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Thursday, February 23, 2012

PERFECTION IS WHERE YOU FIND IT_Friday's Romantic Challenge




http://romanticfridaywriters.blogspot.com/

The leader of the vampires shoved me onto the porch leading to the entrance of The Bourbon Orleans and laughed, “Poet, your dream is about to become nightmare.”

I saw Alice shiver. She was looking at the four entrance columns , towering above us. Her face seemed to glow it was so pale. Her nose suddenly wrinkled like a rabbit’s.

“V-Victor, those columns ….”

“Yes?”

“They are painted with … human blood.”

The leader laughed low, “Makes you hungry, little ghoul?”

Alice began to shiver worse. The blood moon struck fire from the silver edging to her black Gothic Lolita dress. Sfumato! I glanced down at the moon doing the same to my white Mark Twain-style suit.

I sighed, angry at myself. You know, one day I would die, not because of what I didn’t know, but of what I had forgotten.

Like I had forgotten our clothes had been bathed in the Waterfalls of Eden, not once, but four times … with us in them. Such a thing was fatal the first time, much less four. But our love for each other had pulled us through.

I smiled like I was feeling that love as never before … which I was.

I reached out and squeezed her hand still smiling. “We are not of the night nor of darkness but of love.”

My suit and her dress flared like suns. The vampires screamed shrill yet husky. Reeling away from us, they burst into foul-smelling two-legged bonfires. They didn’t make three steps. They collapsed to go up like dry driftwood.

I brought Alice’s hand to my lips and softly kissed it, surprised that for the first time in our love that it was warm.

“People think they know who we are, Alice. They are wrong.”

She smiled with trembling lips. “Wrong.”

Alice embraced me, kissing me hungry, loving, and with the passion that I knew would never die. I shivered. We had kissed before but never had her lips been warm. Never. I ruined our kiss by smiling.

She pulled back. “You smile?”

“Your lips.”

She swallowed. “What about them?”

“They’re warm.”

“Warm? Your love has made them w-warm?”

Our love, Alice.”

She mewed like a lost kitten having found home, rushing into my arms, renewing our kiss with even more passion.

Her hand reached around my neck, pulling me into it. She needn’t have bothered. I was doing just fine on my own. I pulled her body into mine, not roughly, but with all the tenderness in my heart.

I wasn’t an orphan anymore. In her arms, I was home.

I heard screams from behind the windows all along the balcony. Alice and I stepped back, looking up in shock.

Vampire bonfires flared behind each and every window where those leeches had been watching us being led to our supposed slow deaths.

They fell to the wooden floors. I made a face. It was certainly going to be a hot time in the old town tonight.
***

22 comments:

  1. 'A hot time in the old town tonight...' Ah, love it. Your imagery was particularly wonderful Roland. '...our clothes had been bathed in the Waterfalls of Eden...' Genius. Blood-painted columns...

    Now Alice can't be a 9.5 can she?

    You'll be pleased to know I finished Blood Will Tell. Got me thinking. I'll get a review up soon.

    Denise

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  2. Maybe it's an Aussie thing, but have to admit that last line was my favourite too :)

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  3. Denise :
    To Victor, Alice is a 10. But first love is like that. LOL. I hoped you enjoyed BLOOD WILL TELL. I'm looking forward to your review!

    I'm happy that you enjoyed this little snippet of THE RIVAL. Alice has a wealth of admirers from a young Edgar Allan Poe to Hermes --who slummed as the actor Errol Flynn for a time -- at least in my mythos! :-)

    Charmaine :
    Victor loves that you liked his last line. Thanks for liking this excerpt! Roland

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  4. Awesome; pure love - and the waters of Eden - slays the vamps like fireworks on 4th of July. Very creative.

    Vivid descriptions, and the deathly love of these two is powerfully written. Well done Roland.

    .......dhole

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  5. Creepy yet very descriptive love story...nicely done.

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  6. Dear Roland,
    You have touched on a mysterious aspect of love: love makes us perfect in the eyes of those who love us!

    You write that 'Alice is a 10 to Victor!' Hde loves her.

    The very first time I read your stories, I felt a little lost in this world of creepy vampires, blood and fire. But now that I am better aquainted with Victor and Alice, I think they are a stunning couple!

    You are an amazing story-teller!

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's Perfect 9.5 for RFW No 32

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  7. Very creative imagery here with lots of interesting fantasy elements. One of the things that makes me hate the harsh word limit is when I come across something like this:
    .
    " The blood moon struck fire from the silver edging to her black Gothic Lolita dress. Sfumato! I glanced down at the moon doing the same to my white Mark Twain-style suit."
    .
    I really don't know what this is all about, and it's kind of frustrating when I realise you're not allowed the freedom of word space to tell me all about this ahead of time (which I am certain you would, given ample word space). I suppose that makes very challenging to write fantasy flash fiction. Still I must admire your ability to pack so much imaginative pictures in such a short space. Well done.

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  8. Those two would be a smash hit at a party! Either that or they'd clear the room.

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  9. Oh yes, the perfect 10 for love, her dress and blood-painted columns! Beautiful imagery and atmosphere, Roland.

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  10. And I just saw the ABNA list - congratulations, Roland!!

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  11. Wow that is some excerpt! And I love the ending, it made me laugh. Fantastic as always!

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  12. COMPUTER AND INTERNET PROBLEMS HAVE EATEN ALMOST ALL OF MY FREE TIME IN FIXING! I will try to visit as many of you when I get back from work (if on call will let me!)

    Donna :
    Yes, Victor and Alice's love is the true legend in the shadowlands! It really means a lot that you like this.

    Janaki :
    Creepy is sometimes sexy (at least to Victor!) I'm happy you enjoyed this snippet.

    Thank you, Anna :
    I am happy you've found enjoyment in my supernatural world. That you took the time to understand means a great deal to me!

    Kyra :
    Alice is blushing -- something to see a ghoul do!

    Weissdorn :
    Yes, the word limitation is inhibiting. Victor's mentor, Sam McCord & the Apache shaman, Elu, will not let Victor swear.

    "Sfumato" is the term used in painting to describe how Leonardo da Vinci created the fading effect of smoke. It sounds like the F word Victor wants to swear, so he uses it. It makes Elu smile which is why he allows it.

    In 1834, the jeans and black T-shirt Victor usually wears (and has been soaked in the melted snows of Eden) have morphed into the white suit that Mark Twain wore at the end of his life.

    Alice wears a short Victorian style dress, similarly soaked, that is in the style now called Gothic Lolita.

    I wish Amazon allowed you to download UNDER A VOODOO MOON or THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH. I would make free gifts of them to you for all the effort you have made to understand my flash fictions!

    Alex :
    Actually, they have had both those effects at some pretty wild parties. Even more so in their soon to be released, THE RIVAL!

    And thanks for the congrats. I had actually forgotten I had even entered ABNA. Mardi Gras madness at the blood center!

    Margo :
    So good seeing you back here. Victor blows you a kiss. Uh, oh. A jealous Alice is now chasing him!

    Thank you, Heather :
    I want so badly to visit your blog and those of my other friends. But I am already three minutes late! Rats!! I like that last line myself! Roland

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  13. Hi Roland
    Once again you serve up your characters for our enjoyment. Well written and enticing. What can I add that others haven't already said.
    Nancy

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  14. Thanks, Nancy :
    Your enjoyment of my excerpt means a lot to me, Roland

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  15. Roland, I really want to find out more about Alice and Victor... They have a really intense realationship which intrigues me!

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  16. Congrats on ABNA! fab news! Great excerpt this week- I love these two
    Lx

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  17. Roland, thankyou for your generous gift! I can now read the history between Alice and Victor!

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  18. You, my dear Roland, have an incredible imagination. It's always a pleasure visiting your site! BTW, awesome story. Creepy and just about the right tension. Perfect!

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  19. C M :
    I hope you enjoy the adventures of Victor and Alice. It was fun to translate the flow and energy of free running (parkour) to prose.

    Laura :
    I still can't believe I forgot I had entered. If the blood center keeps on this pace and madness, I may very well forget again! :-)

    I'm glad you enjoyed this snippet and Victor's story!

    Jack :
    If I had your email address, I would send you a free copy of THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH. Thanks for visiting and chatting! Roland

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  20. Cool imagery...vivid. Well penned.

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  21. Hello.
    I think this is my favorite of all of yours I have read so far. I have a hard time getting my head around the fact that ghouls have feeling, let alone love! (lol) "bathed in the Waterfalls of Eden"...nice touch. I liked the ending too.
    Thanks for sharing.

    True Beauty Comes from Imperfection

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