So you can read my books

Sunday, December 11, 2011

JOHN LOCKE … fake or sincere?

I walked up to Captain Sam’s table where Alice, my ghoul friend, was lost in a book.

I asked, “What’re you reading?”

Alice looked up absently, “This system by John Locke to sell millions of Kindle books. I want to discern if there is any merit to it so as to help Roland.”

{ }

Her British accent sent tingles through me, but I was Victor Standish, and I don’t let girls know they’re getting to me. But her Mona Lisa smile said I was only fooling myself.

And talking about fooling, I said, “Oh, I read that last night for the same reason. Boy, Old John must have pretty broad shoulders.”

Alice frowned, “Why do you say that?”

“From the way the guy kept patting himself on the back all the time. ‘I have made 3 separate fortunes. My posts are timeless, forever relevant. I write 7,000 words a day when I write a novel. I have the system guaranteed to make you a success. My snake oil will make you live forever.”

Alice frowned like an angry librarian. “He wrote no such thing.”

“Yeah, but he probably will next week.”

Alice sighed as if at a dim-wit (and no snide comments from you guys out there!)

She sighed, “I have read where this Amanda Hocking, herself a Kindle wonder, said that it is more likely a Kindle author will only sell less than a 100 copies of their eBooks – not anywhere close to a 100,000.”

I sat down beside Alice. “Yeah, but she’s not hawking a “How To” book for $10 a pop either. I mean, look – he’s made $20 just from the two of us.”

Alice puckered her pretty lips. “But he’s sold so many books.”

“Yeah, but have you looked at the covers? Sex sells. Even if they’re only sexy legs.”

Alice glared at me. “And just how do you know what the covers look like, Mr. Standish?”

“Hey, he’s got them plastered at the top of his blog.{}

That guy sure knows how to manipulate :

soft-soaping poor people on Twitter to be his shills;

writing only what he thinks will sell, not what’s in his heart;

singing the praises of sport and sick Hollywood greats, then twittering those legends’ fans with a link to his blog.”

Alice looked troubled. “You are not a mind-reader, Victor. Mr. Locke may be sincere.”

“Yeah, maybe. But I’ve lived on the streets all my life and had to fend off panhandlers that whole time. When a deal sounds too good to be true, it ain’t.”

“Isn’t,” chuckled Captain Sam as he sat down beside me.

“I’ve read his book for the same reason you two did. So that makes $30 he’s made just from this table. Still, he did have a sound idea or three. Maybe lightning just struck as it sometimes does. Or his system does works. Time reveals the truth eventually.”

Alice cocked her head, blonde waves becoming a waterfall. “But what of all the people who will follow Mr. Locke’s system in the mean time?”

Captain Sam smiled sad. “Sometimes faith will heal you even if the pill you swallow is sugar.”



  1. Interesting post. I must say I've never read anything of Locke's, although that how-to book title just smacks of trumpet blowing.

    And love that last line! Yes, amazing what a little bit of faith, trust and fairy dust can do! :)

  2. My publisher suggested I read his book and I did. (Think the eBook is only five bucks.) He really didn't do anything revolutionary, he just had a lot of time to devote to it. And he was already a successful businessman.
    After reading his book I laughed. I'm doing it in reverse - focusing on blogging rather than Twittering. Then again, after what happened with my book this fall, it must be working.
    I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

  3. I am counting on sex selling. And I'm so tired of well meaning family members telling me about how so-and-so made millions with self publishing.
    Not to dismiss self publishing, just dismissing the legends surrounding it.

  4. J.C. :
    I read the eBook version of his HOW TO book. I could see the echoes of his insurance salesman background in his words. I firmly believe in the bumblee principle : according to the "laws" of aerodynamics, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly. But no one told the bumblebees that! So they just fly! LOL.

    Alex :
    I am in awe of how many blogs you visit and comment on. With my blood courier job, I cannot possibly visit and comment as much as you do. So I am hoping my contest with its thousands of dollars of prizes will help me there. The two Charles Schultz autographs alone are worth $3000 not to mention the JK Rowling autograph! Wish me luck, and I will wish you continued success with your 2nd novel!

    Erin :
    Sex does sell. Look at the long-legged covers to John Locke's books! In my own THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH, I have lesbian lovers, dangerous supernatural loves, and a romance between a vampire priest and a gypsy nun! TRUE BLOOD watch out!

  5. Ha, Roland, I like the way you dealt with this. I'm not going to spend $5 on it now, lol!


  6. Denise :
    I tried to be even-handed and entertaining about John Locke. And who better to make you laugh but the sniping duo, Alice & Victor? And who better to be the voice of reason than their mentor, Samuel McCord? Glad you liked it.

    I just believe lightning strikes where it will. We just have to be prepared with the best possible product if it should ever strike us! LOL.

  7. I won't comment on Mr Locke as I know nothing more about him than the stories I've heard. I will say that if I had the money to spare I'd rather buy a book that helps me write than one that helps me sell.

  8. Hi Roland .. I've been 'saving' your posts! To get to comment on one or two .. slow but sure eventually I get here ..

    I think he's probably patting himself on the back for being 'so clever' .. but we can all do it too - if we put our minds to it .. and I'm sure some of the lessons he puts out we can utilise ..

    Cheers and I hope you don't have too many BLOOD RUNS .. though I suspect you'll have plenty - hope you can get some peace and quiet at some stage during this season of hope for a happy future .. look after yourself .. with thoughts - Hilary