So you can read my books

Monday, December 9, 2013


The ghost of Mark Twain stepped out on Meilori’s stage.

“I come not to praise Caesar, ah, Lee Bird but to bash him.  Bash him about like a juggler in his fancy brown jacket tossing up crystal birds.
‘Course if they were live birds, he might have started out with a fine white jacket like mine!”

Mark lit a cigar.  “Look at this here picture of Lee as a juggler.

Underneath it you could put the caption: “You know maybe I should have trained for this before I walked out here.”

“Some folks praise Lee for starting the A to Z Challenge.  Why the man only did it ‘cause he flat ran out of ideas for his own posts

and thought he could swipe some of yours, don’t you know?  Now, folks ask me if a post by Lee Bird is worth two in the bush.”

Mark blew out a smoke ring.  “Well, if you’re talking the Australian Bush, it sure is!  Those dang kangaroos are a tough audience!”

“Now, if any of you out there dream you are a juggler like Lee Bird, and you happen to wear false teeth,

you might not like what you see when you open your eyes.  But I must be off.  I’m auditioning to play Lee in the documentary of his life! Who better?
{220 words}

(Combining the 80 words for the 4 questions, the 100 words for the flash fiction, and the 40 words allowed for the caption.)


  1. I'm a big Mark Twain fan, but seriously did my brother write this? Sounds like things my brother Jay Bird would say.

    "Meilori's stage"? I like how you snuck the book plug in there. Nice marketing move.

    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out

  2. Arlee:
    I didn't mean mentioning Meilori's as a marketing move. It was a way of being able to get the ghost of Mark Twain to do your roast! I had heard you were a Mark Twain fan and thought you would get a kick out of him being part of your tribute.

    Meilori's has gotten to be a part of the essence of my blog.

    I'm glad you liked this post. Your brother Jay sounds like he and Mark would get along. :-)

  3. Nothing wrong with marketing! Be sure to check out the announcement we'll be making next Monday. You may enjoy what's coming.

    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out

  4. Very Interesting Twist!!
    Yes, Arlee the Twain!!
    Good one
    Best Regardss

  5. LOL!

    What a fun way of doing CheersFest, Roland.

    You win 2,308 bonus points (but please don't spend them in one Mark Twain store :)

  6. I knew I had to come here for the Cheersfest... I thank you for a great twist as always. I am going to be sharing this story today, you are the master!

  7. You certainly pulled out the big guns (Mr Twain is a big gun!) for Lee's roasting today. :)

  8. Kangaroos are a tough audience. I've seen Crocodile Dundee and know that some of them even carry guns.
    Great entry, Roland! Thanks for participating in CheersFest.

  9. Great work my friend!
    Twain could do it all!

  10. I knew I would be entertained. What an exceptional way to Lee with and exceptional host. Nobody does it better than Samuel.

  11. Who better than Mark Twain, indeed! Your creativity with this post is most impressive.

  12. What a perfect pairing, Mark Twain cuts to the chase, just like Lee. Nice entry, Roland!

    Meilori's is the place to be and I rather like using one's characters and settings in other situations. Fantasy, and fun.

    Hope Lee enjoys, he's only being gently roasted so far.

  13. Unique presentation, Roland. Great job.

  14. Arlee:
    I'll be there. Thanks for coming back and relieving my mind. :-)

    P V:
    Lee's reputation may never be the same if Mark Twain is chosen to play him!

    Samuel Clemens took all the points, cackling all the way back into the mists of Meilori's. He's happy you enjoyed his performance.

    You are too kind. The ghost of Mark Twain says the genius is all his!

    Trisha F:
    Mark Twain "humbly" says your perception is clear about his greatness. He's modest like that. :-)

    And they box rough, too! I love that scene in Crocidile Dundee. I'm happy you got a smile out of this.

    His ghost says he still can! Modest spirit that he is. :-)

    Samuel does a ghostly bow your way. I thought Lee deserved the best host possible. :-)

    Samuel Clemens says the creativity was all his! He just let me benefit from it. Sigh. :-)

    The venue of Meilori's allows me so much creative freedom. Last post I even got the jazz greats plus Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde and Robert Frost to debate whether Rap was poetry. Where else could you get the thoughts and jokes of those greats? :-)

    I'm glad Lee is only being gently roasted -- the vicious jabs of harsher roasts usually rob me of the enjoyment of such events.

    Thanks for reminding me of this fun fest. My recent mugging and knife wound has forced some things into the shadows of memory.

    I'm glad you enjoyed this. You get much of the credit for it. :-)

    I try to be as special as the subject of the celebration: and Lee deserves the best.

    Thanks so much for the book. I look forward to reading it. That was very kind of you!! :-)

  15. Roland this was so well done and entertaining! Bravo to you and the Bird!

  16. Ella:
    Thanks. Mark Twain is blushing. Or did he have one whiskey and soda too many? Bravo to Lee for making this possible and for you for such a nice comment. :-)

  17. This was a very clever take on this-well done!


  18. Larry:
    Thanks. I thought Lee deserved a unique post. Glad you liked it!

  19. Hi Roland .. Lee is being well and truly roasted in so many ways across the blogosphere .. an unique yours is ..

    Cheers Hilary

  20. Thanks, Hilary:
    Unique is what Lee is so unique praise is what he got from Mark Twain. :-)

  21. I always love your posts, Roland. And this one was of course perfect. Love your writing. A fantastic toast to Lee! Thanks so much for the support. :)

  22. Thanks, Morgan:
    I could do no less for Lee Bird. I'm very happy Mark Twain's wry performance entertained you. Watch out: he may pay a call on you!

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