Denise Covey and Francine Howarth
have given us the challenge to write a flash fiction based on I LOVE YOU BECAUSE ...
http://romanticfridaywriters.blogspot.com/
The post must be under 400 words and contain the title within the post.
{My entry is 390 words and comes from THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH,
detailing Victor's first meeting with the ghoul, Alice Wentworth, by the crypt of Marie Laveau at midnight.)
Alice murmured, “How did you read my thoughts, meal-about-to-be.”
“It must be some voodoo magic still clinging to Marie Laveau’s crypt.”
She took a step back. “How is that possible?”
I hitched myself up on a marble slab. “Pull up a seat. Maybe I can have you hear my thoughts.”
She sat beside me. I reached out and gently took her left hand and concentrated.
I stiffened as the swirling sea of her loneliness, her joy at being in touch with another hurt spirit swept me up.
I drew her into me, into my memories of burnt out ends of smoky days laced with violence, with the withered leaves of a thousand misunderstandings, and with the gropings of my heart to the uncaring hearts of others.
The autumn world of my days on the streets came rising up over the dark horizon of my loneliness. Lost friends, mocking enemies, the haunted eyes of Mother.
The yellowed papers of recollection curled up around us from Detroit, to Cleveland, to that strange bus ride to New Orleans.
The light of hope shot through the shutters of fear as images of me wandering lost through the madness that was Meilori’s. My losing everything as I decided that for Captain Sam to live I had to die.
The cry of Alice’s heart calling out to me as she struggled to escape her own private hell. Her spooky entrance into my life. My own loneliness reaching out to hers.
The circle completing its circuit. Resurfacing from the waters of our shared spirits. Our fingers parting. Her pale face looking at me haunted.
Alice was shivering. My head was spinning. Something was wrong with my heart.
It wasn’t empty anymore.
What had I done to me?
Maybe you couldn’t see, really see, into someone without it changing you. And you couldn’t show them the you that you really were without the two of you never being the same anymore.
I looked into her strange eyes. My heart skipped a beat. Her eyelids lowered. Her hand softened around mine.
A wild thought came to me.
I brought her cold hand up to my lips and kissed it.
Alice’s lower lip trembled. “How could you?”
“C-Could I what?”
“Turn out so special?”
Black tears welled in her eyes. “Love is not blind, Victor, rather it sees what others cannot.”
***
have given us the challenge to write a flash fiction based on I LOVE YOU BECAUSE ...
http://romanticfridaywriters.blogspot.com/
The post must be under 400 words and contain the title within the post.
{My entry is 390 words and comes from THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH,
detailing Victor's first meeting with the ghoul, Alice Wentworth, by the crypt of Marie Laveau at midnight.)
Alice murmured, “How did you read my thoughts, meal-about-to-be.”
“It must be some voodoo magic still clinging to Marie Laveau’s crypt.”
She took a step back. “How is that possible?”
I hitched myself up on a marble slab. “Pull up a seat. Maybe I can have you hear my thoughts.”
She sat beside me. I reached out and gently took her left hand and concentrated.
I stiffened as the swirling sea of her loneliness, her joy at being in touch with another hurt spirit swept me up.
I drew her into me, into my memories of burnt out ends of smoky days laced with violence, with the withered leaves of a thousand misunderstandings, and with the gropings of my heart to the uncaring hearts of others.
The autumn world of my days on the streets came rising up over the dark horizon of my loneliness. Lost friends, mocking enemies, the haunted eyes of Mother.
The yellowed papers of recollection curled up around us from Detroit, to Cleveland, to that strange bus ride to New Orleans.
The light of hope shot through the shutters of fear as images of me wandering lost through the madness that was Meilori’s. My losing everything as I decided that for Captain Sam to live I had to die.
The cry of Alice’s heart calling out to me as she struggled to escape her own private hell. Her spooky entrance into my life. My own loneliness reaching out to hers.
The circle completing its circuit. Resurfacing from the waters of our shared spirits. Our fingers parting. Her pale face looking at me haunted.
Alice was shivering. My head was spinning. Something was wrong with my heart.
It wasn’t empty anymore.
What had I done to me?
Maybe you couldn’t see, really see, into someone without it changing you. And you couldn’t show them the you that you really were without the two of you never being the same anymore.
I looked into her strange eyes. My heart skipped a beat. Her eyelids lowered. Her hand softened around mine.
A wild thought came to me.
I brought her cold hand up to my lips and kissed it.
Alice’s lower lip trembled. “How could you?”
“C-Could I what?”
“Turn out so special?”
Black tears welled in her eyes. “Love is not blind, Victor, rather it sees what others cannot.”
***
That was moving!
ReplyDeleteNobody does the angsty lovin' like you, Ro. (=
ReplyDeleteTagged you for a meme-- check it out if you have the time, brother.
http://jostorm.blogspot.com/2012/03/lucky-sevens.html
Alex :
ReplyDeleteThank you. That means a lot coming from you.
Jo :
Thank you for the very kind compliment. I guess those bruises on my heart did something worthwhile! :-) I'm heading to your blog right now, Roland -- thanks!
Dear Roland,
ReplyDeleteVictor and Alice are a very special couple. Love the description of how Victor feels changed after holding Alice' hand. Loves comes from really understanding the other person.
Lovely.
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's RFWers Challenge No.33 'I love you because...'
Love this excerpt, Roland!
ReplyDeleteAnna :
ReplyDeleteWhile Victor thinks it is the magic of voodoo that lets him share his heart, it is the strange magic of his eerie mother matched with the loneliness inside two special hearts. Thanks for liking my post.
Trisha :
Thank you. It is one of my favoirte snippets of the story of Alice and Victor, Roland
To me, this is the essence of your post: "Maybe you couldn’t see, really see, into someone without it changing you. And you couldn’t show them the you that you really were without the two of you never being the same anymore."
ReplyDeleteI read the post a second time as I listened to the video. Ok, twice, cuz I loved the music as it relates to the sentiment of your prose.
Absolutely beautiful Roland. My heart weeps for Alice and Victor.
.......dhole
Wow! Gripping!
ReplyDeleteWow Roland! Your last line is very thought provoking and deep. Great piece. Loved your take on the theme and the mind reading elements you explore. I enjoyed reading it (though my eyes are just not keen on black backgrounds and white writing so generally avoid them).
ReplyDeleteMy first time stopping by here and wow I really enjoyed that small piece of writing. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteThat was really touching.
ReplyDeleteDonna :
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your words. Sometimes I feel as if I am a mine playing to a world of the blind. My fault entirely. But you saying you read this twice made me feel as if Alice and Victor live for someone else besides me. Thank you for that! And (hangs head guiltily) I had hoped others would read my post accompanied to the music. I did. Twice, too. :-) Roland
Talli:
Thanks so much for saying so! It makes my morning.
Madeleine:
Sorry about my white on black. It has been with me so long that I would ache to part with it. I know. Your eyes ache, reading it!! Thank you for liking this post. Victor blows you a kiss (when Alice wasn't looking!) LOL.
sunshinegrace:
Do please come back. I am glad you enjoyed your first visit!
L. Diane:
I am really glad you found it touching. It is one of my favorite scenes between Alice and Victor. Roland
Gosh, I loved this piece too. Nicely written and I like the voice, its softer than usual methinks. ;)
ReplyDeleteHello Roland.
ReplyDeleteThis is profound. Loved the music...have seen the movie a few times too.
Nice ntry for the theme.
Thanks for sharing.
My Darling Bride
Hi,
ReplyDeleteTwo hearts as one, every thought an open book! So loved this snippet because it reveals a lot about its creator... ;)
best
F.
BTW: RFW is Denise' baby. I'm no longer involved in admin. Just another member like yourself. Unlike you, though, I haven't posted as often as I should have. Did manage a snippet from semi-autobiography. Time is so short when pumping out books for publication... :o
Absolutely beautiful, Roland. You, my friend, have the gift of words! I also loved the music and the emotion of the whole thing! BRAVO!
ReplyDeleteHi Roland
ReplyDeleteI loved the line, "meat soon to be." From there you take your character and engulf her into Victor. The entire description of this captured me. I loved it so much I posted to Facebook. Hope someone new comes over from there.
Nancy
Roland, you really do have a wonderful way with words.
ReplyDeleteFantastic!
Talei:
ReplyDeleteStill at work, but your words made my weariness lighter to bear. Victor's voice is always softer when with Alice. When confronting enemies, he puts up a bold, uncaring front.
Andy :
I, like you, have always loved this music (and the movie.) Haven't you noticed that some people are so beautiful on the inside that the longer you know them the prettier they appear to you?
Francine:
I know all too well how much time writing a novel can siphon from you -- add to that a job such as blood courier .... Whew!!
My prayers and thoughts are with Denise since the yoke to this helm has fallen to her! Francine, thanks for sucy nice words, Roland
Jack:
Your comment put a big smile on my face. Sometimes I begin to doubt my ability with words. Have a great weekend!
Nancy:
I'm without words at the kind generosity of posting this on Facebook! Sometimes I feel like I am at the bottom of the internet well with only echoes as company. You truly made my evening!! Thank you, Roland
Thank you, Wendy :
Victor's lonely heart just took over so I guess the credit all belongs to hurt, lonely, but bold-fronted Victor. Thanks again!
Hi Roland. A tremendously powerful entry. We can't get enough of Victor and Alice. I really missed them in Blood Will Tell! So many great lines.
ReplyDeleteYes it is very time consuming running RFW alone but our mutual precious diamond of a friend Donna gives me a hand.
Don't forget you get to vote for your favourite story or poem this week but you have to read and comment on all entries first! This will show you how hard it is for mere mortals to choose!
And thanks Roland for posting each prompt. I value your loyalty and friendship.
Denise
I love your prompts. I did it first just to help out two friends with a new idea. Now, I like it for the challenge. I am so over-worked at the blood center (still there in fact) that visiting all the entries is something I cannot do. So like Victor, I race for the fun not the prize! :-)
ReplyDeleteHopefully, you'll find great lines from Victor and Alice in their new adventure, THE RIVAL, coming out soon.
A really nice, emotional snippet.
ReplyDeleteLump... In ... My .... Throat... blub. Gorgeous snippet! Lx
ReplyDelete