So you can read my books

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


{"Sometimes I wonder

whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on

or by imbeciles who really mean it."

- Mark Twain.}

Ghost of Samuel Clemens here. While Roland is off running rare blood to all Creation, I've read his article on how to have a 1000 Followers.

I've even wandered over to his friends' blogs ---

who in tarnation named them that? Sounds like I'm going to sink in tar like one of those dinosaurs when I visit one.

Anyway, being the beloved literary genius that I am, I noticed a lot of you, like that Alex Cavanaugh fella, have been writing on how to get folks to like you,

to hang after you,

and to put their faces on your "wanted poster" as it were.


Be easy.

Be seductive, don't you know.

1.) What you learn by picking up a cat by the tail, you can learn in no other way.

In other words, learn by doing. Experiment. Gals do it all the time. That dress doesn't draw any whistles? Put on another.

Try something in your blog new and different. If no one comments, drop it faster than a politician does morals upon election.

2.) Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I mean, make your visitors laugh. Your blog is your home. Folks go where they feel comfortable, accepted, where they leave feeling better than when they came.

3.) Your blog is your Mini_Me novel. (And yes, even ghosts watch movies.)

And like in your novel, You need not expect to get your blog right the first time.

Write your post like you'd write a page in your novel.

Go to work and revamp or rewrite it.

God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives.

You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

The time to begin writing your post is when you have finished it to your satisfaction.

By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is that you really want to say.

4.) You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

By which, children, I mean to not have your visitors leave your blog with their mental faces all screwed up in distaste.

A.) No bragging. Not even if it's true.

B.) No slandering others not there. Not even if it's true. Don't make your guests squirm.

C.) Do help.

You know some of those literary potholes you twisted an ankle on? Point those out to those who follow after you. Make the road you walk easier for the next fella after you.

5.) It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

The same for your post. Your blog is the only YOU most folks will ever see. Make sure a first time visitor gets the best YOU that you can offer.

To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.

To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence, is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself...

Anybody can have ideas --

the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.

And that's all the wisdom I can presently conjure. I must have a prodigious quantity of mind :

it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. Don't be a stranger, hear? You don't want to miss my next brilliant gem of a post.


  1. This is excellent advice! Thanks for posting it! And Happy New Year Roland! ^_^

  2. Love the humor. I enjoy blogging and it's been interesting figuring out the best ME that I can offer to my bloggers. Thanks for the encouragement!

  3. Good to See You, T.D. :
    I can't claim credit for the great advise -- the ghost of Samuel Clemens believes in payback! LOL. May this new year be a great one for both of us! Come back now. Roland

    Jenna :
    The ghost of Samuel Clemens and I see our blog as our cyber-home and we want our visitors to feel comfortable, amused, and relaxed. I'm happy you got a laugh or two out of my efforts. Don't be a stranger, hear? Roland

  4. All good points, Sir!
    I aim to inform and amuse. Sometimes at my own expense.
    My blog is like my home. No fine China, no fancy decorations - just comfortable. And I want to keep it that way.

  5. Excellent Roland! All great points..I love Mark Twain, I think he said just about everything worth saying.

  6. Great post :D Twain's quotes are timeless.


  7. Tonja :
    The ghost of Samuel Clemens just smiled, "Why, of course. I wrote it, didn't I?" Then, he sent a ghost wink your way. LOL. He also sweeps off his hat, thanking you. Me, too.

    Thanks, Alex :
    We're kindred spirits in wanting to amuse, help, and entertain -- if the expense is to ourselves, then at least it aids our humility, right?

    Eve :
    The ghost of Samuel Clemens just blushed! He did seem to have the knack of making us smile, while having us reflect upon the human condition at the same time.

    Thank you, Jen :
    His thoughts do seem timeless, don't they?

  8. Hmmm...I've got some work to do on being seductive.

  9. I love the quote, "Anybody can have ideas...."

    I'm a new follower, great to meet you!

  10. Angela :
    Looking forward to your spotlight on LAST EXIT TO BABYLON and moi tomorrow! Yours is an excellent blog, Roland

    kmckendry :
    I'm so happy you followed. Mark Twain did have a way with expressing himself, didn't he? Please come back, Roland

  11. Thanks for stopping by my blog Roland, I adore your blog header! And this is such great advice. I agree about carefully written posts, and words in the right place - though my posts are often not as carefully thought through! Happy 2012 to you!

  12. Vanisha :
    My blog header is the art to my book, THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH, whose artist is Leonora Roy. Fantastic artist, isn't she? Our posts are the only US folks will ever see. But like you, some of my posts are not exactly gems as the ghost of Samuel Clemens pointedly reminds me! LOL. Happy 2012 to you, too. Please come back, Roland

  13. I think the 'do help' is the most important. Me. I so believe this...if I can help, I do. I hope most people do this :). It's what's life is about!

    And...not sure if it's okay to make a suggestion, but i found this had a really long load time, I imagine because of the complex blog header graphics and all the videos. Just something to be aware of. (I'm using a new iPad 2 and it took a good 40 seconds to load if that helps give you an idea). Anyway, I just wanted to pass this on. Could be just my wi-fi speed tho, so maybe test your own load time from a few different computers?

    It is a beautiful header, though!

  14. Angela :
    Thanks for the praise and for the helpful mention of the long load time.

    I do not think it is tied into my header. More than likely my book trailers or my revolving worlds or nation counter with the mountain eagle.

    It's a trade-off. The book traliers help sell my books. Especially now with Amazon acting up if you try to punch my title straight into their search box.

    Sigh. Technology hates me! Roland