HOW TO BE HAPPIER IN 2015

Robin: http://yourdailydose-robin.blogspot.com/ in a comment to my prior post triggered this one.  

Thanks, Robin

HOW TO BE HAPPIER IN 2015 THAN WE WERE IN 2014?

I was driving a very long blood run when I spotted this church sign.  Good advice ... but how exactly do we do it?

1.) LOOK AT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

 We all have ‘Vampires’ in our lives.  

Now, maybe they’re not the ones with pale skin and blood-thirsty fangs - but they can suck the life right out of us. 

 They work right next to you, live across the street and maybe even under your own roof.

 But what do you do when the person who drains you the most… lives with you? 

Whether it’s your spouse, your kids, or in-laws… 

there’s a time to establish healthy boundaries to guard against the Vampires that may be closest to us.

It may take a major re-structuring of your life.  

Breaking a badly healed bone to re-set it is quite painful, but it beats limping the rest of your life.

A season of grief to enjoy a life without a monster next to you.

2.) ARE YOU HURTING YOU?

If we all sought the happiness of others in our lives, it would be a much better world.

If you are a People-Pleaser, ask why?

Ask:

 1. Do you feel guilty or that you’ve let someone down if you were to say "No"?

 2. Do you avoid conflict and confrontation?

 3. Do you fear that people will stop liking you or wanting to be your friend if you say no?

Realize:

1.) You have a right to your own life, your own dreams, and time to work on doing what will make your life better.

2.) Avoiding conflict keeps you trapped in it forever.

3.)  Confrontation does not mean fight. 

It means: state what you have say. Listen to what they have to say. 

Often there is a middle road you both can take and get a bit of what you both want.

4.) In an ideal world your need/ wish to say "No" would be respected, honored and not questioned with no pressure to explain.

As your battered psyche tells you: this is not an ideal world.

5.) One tiny word is sometimes very hard to say.

6.) Saying no may feel and actually be threatening to relationships. 

But, saying yes can undermine the self and therefore also be threatening to the relationship.

7.) Lies always destroy.  

If your "Yes" is a lie, you sow seeds of poison within yourself and in the relationship.

8.) Be honest with yourself, with the other person, and seek compromise.  

Sometimes the wisest choice is to choose to a person who is whole enough not to NEED the other's approval over your sense of self-worth.

3.) CHANGE DESTRUCTIVE HABITS.

  A. WE KILL OURSELVES BY WHAT WE PUT INTO OUR MOUTHS ... and how often.

    1.) Our Weight

       Fad diets won't help.  We must establish a lifestyle of eating less and exercising more.  Not rocket science is it?

     (Oh, one trick is not to even have "junk food" in your cabinet!  You can't eat what you don't have!)

      We comfort ourselves with food, remembering being suckled at our mother's breast.  

We felt loved.  When we feel unloved often eating chocolate makes us feel better.

      Eating chocolate increases the levels of endorphins released into the brain,

 giving credence to the claim that chocolate is a comfort food. 

The endorphins work to lessen pain and decrease stress.

      Heart disease, diabetes (and the problems of circulation to the feet -- often losing toes),

 and joint pain all seem distant ... that Hershey's kiss is right there. 

      

     BABY STEPS.  Go refined sugarless.  Fruits.  Vegetables.

      EXERCISE.  Take the stairs.  Park far from the store door.  

Upon getting out of bed, do five sit up's and five push-ups.  Before going to bed repeat the process.

   2.) CIGARETTES.  

      My mother died of lung cancer.  Trust me.  You do not want to go that way.  

      There are patches and gum.  Use them. 

4.) MAKE LAUGHTER AN ITEM IN YOUR DAY'S MENU.

5.) VISIT MY BLOG DAILY!

The ghost of Mark Twain made me include that!