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Friday, January 7, 2011

FALLEN IS THE NAME I CHOSE_SO LET ME FALL




The most memorable heroes or heroines you have ever met were archetypes.

Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung believed that these archetypes were the result of a collective unconscious.

This collective unconscious was not directly knowable and is a product of the shared experiences of our ancestors.

If we can tap into the collective unconscious with our heroine, then we will stir the hearts of our readers on the unconscious level, insuring that all important reader identification.

Fallen, the heroine in this blog of late is the archetype, "La Belle Dame sans Merci" :

“... darkness yet in light, To live a life half dead, a living death, And buried; but O yet more miserable! My self, my Sepulcher.”

John Milton {“Samson Agonistes.”}



LET ME FALL

"Let me fall,

Let me climb,

There is a moment when fear

And dream must collide."



I am the last of my race. I am Tuatha de Danann. And, no, human, that does not mean elf, or fae, or damned. I take that last back. I am damned.


"Someone I am

Is waiting for courage,

The one I want,

The one I will become,

Will catch me."


I have no memories of my youth. Youth. The word is a mockery to me.

Though I look a young woman, I have lived centuries which I do remember. I remember when the sphinx had a nose,

when the pyramids were caressed by shimmering limestone,

and when courage and honor were not hollow words.

Yes, that long ago do I remember.


"Let me fall,

If I fall,

Though the phoenix

May or may not rise."


Then how do I even know I am Tuatha de Danann? The knowledge sings to me from the depths of my spirit in the night.


Its melody mocks with teasing glimpses of a time long gone, yet unborn.


"I will dance so freely,

Holding on to no one;

You can hold me only

If you, too, will fall

Away from all your

Useless fears and chains."


How do I know I am Sidhe? It is the face which mocks me from the mirror.

High cheekbones which seem intent on bursting up and out of flesh which shimmers as if coated with stardust.

A living waterfall of honey-wheat hair, looking more like a lion's mane than any other earthly term I could use.

Large, slanted fae eyes, chilling even me with their lack of warmth or mercy.


"So let me fall,

If I must fall,

There is no reason

To miss this one chance

This perfect moment;

Just let me fall."


But enough about me. What do you think about me? On second thought, do not tell me.

What care I what humans think of me? But I lie. I do care. At least about what one human thinks of me.


Roland Yeomans. DreamSinger. He is Lakota fairy tale come to life. He is the shaman who sings dreams to life. And he will tell me my beginnings or die.



"So let me fall,

If I must fall,

I won't heed your warnings;

I won't hear them."



My mind is churning with images humans could not comprehend as I sway up the steps of the Art Nouveau house,

that is just one of the doorways into Roland’s psyche.

Just its name alone is punishment to think, much less speak : Jugendstilhaus in der Ainmillerstrabe.

Once it had been the home of the infamous Countess Franziska zu Reventlow,

her erotic lifestyle and cosmic nonsense had inspired and broken the hearts of an entire generation in Munich.

Now it has to settle for being the most elite restaurant in the city.

No knocking on the door. This restaurant is much too elite for that. Only a rare electronic key will work … a key based on the silicon ingrams of Roland’s own brain.

I have mine in my longer than human fingers. Roland had sung this establishment into being along with most of Munich back when he used the pen name, The Brothers Grimm.

I slide the key through the black slot whose color matches my short-skirted version of a S.S. uniform.

True, I am some seventy years out of date. But what is seventy years to a Tuatha de Danann?

A mere hiccup in time.

I remember Wagner trying to teach me German ... among other things. I go cold inside. I remember too much, feel too little.

I enjoy the glares of the pompous patrons as I roll my hips to the back table reserved for DreamSinger alone.

The maitre d' nearly breaks his neck getting to me, but I am already seated, making sure my short skirt is hiked up suitably indecent to induce doomed desire.

He stands trembling over me as I take out my copy of The Spirit as Adversary of the Soul by old Ludwig Klages from my skirt pocket.

I am almost through with his nonsense. Seeing how close he can come to the truth, while stumbling right past it always makes me chuckle.

The maitre d' isn't close to chuckling. "Fraulein, you simply cannot wear that uniform in here!"

"Sure I can. What is the matter? Afraid those power brokers to our right will find out your grandfather wore this uniform for real?"

He spins around so fast he leaves an after-image. Roland clears his throat across the table from me.

“He cannot help his past.”

I study this strange man. His eyes. Damn, his eyes. They look as if they have seen all the pain in the world … and have felt most of it.

“I’m tired of this dancing, DreamSinger. Who am I?”

Roland looks truly surprised. “I thought you knew. You are La Belle Dame sans Merci .”

"Is that my name or my nature?"

"Both."

I sit back in my chair. I had been right, after all. I am damned.

***


15 comments:

  1. I love the lyrical sound and feel of this. The ending was very poetic! Lovely!

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  2. Your writing never ceases to amaze me Roland. Beautiful!

    I love Jungian archetypes. I did a blog series on them a few months back.

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  3. Love the photo, and LOVE that Josh Groban song! I saw him singing it on a TV show once, and he was climbing these incredibly tall stairs into a fog, and at the end he dropped off the top of the stairs--it totally looked like he fell. Very cool effect.

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  4. Haunting and lovely. This was a pleasure to read!

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  5. Hi Roland, it's been a while since I've been able to comment. I apologize, but I've been overwhelmed with school work and of course writing of my own. If I don't comment as often as I usually do please do not take it personally. Please realize that while I might not always be able to comment, I do usually read most of your posts and am amazed by them.

    This was a beautiful post and I think you brought up a great point. The lyrical feel was also refreshing to read.

    Always,
    Lindsey

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  6. Heather : Thanks. I'm glad I hit the chord I was aiming for in this selection.

    Matthew : Great to see you here. Yes, Jung is a great aid to writers ... along with Maslow and Freud. Just so long as they don't ask for a share, right?

    Golden Eagle : I wrote this piece and polished it by reading it aloud as I went. I'm glad you enjoyd reading it.

    Carol : I would have liked to have seen that performance by Josh Groban. Isn't this photo mesmerizing? I'm happy you found this selection a good read.

    Lydia : Good to see you back here. I've missed you. That it was a joy to read means a lot coming from you.

    Lindsey : I thought the holidays had siphoned your free time from you. Any time you can leave a comment is very much appreciated. Have a great end of week, Roland

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  7. Hmm, I'll have to think on this. The beginning portrays my fantasy MC Wynter so succinctly. The sentiment and basic personality traits I'm aiming for anyway.

    Research is going so slow. The writing slower.
    Grrrrrrrrrr.

    If I'm lucky, MY character will have as much "character" as Fallen.

    Well, we all have our measuring sticks to rise to . . .

    Have a great weekend Roland.

    .........dhole

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  8. Donna : I know about the slowness. I am so weary in the evenings when I drag home that I have only been able to write 4 pages in 7 days!

    I'd be proud if you used Fallen as a template of sorts. I have read your fantasy selections, and they have been vivid, riveting, and imaginative. You have a rare talent. Roland

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  9. What an interesting confrontation with you. I love the voice you put together with her. The way she is described is dreamlike, I wonder if perhaps she fell from a star long ago?

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  10. Summer : Thanks so much for the great comment. Writing through Fallen's perspective is hard because her mind works on levels higher than human. Dreamlike is what I was going for.

    What hurt her most was not the Fall, but surviving it.

    When Question warred with Answer, she belonged to the ranks of the Undecided. And with the rest of the Sidhe, she was cast down to Earth to view first-hand the handiwork of He whom she helped by her inaction.

    I wrote a bit more of that background in a short story, LIES THAT LOCUST TELL. Its premise being : what if Earth was invaded, and the good were too busy aiming missiles at one another to notice. What if it were up to Evil to battle for the planet?

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  11. A poet too... sad, oh so very sad.

    There's so such painful emotion. You are deep my friend.

    You take sadness to your heart and keep it locked away only to be discovered in your tragically beautiful prose.

    Need I say more ...

    Michael

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  12. Michael : I think that all of us who write see and feel deeply, placing our bruises in the chest of our memory, drawing them out as ink on our pages.

    Thanks for the kind words. They help when all I hear is silence from agents, who supposedly know what is worthy or not.

    Have a surprisingly upbeat weekend, Roland

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  13. I don't think she'd appreciate pity, but I do feel for her. I believe she longs to be free, in spite of her nature. Oh, gotta dash. Just had an idea pop into my head about her!!!!

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  14. Words Crafter : She would like it that she inspires you. Fallen is like a jewel, many faceted and somewhere among them, though she would deny it, is compassion and a longing for friendship.

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