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I'm a writer. I have the business cards to prove it and everything.
Which means I'm about as popular at work as an Amway or Avon salesman!
Once a well-meaning soul asked, "What are you writing about?"
I know my eyes must have lit up like a sadist at a masochist convention.
"Oh! It's about a street kid in haunted New Orleans right before Hurricane Katrina!"
Her eyes glazed over. Her face took on a "Call 911! Call 911!" expression. She even backed up.
It reminded me of an important lesson.
Not taught ... because haven't you noticed that you only need to be reminded of most facts of life?
Long ago, I learned that 99% of the people I meet will not care about my $2000 book contract or my latest book.
No.
They want to know if anybody in this stressed-out world gives a damn about them.
You see, most people are having a harder time than it appears.
And for the most part, their wounds are invisible - and more painful because of that fact.
So I keep quiet about me and ask about what is drawing blood in my co-workers' lives.
And in today's world something is always wounding those around you.
No sympathy for my dreams.
But like I've said - those around me (and you) have larger wounds needing tending to than my quixotic quests for publication.
So those of you reading this -- don't worry.
Yes, I am a writer, but you will read little hype about my books.
Hey, I'm human and I occasionally yield to temptation.
My trailer at the top of this blog will give you an idea if you're curious.
Wendy Tyler Ryan crafted them into works of art. Tyler and Ryan are the names of her two sons.
What's her last name? I don't know.
My code is that of the Old West. I don't pry. Need someone to listen, to give a damn? I'm your man.
You want privacy? I'm still your man. I will give your invisible wounds breathing room.
What did Wyatt Earp say?
"Never crowd a fellow unless you got a first class reason."
So what's the point of this little post?
That life is easier for those around us when we take time to listen
-- really listen --
not crouch impatiently for a pause in the breath of the speaker to leap in with something important ... something about US.
But you see,
we all have our dreams. Mine's being a self-supporting writer. You have yours. Your neighbors and co-workers have theirs.
More importantly,
we all have invisible wounds and silent sorrows.
If we are tolerant of the dreams of others and healing in our words and actions to their wounds --
then the pursuit of our dreams will not be a lonely one nor will it be in vain --
even if the end of the rainbow forever eludes us.
We will have journeyed towards it with friends.
People don't care what you know - they just want to know that you care.
ReplyDeleteThat, and most people just want to talk about themselves. Human nature.
Besides, I already know about me - I want to know what is going on in the lives of my friends!
DeleteWhen my dad was alive, he always said we all need our dreams.
ReplyDeleteNear the end of life, I got many warnings he was leaving this world. At the time I could not see them. Well one I saw loud and clear. I just chose to interpret it as frailness.
But to the point, I realised after reading this that he had stopped having dreams.
Sad I know. I miss him.
Mark Twain said it was our dreams that kept us alive. I grieve with you. I miss my mother. But we had them in the first place -- I try to think of it that way.
DeleteDreams and hope are what gets so many of us up in the morning. And listening, really listening is a precious gift.
ReplyDeleteMy mother taught me that, and I try to honor her by living her wisdom. :-)
DeleteHow wise of you to notice that everyone has wounds, and sometimes they just want someone who'll listen or show that a person is listening and cares.
ReplyDeleteI've learned not to talk about my writing at work because then co-workers can feel trapped; there would be an unspoken pressure or obligation to read my books, and I don't want to pressure anyone at all. So not talking about that part of my life seems to make everyone happy.
You and I have the same reasons in remaining silent about our writing dreams at work. Here at my cyber-house, you can talk about your dreams, and I will happily listen, :-)
DeleteYes, there is a lot of noise in this world and not many good listeners, so true. Still, when you're a self-published writer you have to tell people about your books as they stay pretty invisible on Amazon. (I've just joined you after all these years--considering we sort of started blogging and thinking about publishing at the same time--on Sunday night I hit Publish on my first novella in a vampire series! Pretty exciting, huh? Or not? We'll see...)
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the WEPervessence on Wednesday!
Denise :-)
Going to buy your novella right now. :-) We have to choose our audience when talking about our books. I just wrote a brand new flash fiction for your WEP haunting prompt. I hope you like it.
DeleteYou're very astute to consider the wounds of others, rather than focus on your own. By listening and by caring, we help another soul, hoping that someone will be there when we need them. . .
ReplyDeleteMost people want you to know about their book idea, they don't care about yours. There is a large ME segment in society, which is fed by social media.
Hence the popularity of the SELFIE. ? There are some personalities whose claim to fame is their publishing their selfies on Social Media. ???
DeleteI think of humanity as a giant stone arch bridge: each of us supports the other to make something useful for the world. :-)
Hi Roland - it's so true ... if we have hopes, dreams, and inspirational ideas ... we are ahead of most people as we're going somewhere. I try and listen, and ask questions of friends or acquaintances ... bring others into the conversation.
ReplyDeleteAlso I talk - probably too much at times, and then try and curtail myself! - but at the Nursing Centre they said well you give us something else to think about ... you inspire us to remember the outside world and other arenas ... so talking at times can have its benefits.
Your arch bridge - makes sense ... bridges have connected the world and let so much spread out .. cheers Hilary
Mark Twain's ghost reminds me he thought of it first. :-)
DeleteI guess the Father was trying to give us a hint when he gave us TWO ears and only ONE mouth, right?
Thanks for liking my stone arch bridge analogy. Each of us helps support the other to do what none of us alone could do.
You've written another great timely post, revealing the heart and soul of a writer's quest, who listens to others so adeptly, the stories fill your soul.
ReplyDeleteLife here in LA County is a constant work to build bridges b/t humans, to find the medium point, we can relate with each others plight. Many are torn down as fast as they're built.
You know Roland, My long time confidante/friend. I have only recalled 2 dreams in the last 7 yrs since My Brother passed. To Dream these days is very special to me, IF I am lucky to recollect them. A friend stated, you may be dreaming, but not able to recall. That may be the case. Yet, sleeping without dreaming is haunting this old soul.
I'm curious what Jung would say about the discontinuance of dream worlds?
Everyone dreams during sleep, but not everyone recalls the mental escapadse the next day, and scientists aren't sure why some people remember more than others.
DeleteSome think that dreams are the mind's way of dealing with the prior day's events. You may not remember them, for they have served their purpose already.
The dreams I meant were the ones we harbor in our conscious minds and hearts -- wanting to see a far exotic land, to write a moving novel, to find a heart-mate.
I think your friend is right: you are dreaming but they have done what they meant to do.
May your mid-week be healing. :-)