ZOMBIES AMONG US!

Let me channel Lydia Kang here:

1.) Half of the world's population is already infected ...

with toxoplasmosa gondii

a parasite that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.


This bug infects rats, but can only breed inside the intestines of a cat. The parasite knows it needs to get the rat inside the cat

so the parasite takes over the rat's brain, and

intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn't even know it.

Humans and rats aren't all that different; thats why they use them to test our drugs.

All it takes is a more evolved version of toxoplasmosa, one that could to do us what it does to the rats.

So, imagine if half the world suddenly had no instinct for self-preservation or rational thought.

Oh, we call that adolescence.

2.) Mad Cow Disease:
It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.

And, when humans eat the meat ...

How it can result in zombies:

When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:

•Changes in gait (walking)
•Hallucinations
•Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
•Muscle twitching
•Myoclonic jerks or seizures
•Rapidly developing delirium or dementia.

How many members of Congress does that describe?

So, imagine such an evolved disease, which we'll call Super Mad Cow getting a foothold through the food supply.

Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.

Just like the movies. With one bite, you're suddenly the worst kind of zombie:

A fast zombie.


3.) Neurogenesis.

As seen in ...
Laboratories around the world.

What is it?

You know all that conversy out there about stem cell research?

Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells.

Particularly of interest to zombologists like ourselves is neurogenesis, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.

You can see where this is going.

Science is already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.

Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation

so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.

That sounds great, right?

Well, this lab dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem.

It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human.

That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.

So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around,

no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.

Think about it. Under every legal system in the world,

all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death.

All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labor.

How long until somebody tries this? We're betting somebody in the world, maybe North Korea, will have a working zombie by Christmas.

For further scientific scariness:

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen_p4.html

See 7 year old Victor Standish versus zombies in a Detroit infested with them!

http://www.amazon.com/THE-RIVAL-chapter-STANDISH-ebook/dp/B007JOUJ60

THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE_HOW TO SURVIVE THE HOLIDAYS

THE CDC, THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, AND YOU

May 16th the CDC issued a Social Media: Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse :
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

It is such a popular announcement that it often crashes. So out of civic concern, I am distilling the announcement to its essentials :

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for.
Take a zombie apocalypse for example.

That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now,

but when your bank teller starts to dig through your scalp to make a brain withdrawal, you'll be glad you read this.

And hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.



We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident Evil),

but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much?

The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. But they are quite different than the infamous Alice Wentworth, who, legends say, wait for the unwary by the crypt of Marie Laveau.

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen.

In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder

“How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen?

First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house.

This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp

(or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored).

Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

•Water (1 gallon per person per day)
•Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
•Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
•Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
•Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
•Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
•Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
•First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

Never Fear – CDC is Ready

If zombies did start roaming the streets,

CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak.

CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation.

This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).

It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin,

learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.

Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas

(I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).
***