So you can read my books

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


Your unconscious speaks to you all the time.

Usually, the din of our present moment drowns it out.


But the unconscious is a tricky little bugger.

As I was driving today in the blinding rains, a car darted recklessly in front of me.

I drive as if everyone around me is suicidal and moronic -- so there was no accident.

Through the blurred windshield, I spotted the bumper sticker on it.

I thought I read:


When the windshield wipers sqeaked me a clear view,

my impression wasn't even close to the true words of the sticker.

Don't ask.

Just content yourself with the fact that it matched perfectly the mindset of a suicidal moron.

But it got me to thinking as I drove home.

My unconscious mind was right.
Life is a circle of seasons.

No winter stays forever. No summer is endless.

Trauma will end. Healing will begin.
And no joy lasts forever.

My blog friends email me:

some are struggling in the middle of their novels;

some are just trying to overcome the inertia of pushing the beginning of their narrative over that first hill;

while others are brooding about revisions: where to prune, where to further illuminate.

Whatever season you find yourself struggling in, know that with the trials,
there are also pleasures involved with each season.
Both blessings and blights have expiration dates.

Life is both less and more than you may think.

It is a fragile tangle of perceptions that exist in a fleeting moment in time.

This moment.


It is already gone:

that moment when your eyes first spied the title over my post.

And that is something my half-Lakota mother taught me

as we looked out over Lake Michigan at a frosty sunset

while she spun me tales of the Twilight of the Gods,

and what it meant to be courageous.

Suddenly, she turned to me and said:

"Breathe each breath, little one. No two are the same.

Remember the colors that paint this sky.

Remember me, little one.

Remember, and this sunset ... and I ... we will never leave you. Never."

I've been listening to Emily Dickinson's part in the WAR OF THE WORLDS.

Don't ask.  Long story.  :-)

Writing of that sunset from so long ago has reminded me of her "Blazing in Gold."

Here is a snippet :

"Blazing in gold and quenching in purple,
Leaping like leopards to the sky,
Then at the feet of the old horizon
Laying her spotted face to die…."

Another favorite comes from Christina Georgina Rossetti's "From Sunset To Star Rise":

"I live alone, I look to die alone:

Yet sometimes, when a wind sighs through the sedge,
Ghosts of my buried years and friends come back,
My heart goes sighing after swallows flown
On sometime summer's unreturning track."

We write our tales, spinning them of the silk of our imagination and perceptions.

We sail the dark seas of longing and desire ... to be published?


I think we sail for a shore other than the need to be heard.

No, we sail upon the Sea of Dreams to connect to others of like spirit out in the darkness.

That is why we sail upon uncertain seas to tell our stories ... to reach another heart like ours:

hurting, hoping, and helping. That is a star worthy of charting our course by.

What did John Masefield write?

I must go down to the sea again,
to the lonely sea and sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship
And a star to steer by.


  1. Mostly you are right. Sadly some people chose to leave us from a dark winter's night they believe to be endless.

  2. To be heard and find like souls - very true.
    Suicidal morons. That's how I drive as well. Those guys are everywhere.

  3. Elephant's Child:
    Yes, too many can only see the pain, whether emotional or physical, and choose to end their lives.

    Suicide inflicts a wound to the most helpless (and least deserving of all): the children. Hemingway's father committed suicide and for 4 generations a Hemingway has committed suicide.

    Some seasons are longer than others, but they all end. The trick is to remember that, enduring the painful, cherishing the lovely.

    Yes, I just try not to be one of them!

  4. I like this line: 'I must go down to the sea again. . .' for it reminds of my love for the ocean, although rivers and lakes can be calming too.
    I'm one of those in the middle of the novel places, myself. Middle of two novels, actually. I'm ignored them and I miss them.

  5. D.G.:
    I am a lake and ocean person myself. Perhaps we all are since we are two-thirds water. Some part of us relates to the sea.

    I have been in the middle of the last Victor Standish novel for over a year. Whew!

    I wish you luck with your two novels. Hang in there!