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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN_IWSG post



The lab results that shook you to the core.  

The harsh retort that cost you a relationship.  

The needed car repair that costs more than you have.

Life has a way of continually knocking you to the ground without warning.  

Sometimes you don't know if you have it within you to get up one more time.

You don't have to continually get up.  

You just have to get up one more time 
than they knock you down.

And that means adapting to the present, thinking outside of our usual responses to stress.

We have been brought low by the myth of HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  

There is no such thing.


Our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home. 

There is beauty, laughter, and friendship along our journey, 

but if we focus on the maybe happiness of a future with goal won, we will lose today ...

 We will have lost priceless treasures existing in our Now by the searching for Tomorrow's  fool's gold. 




Jeremy Hawkins wrote in comment to my last post:


"I have been trying to obtain a dream or reality for some time now and for me... 

I have hit the bottom. 

Many life situation has sucked my creative side dry and my steps, sites and attention proves it. 

Do we get it back, can I... I only hope too.

 Sadly, it's a long road... dreams are for those who like me, trying and failing.

Though I keep trying, but there is nothing I am trying for at the moment... 

and that thing called reality, that just sucks.

I think I went off topic... dammit, sorry."


Jeremy, you, nor any of my friends, are ever off-topic with me when you speak from your heart.

The hidden thing about crossroads 

is that we never know we are at one until we have made our decision and are reaping the consequences.

Sometimes the way ahead is not clear.

Yet "Impossible" just gives birth to legends. 

When I was abandoned at six on Skid Row in Detroit, 

when my home burned to the ground with no insurance, 

when the love of my life died in surgery, 

when my whole city was forcibly evacuated from our homes --

 I hit bottom all those times.

Bottom gives us a place to stand, to rise, to reflect upon what is left ... 

to perhaps see a new path to old goals or hidden roads to new ones.

Wilde wrote that insanity was trying the same things repeatedly and expecting different results. 

We must take different steps to reach new destinations.

Each blow, each wound, each set-back has a lesson for us if we but stand back and reflect. 

Those things have shaped us and surviving them has made us stronger, wiser.

There is beauty, there is humor, there is hope ... 

perhaps those are the only lights in Man's dark world. 

In tragedy and in despair, 

when an endless night seems to have fallen, hope can be found in the realization that the companion of night is not another night, 

that the companion of night is day, that darkness always gives way to light, 

and that death rules only half of creation, life the other half.

That is the great thing about life: 
  
Though it is often cruel, it is also mysterious, filled with wonder and surprise; sometimes the surprises are so amazing that they qualify as miracles,  

and by witnessing those miracles, a shattered person can sometimes discover a reason to live.

Often I am scared down to the marrow of my bones, 

but I keep telling myself that as long as I have laughter, I am not without hope.

In your blog, Jeremy, you always find something to laugh about.  

May laughter be your companion today, leading you to a new goal or the realization of an old one.

39 comments:

  1. We will always have darkness here, but that means we will always have light as well. We just have to hold out until it returns.

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    1. As it does with each dawn: The Father's silent, yet beautiful, Life lesson to us all. :-)

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  2. Very inspirational. If we didn't have humour to face things with, it might be very difficult to go on.

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    1. And friends, too. Also the very uncertainty of life keeps us going on. Who knows what lays in store for us next month or next year?

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  3. I was supposed to be married for the rest of my life. I looked forward to my husband's retirement and our plans to travel. Of course, he left me after thirty-one years and eleven months of marriage. I do not miss him. I like living with Franklin and seeing Willy Dunne Wooters on the weekend. WDW is the better man, but there is no such thing as happily every after. My glass slippers broke, so I put on sensible shoes.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Nothing ever goes as we plan: our vision is too limited and the natures of those around us too evolving and often flawed.

      Glass slippers shatter too easily ... and are too uncomfortable to boot!.

      Your husband's decision was a denial of his aging perhaps. I hate that whatever drove him had him choose hurting you ... and himself. A lifetime of shared memories, experiences, and dreams once thrown away can never be re-captured.

      It sounds like you found a better man ... living well is the best revenge ... which really not revenge but a form of healing.

      You are in my prayers. Always your friend, Roland

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    2. You are so kind. My ex-husband is mentally ill. When he stopped taking his medication, it was the beginning of the end. I feel sorry for his new wife. If he becomes psychotic again, she will be lost. I will be drinking wine with Willy Dunne Wooters and kissing Franklin.

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    3. It is a sad fact that you cannot force a loved one to make a wise decision or to take his medication. You have chosen wisely: to live well and move on. :-) Sorry my days have been a whirlwind -- I did not see your reply!

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  4. There is a wonderful song which nails it for me. I fall down (often, literally and metaphorically) but I get up again. Nothings going to keep me down... (for long).

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    1. I think I know that song. :-)

      We can find strength in the getting up each time we fall. Life seems composed of being knocked down time and time again, and yet rising having learned new lessons on how to see life clearer.

      May the times between falls grow longer for you. Hang in there.

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  5. A good reminder, Roland, that we should live by Winston Churchill's words, which I take as advice: 'Never surrender'. I've lost a few things along the way, but I gained a spirit, and I've grabbed back a few things that life tried to take. I don't plan to go quietly into the night now, or for a long time.

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    1. Churchill wrote all his war-time radio speeches which held the nation together during the dark times of the Nazi bombings. The true story, THE DOG WHO COULD FLY, brought the common man's experiences during those bombings. Steinbeck's newspaper account of those brave souls in Dover who endured nightly shelling with bravery and humor helps too.

      If we are adaptive and intelligent, what we lose along the way is more than made up by what we've learned.

      Yes, do not go gentle into the night is our mantra, right? :-)

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  6. Hi, Roland...

    Boy does your post hit home for me... Once your read my post.... Standing on shaky legs after my slap down...

    But, as you say, there is always beauty and with darkness there is always light...

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    1. Tampa, all of Florida really, is in Hurricane Alley -- what was meant for harm, like with Joseph being sold into slavery, may turn into something fine and good for you.

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  7. "The needed car repair that costs more than you have." Ha! That happened to me TWICE last month. Not fun!

    Jeremy's comment made me sad. For him and for myself because I have felt that way.

    This was a much-needed pep talk. Thanks, Roland!

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    1. Yes, I am driving in Louisiana without air conditioning from lack of funds! Ouch!!

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  8. "The needed car repair that costs more than you have." Ha! That happened to me TWICE last month. Not fun!

    Jeremy's comment made me sad. For him and for myself because I have felt that way.

    This was a much-needed pep talk. Thanks, Roland!

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  9. When you hit bottom, there's only one place to go - up.

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    1. Staying just means you get walked on! Not for us, right?

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  10. Hi Roland, I agree that "Each blow, each wound, each set-back has a lesson for us if we but stand back and reflect." There is a hidden meaning in everything we undergo in life.

    Rachna Chhabria
    Co-host IWSG
    Rachna's Scriptorium

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    1. Glad to know you are a kindred spirit! :-)

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  11. Yes, sadly, we have all had these times. Times when the sunny day looked dark, and the overcast days looked black. The journey is filled with boulders. We need to push them away, it may take all our strength, and we may need help.

    Keep on truckin' Jeremy. It will turn around.

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    1. Dark time hinder us all at some time. If we cannot move the boulder, then we must burrow under it or climb it, right, Holly?

      I pray Jeremy finds light for the next step and the strength to take it. :-) I am sure your support means a lot to Jeremy.

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    2. That's right! There is more than one way to get around a boulder.

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    3. The ghost of Mark Twain that boulder might be God's "subtle" hint that we are going in the wrong direction! Leave it to Mark. :-)

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  12. Wow, what a beautiful, powerful post, Roland. I'm in awe of everything you've managed to overcome. You're a true survivor, and if you can still laugh and appreciate life, I definitely have no excuse.

    Thanks for this. Wishing you a wonderful month!

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    1. May your month be smooth and filled with only happy surprises. I am saddened those agents were so savage and cruel about your queries. May they be the last stinkers you meet this year!

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  13. I hit rock bottom last fall, but I think it was a blessing in disguise as I gave up on one manuscript and started writing in a whole new genre that I now adore!! Sometimes life is hard and it doesn't make sense. That's when I turn to my Lord and Savior!! :)

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    1. Like with Joseph sold into slavery, betrayed by his master's wife, and forgotten by a fellow prisoner -- sometimes hardships educate in the areas we will need when the Father blesses us. :-)

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  14. I thought of Michael as I read this Roland. Really would hit home for him. I'm glad he's visited and seen it.

    Denise :-)

    My IWSG post on Mindfulness

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    1. I will be praying extra strong for Michael in the next few weeks. I still pray for you and that cancer surgery. :-)

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  15. When times get tough I turn to GOD and he gives me strength to go on. Hope you find the strength to go on.

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    1. I awaken each morning, thanking the Father for the gift of the new day. I go to sleep thanking Him for whatever laughter, friends, and good times were mine during the day.

      Sometimes I go to sleep scared as when I faced disfiguring cancer surgery on my face -- then, I would repeat David's words "My times are in the Father's Hand."

      When my city was manditorily evacuated, I had been delivering blood all morning. I ate a hasty lunch at home, heard the evacuation order, and went to my car to find the gas tank had been siphoned dry. The gas stations were all closed ... and I was stranded directly in the path of a category 5 hurricane.

      I looked up into the boiling clouds and whispered, "Father, you have never failed me yet, but you would know I was lying if I didn't say that I was more than a little scared right now."

      I jumped as the cell phone on my belt rang. It was my friend and supervisor, Freddie, "Hey, you got a way out of town?"

      I told him NO and why. He snorted, "Of course you do, bro. You got me. Grab your cat, some clothes -- 'cause you and me and Gypsy are going to Baton Rouge."

      And so the Father once again looked out for me.

      I knew as I wrote this post that not everyone who visits my blog believes as you and I do -- so I wrote what words of comfort and strength that would speak to everyone, no matter their world view.

      May the Father watch over you and Jeremy. :-)

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  16. I first read this lovely post shortly after it was up, and I swear I left a comment--but then when I'm tired I can be delusional.

    Life really does go up and down, certainly for me and often so painfully so I feel I've got whiplash. I wish the best for you, Jeremy, and everyone out there who is struggling just to get through another day. Take care, you all!

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    1. Everyone is having a harder time than they appear. It's why I try to be patient, for I realize I do not know their backstory.

      I know all about tired being a rare blood courier! May your week be calm and bright. :-)

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  17. Great post and one I really needed to hear as lately an endless night seems to have set over our family. I love "that darkness always gives way to light". Very powerful. Thank you for posting this! My thoughts go out to Jeremy too, I hope the sun is rising for him as well.

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    1. I've been concerned about you, Kathryn, since it's been over a month since you last posted on your blog. Life doesn't ask for permission: it just intrudes into our carefully laid plans and upheaves them, I pray that your days grow easier to bear and that sunny surprises wait just around the corner for you.

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  18. Being at a bottom keeps us humble; but not appreciative of the life lessons.

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  19. Hi Roland ... I really replied to this on your last post ... it's brilliant you're reaching so many ... and we can learn and help each other. As we are alive and thinking we have a future, we can help ourselves by designing that future ...

    Thanks Roland - cheers Hilary

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