A MOTHER,
AND A WONDERFUL SPIRIT, CANDACE GANGER NEEDS HELP.
LET'S BE HEROES.
YOU WILL STAND TALLER WHEN YOU THINK BACK THAT WHEN THE CALL FOR HEROES WENT OUT, YOU WERE THERE.
HELP WITH WHAT YOU CAN. A PAYPAL BUTTON IS ON HER SITE :
http://themisadventuresincandyland.blogspot.com/2012/01/lower-than-rappers-pants.html
{"Even if you're on the right track,
you'll still get run over if you just sit there."
- Will Rogers.}
Ghost of Will Rogers here.
So there I was perched atop a bucking aurora borealis,
trying to loop my lariet over a shooting star, when the ghost of Samuel Clemens ambled by.
"Need a favor, Will."
"I'm kinda in the middle of something, Sam."
"It's about Roland."
"Why didn't you say so in the first place? He needs help?"
"More than we can give. But his friends could use some, Will."
"How so?"
"They seem all fired up about getting droves of followers."
"Well, Sam, they could rob a bank. It worked for Dillinger."
"Yeah, that worked out real well for him, didn't it? No, you dumb Okie. Followers on that bog thing-a-ma-gadget."
I slipped off the bucking aurora borealis and nudged back my Stetson.
"Blog, Sam. On the internet. I read the papers. Wrote 4,000 daily columns in my time."
"That's what I'm talking about, Will! You know how to write.
You know how to perform. Why Zigfield trusted you with his fillies on stage."
"Old Zig didn't trust himself, much less anyone else.
But I get your drift, Sam. I'll write a column on how to snag followers."
***
And so here I am. Don't let anyone fool you. There are no rules for success. But that won't stop me from giving them to you :
1.) An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Folks just naturally have more grief in their lives than they let on. They need an outlet.
You be that outlet. Make 'em laugh. You do that, and you'll have 'em coming back for more.
Or do you want to be a vegetable?
2.) Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
How do you do that, you say. Easy. Blow theirs.
You find a gal or a fella who writes what you like, quote 'em on your blog. Add them to your blog list.
Be neighborly. You're leaving a comment on someone else's blog and spot a comment from them, say "Hi" to them in yours.
Agree with them (especially if you do) in your comment. Make a party line of it. Friendliness is catching.
3.) Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
You have to experiment to get anything outstanding done. Look at me and Wiley Post. We flew over darn near the whole world.
My daily news columns put momentum in the science of aircraft design and public support. And yes, we died in a crash.
But both of us died with a friend. Not a bad way to go.
4.) Know your audience and give 'em what they want by speaking to their hurts.
I went and read some of the blogs of Roland's friends. You folks are dreamers. We need dreamers today. Too many folks nay-say on the dreams of others.
You support those dreams in your blogs. Talk about what fears you have and how you fight them. It'll make the other gal in the cyber-trenches not feel quite so alone.
How can you know your audience?
You know you, don't you? You know what you'd like to know about publishing. Research it. And then post what you found out -- with the links you went to.
Synposis. Sounds like one of those ancient Greek philosophers. And most of you would rather kiss an ancient Greek than write a synopsis.
Well, research that subject. You find anything that makes the thing less painful, you publish it. And I guarantee you that folks will flock to your blog.
Remember fellas, there are more women bloggers out there than men. Be polite when talking about ladies in general.
Speaking of which, I'm taking my Stetson off to Laila Knight. Forgive those hairy-legged gents, Ernest and Sam. They're just men. They don't know no better.
5.) Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
They call it the World Wide Web for a reason, folks. Think before you write. No "how many ______ does it take to change a tire?" Thing is, there are a lot of ______ out there no matter what _______ you're talking about.
An agent rejected you? Smarted some didn't it? I'd hold back on venting rage and spite on your blog. You jab in a knife, and you may pull it out, but the wound remains.
And remember a little thing called Google Alert. You rail about an agent, an editor, a fellow blogger --- that little gizmo will alert them. And there're a lot more of them than you.
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
*** So that's a little of what I know. I'm only a wandering cowpoke ghost. I mean, I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
And I've tried to be diplomatic. But I'm an Okie : to me being diplomatic is saying "Nice Doggie" until I can find a big enough rock.
One last thing : have, what is that phrase they use nowadays? Oh, yes, it comes to me now.
Have the back of each gal and fella you meet in your blog travels. Who knows? They may do the same for you.
***
you'll still get run over if you just sit there."
- Will Rogers.}
Ghost of Will Rogers here.
So there I was perched atop a bucking aurora borealis,
trying to loop my lariet over a shooting star, when the ghost of Samuel Clemens ambled by.
"Need a favor, Will."
"I'm kinda in the middle of something, Sam."
"It's about Roland."
"Why didn't you say so in the first place? He needs help?"
"More than we can give. But his friends could use some, Will."
"How so?"
"They seem all fired up about getting droves of followers."
"Well, Sam, they could rob a bank. It worked for Dillinger."
"Yeah, that worked out real well for him, didn't it? No, you dumb Okie. Followers on that bog thing-a-ma-gadget."
I slipped off the bucking aurora borealis and nudged back my Stetson.
"Blog, Sam. On the internet. I read the papers. Wrote 4,000 daily columns in my time."
"That's what I'm talking about, Will! You know how to write.
You know how to perform. Why Zigfield trusted you with his fillies on stage."
"Old Zig didn't trust himself, much less anyone else.
But I get your drift, Sam. I'll write a column on how to snag followers."
***
And so here I am. Don't let anyone fool you. There are no rules for success. But that won't stop me from giving them to you :
1.) An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Folks just naturally have more grief in their lives than they let on. They need an outlet.
You be that outlet. Make 'em laugh. You do that, and you'll have 'em coming back for more.
Or do you want to be a vegetable?
2.) Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
How do you do that, you say. Easy. Blow theirs.
You find a gal or a fella who writes what you like, quote 'em on your blog. Add them to your blog list.
Be neighborly. You're leaving a comment on someone else's blog and spot a comment from them, say "Hi" to them in yours.
Agree with them (especially if you do) in your comment. Make a party line of it. Friendliness is catching.
3.) Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
You have to experiment to get anything outstanding done. Look at me and Wiley Post. We flew over darn near the whole world.
My daily news columns put momentum in the science of aircraft design and public support. And yes, we died in a crash.
But both of us died with a friend. Not a bad way to go.
4.) Know your audience and give 'em what they want by speaking to their hurts.
I went and read some of the blogs of Roland's friends. You folks are dreamers. We need dreamers today. Too many folks nay-say on the dreams of others.
You support those dreams in your blogs. Talk about what fears you have and how you fight them. It'll make the other gal in the cyber-trenches not feel quite so alone.
How can you know your audience?
You know you, don't you? You know what you'd like to know about publishing. Research it. And then post what you found out -- with the links you went to.
Synposis. Sounds like one of those ancient Greek philosophers. And most of you would rather kiss an ancient Greek than write a synopsis.
Well, research that subject. You find anything that makes the thing less painful, you publish it. And I guarantee you that folks will flock to your blog.
Remember fellas, there are more women bloggers out there than men. Be polite when talking about ladies in general.
Speaking of which, I'm taking my Stetson off to Laila Knight. Forgive those hairy-legged gents, Ernest and Sam. They're just men. They don't know no better.
5.) Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
They call it the World Wide Web for a reason, folks. Think before you write. No "how many ______ does it take to change a tire?" Thing is, there are a lot of ______ out there no matter what _______ you're talking about.
An agent rejected you? Smarted some didn't it? I'd hold back on venting rage and spite on your blog. You jab in a knife, and you may pull it out, but the wound remains.
And remember a little thing called Google Alert. You rail about an agent, an editor, a fellow blogger --- that little gizmo will alert them. And there're a lot more of them than you.
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
*** So that's a little of what I know. I'm only a wandering cowpoke ghost. I mean, I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
And I've tried to be diplomatic. But I'm an Okie : to me being diplomatic is saying "Nice Doggie" until I can find a big enough rock.
One last thing : have, what is that phrase they use nowadays? Oh, yes, it comes to me now.
Have the back of each gal and fella you meet in your blog travels. Who knows? They may do the same for you.
***
Thank you for helping me to navigate a bit through this big bad world of blogging. I'm relatively new and often make mistakes, I appreciate your humor and tongue in cheek approach.
ReplyDeleteWill Rogers was a good man.
ReplyDeleteHe's made some valid points. Friendliness is catching. And wish there was a better path to good judgement then through all the bad judgement, but that's just one of those truths of life.
Hi Roland! I'm just catching up with the IWSG and I'm so glad to have found your site. What a wonderful blog you have! And, this is such a creative post, with great advice. Happy to be following you now, thanks for coming by my blog!
ReplyDeleteAwesome tips. I soooo need 'em. =)
ReplyDeleteFabulous post, as usual Roland...I am already learning so much from reading your blog! Thanks tons!
ReplyDeleteThis is 100% true (and so well written while telling it). I've had horrid experiences with agents, but I refuse to identify them because I don't want to become "that guy." No one wants to read a blog from a guy who only complains. Stay positive and don't bite the hand that feeds you, because agents, good or bad, like to stick together.
ReplyDeleteHeather :
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad. The tuition to living each day are the mistakes we make! Ouch! I'm so very happy I've made your beginning here in blogdom a bit easier!
Alex :
Yes, life gives the test first, then you get the lesson! Painful. Thanks for visiting and liking what you found. Thanks again for having my back.
Julie :
Yours is a delightful blog. I'm happy we both found each other's cyber-home. Do come visit again. You're very nice to enjoy my ghost-writers and their antics. William Faulkner's ghost pops up tomorrow with how to make what we write mean something.
E. :
The credit all goes to Will Rogers' ghost. (He made me say that! LOL.)
Eve :
Your visits and comments make me feel as if my efforts ... ouch! ... and my ghost friends' efforts are worth it. Come back, please.
A BEER FOR THE SHOWER :
Yes, you do not want to blackball yourself in such a close-knit profession. Brrrr. Thank you so much for staying to chat after visiting. It means a lot, Roland
I'm just beginning to find my way in the world of agents and publishers - I need all the help I can get!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post!
Well, the horned melon and the durian make me laugh and trying to get into a coconut is like a sit-com.
ReplyDeleteMan O' Clay :
ReplyDeleteI do not believe anyone ever learns the world of publishing well! Welcome to the struggle. May you have only victories!
SouthPaw :
Coconuts are just darn frustrating for me! You made me smile. Thanks, Roland
Great post. I especially like the one where you wrote (I'm paraphrasing)- good judgment comes when we learn from our bad experiences. So true. I just texted this to my middle son. Great words of wisdom.
ReplyDeleteNo words were truer said my friend. I have always believed in the courtesy of others. Manners are so lost in today's world.
ReplyDeleteA true gentleman or lady is very RARE... You, my friend, are one of those special men. Your advice and help of others is truly inspirational.
Thanks WIll and Sam for all the good advice. You gents know how to hold a reader's attention.
http://www.blogger.com/profile/02545646418936186653
ReplyDeleteRowland go enter that haiku you left on my blog on scouts blog (last weeks winner). She is hosting this week. The theme is nocturnal. It looks like a winner.
That's her blog link by the way.
ReplyDeleteAndrea :
ReplyDeleteI'm honored that you texted part of my post to you son. It made my evening. The tuition to wisdom is steep sometimes. Life gives the test first, then you receive the lesson!
Michael :
Good to see you here! Will tips his Stetson to you. And Sam just winks! I'm always happy when you comment!
Curmudgeon :
Thanks for the idea. I have submitted my haiku to Scout! Wish me luck.
For those of you who are wondering what haiku, it is the one Lady Meilori breathes up into the night as she stares heartsick into the endless depths between the stars :
Dreams drift like clouds.
I reach to touch the moon.
I grasp only night.
Roland, your post made me giggle this morning. You have no idea how much I needed that. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued by your blog, books on the sidebar, and the pure essence lingering around your cyber-home. I'm now following and thanks for your blogging tips. I need to constantly remind myself to be mindful of my manners, especially in the face of rejection. Although painful, there's a lesson to be learned from each and every one.
~Candy