Haiku to you from me,
ghost of Samuel Clemens.
http://hatshepsutnovel.blogspot.com/2010/08/announcing-haiku-blogfest.html
For part II of this shingdig, I thought I'd give you four more of Roland's haiku's
which are written in the Word Lune style (the split is 3/5/3 words not syllables) :
Meilori quotes three haiku poems at different times when she believes Samuel dead in RITES OF PASSAGE :
1.)
"Black moon watches,
Questions bleed from my heart,
Stars keep silent."
{Ghost of Samuel Clemens here. I think the Word Lune style is plumb looney. The bejiggered thing would sound much better like this :
"Black Moon watches,
Questions bleed from my heart,
The stars have no answers."}
2.)
"Night seas murmur,
My arms are empty, cold,
You are gone."
{Yep, it's me again, ghost of Samuel Clemens. This Looney style is killing me. Wouldn't this sound better?
"The sea kisses the night,
My arms are empty,
You are gone."
{All right, I was never one for following the rules of anything. But being as I'm the beloved literary genius here, I declare my Zombie Haiku's to be better. (I call them Zombie Haiku's 'cause they've got more brass than brains.) So there!
But even I couldn't improve on Roland's last one.}
3.)
Whispers of wind
Sigh in the listening sky,
Love has died.
Here is one Samuel McCord writes to his love, Meilori Shinseen, in ADRIFT IN THE TIME STREAM
(understand that being a Texas Ranger, poor Samuel writes terrible poetry and doesn't follow the rules any better than me -- but he is in love -- and well, you know how that goes.) :
4.)
"Your eyes drink mine,
The sea drifts by,
Both the same green."
***
Now to something truly horrendous : Zombie Haiku's. We ghosts get so bored, we'll read anything -- even comic books.
I found a great one published by Marvel Comics and written by Ryan Mecum :
ghost of Samuel Clemens.
http://hatshepsutnovel.blogspot.com/2010/08/announcing-haiku-blogfest.html
For part II of this shingdig, I thought I'd give you four more of Roland's haiku's
which are written in the Word Lune style (the split is 3/5/3 words not syllables) :
Meilori quotes three haiku poems at different times when she believes Samuel dead in RITES OF PASSAGE :
1.)
"Black moon watches,
Questions bleed from my heart,
Stars keep silent."
{Ghost of Samuel Clemens here. I think the Word Lune style is plumb looney. The bejiggered thing would sound much better like this :
"Black Moon watches,
Questions bleed from my heart,
The stars have no answers."}
2.)
"Night seas murmur,
My arms are empty, cold,
You are gone."
{Yep, it's me again, ghost of Samuel Clemens. This Looney style is killing me. Wouldn't this sound better?
"The sea kisses the night,
My arms are empty,
You are gone."
{All right, I was never one for following the rules of anything. But being as I'm the beloved literary genius here, I declare my Zombie Haiku's to be better. (I call them Zombie Haiku's 'cause they've got more brass than brains.) So there!
But even I couldn't improve on Roland's last one.}
3.)
Whispers of wind
Sigh in the listening sky,
Love has died.
Here is one Samuel McCord writes to his love, Meilori Shinseen, in ADRIFT IN THE TIME STREAM
(understand that being a Texas Ranger, poor Samuel writes terrible poetry and doesn't follow the rules any better than me -- but he is in love -- and well, you know how that goes.) :
4.)
"Your eyes drink mine,
The sea drifts by,
Both the same green."
***
Now to something truly horrendous : Zombie Haiku's. We ghosts get so bored, we'll read anything -- even comic books.
I found a great one published by Marvel Comics and written by Ryan Mecum :
These were so very good Roland! I love the line your eyes drink mine...very chilling even if we're not talking about zombies. Well done!
ReplyDeleteRenae : Thanks. While I wasn't looking, the ghost of Samuel Clemens tampered with my haiku's, declaring his to be better, though rule breakers -- but then he always broke the rules, literary and otherwise. And Meilori is more fearsome than any Zombie.
ReplyDeleteWow. These are really great. I'm having to reform my opinion about haiku. Again, you've managed to infuse such deep meaning and emotion into yours; they're beautiful. I may toy with the form sometime, but I imagine it takes lots of forethought and discipline to do it well...
ReplyDeleteBTW: I like your originals better, well done. And the video-was strange :)
Roland, these are really good. I tip my hat to you! I've tried haiku, but couldn't sew the tee shirt together.
ReplyDeleteWell done! I really like them all, especially the first and fourth ones.
ReplyDeleteHi Roland - My favorite line was "The sea kisses the night . . . They were all so good, but that one really jumped out at me. All lovely. Best xoxo
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! No 2, Version 1, is absolutely my favourite!!
ReplyDeleteI have no talent for haiku but you seem to have more than ample! Excellent job.
ReplyDeleteNo. 4 is great. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI never figured out Clemens to be a rebel but here he is giving his own versions of haikus!! I like both Roland's and Samuel's though - both versions are very evocative but with their own subtleties.
ReplyDeleteTake care
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