you may face it alone, but God is always with you. You've survived worse. God will get you through.

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  2. I'm sure you have read the scriptures that offer peace, and have been told by others that God will heal you. I can only offer my prayers, and friendship.

    “I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they'll 'say something about it' or not. I hate if they do, and if they don't.”
    ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

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  3. My heart and my good wishes are with you. Tomorrow (it is Tuesday here) and always.
    Hugs.

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  4. Take care and know that many thoughts are with you. In His name, I pray for your healing.
    erica

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  5. What?!?! :-( What!??!

    Oh my goodness! :-(

    I am so sorry to read this. No, I'm too in shock to take this all in. What?!

    Don't be alone - please. Have someone with you, someone must be with you! Good grief. And take care, and shake that fist of defiance at this evil evil disease. :-( No need to be brave either. This is crazy.

    Sending you all the positive light and love and strength of the universe and of Gypsy's spirit! Just don't be alone. Please take care
    x

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  6. Any facial problems that result can be taken care of later. Cross that river when you have to.

    Healing energies and best wishes for you, Roland. We will be here when and if you want to talk about a tough time. We each have to deal with life events as they occur. It helps if you have friends who care, and if you keep thinking of how this is just another one of those things to be gotten through, as Frost says.

    Drink your fave drink and be like McCord, he fears but he's always game for a challenge, too.

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  7. We humans do have a tendency to keep surviving. I hope everything goes well on the 19th.

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  8. My Grandad is also having risky surgery on Wednesday-I will be thinking of you both. You've been through such a lot, I really feel for you. I hope that you remain strong and recover quickly. There will be a lot of bloggers keeping you in their thoughts.

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  9. Alex:
    That is what I meant when I said I was alone/I was not alone.

    Thanks for the support.

    David:
    Your prayers are not an "only" they are the "best." :-)

    C.S. Lewis had a way with words and with faith.

    Elephant's Child:
    Knowing that your heart is pulling for me will help the 19th.

    Erica:
    He is, after all, the Great Physician. And the road ahead is one we all must walk in some fashion, right?

    Kitty:
    I may look alone that day, but there will be a Presence with me, murmuring strength and comfort. Thanks for your grief on my part. It means a lot.

    D.G.:
    Life has its twists and turns. Somehow we make it through if we just deal with what is.

    You're right: deal with the challenges of today and leave the ones of tomorrow for the next sunrise. :-)

    J E:
    Thanks for the good thoughts.

    Tizzy:
    I will be saying Large Prayers for your grandfather.

    Richard:
    Being conscious through it all is gnawing at me. But we all must deal with the inevitable with good grace, courage, and hopefully a little humor.

    I wonder if they will let me take my Teddy Bear with me? :-)

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  10. Take your teddy bear, for sure. Is he called Hibbs?

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  11. D.G.:
    I have a fun story: a cyber-friends who wants to remain nameless made a furry hand puppet of Hibbs, the cub with no clue. She sent it to me, and I have him sitting on top of the TV that I seldom watch these days.

    I think the doctor would frown on Hibbs in my arms. Though being conscious during the three hour procedure, I will certainly be in need of comfort!!

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  12. You are definitely in my prayers, Roland. Your spirit is strong. You will survive this. But it's okay to be afraid as cancer is a scary, horrible thing. Sorry, you can't take your teddy bear into the OR, only our prayers and positive thoughts.

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  13. Kittie:
    Hibbs is happy to hear from you that I can't take him. He's scared of the sight of blood!

    I will gladly take your prayers and positive thoughts into the OR.

    Gee, I really hate the idea of being conscious through the whole thing. Isn't that silly?

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  14. I'm praying, Roland and sending you hugs.

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  15. Be brave Roland. I hope you come through the surgery and are able to endure the skin grafting. Looks horrible. So sorry this has happened to you.

    .......dhole

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  16. Shelly:
    Thank you so much for both the prayers and hugs.

    Donna:
    Yeah, it does look horrible, doesn't it? Life doesn't ask permission. Maybe I will start wearing a mask.

    The ghost of Mark Twain reminds me that there can be no courage without fear and if I can manage to find humor in this affiar, I will find some measure of inner strength.

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  17. It may be a cliche, but it's true: what doesn't kill us us can either make us stronger or make us bitter. I know you well enough to know you won't tolerate bitterness. Your strength will see you through. And if you feel your resolve weakening, remember you're not alone. We're here for you, Roland.

    VR Barkowski

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  18. Thank you, VR:
    I am going to call the doctor's office tomorrow to see if I can pry any concrete info on what to do beforehand, what to expect during the procedure, and what to expect afterwards.

    As Hibbs says, "What doesn't kill us must have missed!" :-)

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  19. Roland ...

    You are always in my thoughts and prayers... I visited the shrine of Mother Cabrini when I first found out about it.

    I will visit again tomorrow for you and ask for her healing powers for you.

    I understand how you feel. When I was hit by that cyclist in the head and face over the summer, and had over twenty stitches sewn... I freaked. My face was my fortune for many years of my life. Yes, I was scared, but thankfully they are fading and very few notice now. SO I KNOW...

    The skin heals and like DG said there are treatments that you may be able to have later on. Arrest the cancer first. THAT is the most important! TAKE CARE....

    I have to fly back to Florida to redo my lasik that had complications... BUT I will send positive vibes your while I'm flying... I'll be closer to heaven...

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  20. I will be praying for you. And please remember that your body was designed to heal, and healing treatments are always in the works.

    Please insist that your doctor talk to you before the surgery. If necessary, casually drop the name of a famous local lawyer (my mother has found that one works like a charm).

    And with a soul as beautiful as yours, you will never be truly disfigured.

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  21. I will be thinking about you Roland. Stay strong and positive.

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  22. Take care, Roland, and see you back on this blog in a couple of weeks. That's an order!

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  24. Praying for you, now an on the 19th. I, too, love Fernando Ortega's music-

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  25. I'm praying for you now and will send healing thoughts tomorrow. I love the quote. Most of us who are blessed with long lives, go through so much, but we go through it, we come out on the other side, and know we have survived.

    I know you will survive with grace and dignity because I already, after a short friendship, know you have a beautiful soul. That will see you through.

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  26. I will pray for you, Roland. Though I know you are a strong person and have been through much in your life, no person can face this without the support of others. Stay strong.

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  27. I'm so sorry for what you are going through, Roland. Hugs and many good thoughts sent your way.

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  28. Roland, I am so sorry to hear you're going throughs this. I just said a prayer for you. You are definitely NOT alone. Yes, our Father is with us, guiding our paths and strengthening our souls. He's with you today for sure. Also, WE are here with you, praying and virtually holding your hand.

    Take care...

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  29. Oh Roland, I regret I didn't stop by sooner. I hope you read this before going in, though I have nothing profound to say. I have been praying extra hard for you, knowing your surgery was coming up. I didn't realize it's today. In by inch, breath by breath. May you feel all the love, strength of others, with God, helping lift you through.

    xoRobyn

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  30. Hi Roland .. you've been through so much and now this: the surgery looks unpleasant, yet hopeful ... I am thinking of you and will continue to do so ...

    You have positive energy and will encourage others to help you through ... be with you ... share their time with you ...

    I'm listening to YOUR song .. and will afterwards go and read the words through ... all the very best - Hilary

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  31. Praying that the peace of God will rule in your heart and that the surgeon's hands will be skillful.

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  32. Healing thoughts, good vibes--all of it coming your way. You are a strong, beautiful person and it comes through in all of your posts.

    All the best, Roland.

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  33. Hi, Roland,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope the surgery is a complete success. As you've said, we can deal with anything with a good attitude in place and God by our side.

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  34. {{{hugs}}} to you Roland. My prayers are with you.

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  35. Roland, I'll keep you in my thoughts. I wish you a quick and complete recovery. Hugs.

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  36. There is light at the end of the tunnel so keep believing in the power of God, Roland. I admire your bravery in telling us about your ordeal. You are courageous.

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  37. I hope everything went okay, Roland.
    I sent prayers earlier. Thinking of you. God bless.

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  39. 'The best way out is always through.' Very apt quote. My prayers and thoughts are with you today, Roland.

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  40. So sorry to hear this. I don't pray, but sending you positive energies. Best wishes for a good outcome. My mother (a cancer survivor) used to say that no-one could disfigure her spirit. Take care.

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  41. I hope you are feeling a bit better today having weathered the brunt of the storm. MOH's is the good kind of surgery that gets the skin cancer and leaves as much good skin as possible. I'm glad you had it done that way. You will make it through this and it might even inspire some more amazing stories. Blessings.

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  42. I do hope today is a much better day! Nilanjana said it best 'cancer cannot disfigure your spirit!'

    Prayers and positive thoughts sent your way!

    And I was feeling bad because a head full of luxurious thick hair is now but a few strands. Thank you for reminding me to count my blessings!

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  43. This is the first time I've been blog visiting this week so I missed this post and Alex's on Monday. I am praying that your surgery went well and for your recovery.

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  44. Roland-I just learned of this today--I hope it all went well and am sending you very best wishes and karma for a full and speedy recovery and a complete banishment of the cancer.

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  45. I'll be praying for you. You can get through this!

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  46. Hope this day is better than yesterday. Know that each passing day will get better. You'll grow stronger. The pain will fade. As you said above, you're a survivor. Sending you all my best.

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  47. Roland you are in my prayers! Please know you are missed and we all are thinking of you~

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