So you can read my books

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


{Meilori's image courtesy of Leonora Roy}
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience,
but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

- Woody Allen

Sex does help. Just not the way you might think.

Sex sells.

You roll your eyes and go, "Duh!"

Yes, sex does sells ...

but not always for the reasons you might think.

Men, of course, are hard-wired to see a beautiful woman and have their hormones go into a conga line ( )

But we men are more complex than the cliches written in COSMOPILITAN.

Sex. Lust. Love.

The first two are primal instincts. The third gives birth to legend and magic.

Every writer is in much of his work. But it is not as straight-forward as that.

J.R.R. Toilken rarely, if ever, wrote love scenes. Instead, he wrote distantly of Love, the concept with which Tennyson teased but never consummated in THE IDYLLS OF THE KING.

He was a shy man, and it shows in what he chose NOT to write.

He reflected his times -- as we must reflect ours in what we write and for whom we write.

But for whom do we write? And what exactly are "our" times?

We live in a lonely age.

From teenager on up, we feel outside, misunderstood, and alone -- the three labor pains that give birth to the possibility of love.

A reader is drawn to a novel by what is lacking in her/his life.

We've already touched on some of the things most people feel lacking in their lives. It can be summed up in one word : intimacy --

Sex is only the tip of that iceberg floating in the existential void of our modern times. There is much more beneath the murky surface.

How many of us feels valued, loved for who we truly are - bulges, skin blemishes, and other imperfections not withstanding?

Not many.

How many of us have such passion and fire in the night that we tingle in the morning light?

Even fewer.

Many of us settle for half-relationships, tepid gropings in the dark that leave us feeling empty, not full, the morning after.

Why is that?

In the process of love-making, we leave a bit of ourselves with the other.

 If we make love without feeling love, the other fails to leave a bit of themselves within us.

Inside we have become less ... not more. Do that enough times and a void is carved within us.

That is why we have become the Hollow People, seeking to fill that emptiness within with all the wrong things:

Sex without satisfaction.

Passion without permanence.

Lust wearing the mask of love.

What did Martin Luther King write?

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 

We all long for that handsome, beautiful Other who will tenderly stroke our cheek,

fan the fires of our passions,

and fill our hearts and head with the laughter of two souls meant for each other.

Romance. Magic. Love.

Those are the stars a winning author steers by.

Fix them to your mast, and you will never go wrong.


  1. What a beautifully written post! I think you hit on some very important points, too, but I just liked to read it for the prose. I agree - intimacy is so much more important that sex or love. The need in humans for relationship and connection is a strong one!

  2. Hollow sure know how to put a fine point on things.

  3. Love Madeleine Peyroux's voice, to me she sounds like a young Billie Holiday. Thanks for the musical interlude.

    I don't intend to follow trends, but I do include relationships in my scifi and mystery.

  4. I think you explained perfectly why sex without love can be so damaging to ourselves, that it leaves us feeling empty.


  5. Lara:
    Just got back from a long, grueling midnight blood run. And your compliment about my prose made my evening.

    Sometimes when life is too much, a hug can heal without demanding. I'm glad you liked my post.

    I see all too many hollow people with eyes even more empty. You, too, made my evening.

    Madeleine reminds me a bit of Billie Holiday, too. I have her listening to the ghost of Billie Holiday in FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE. You and I need to set our own trends, right?

    I grieve for my friends who have not learned that lesson. Thanks for making my late evening better! Roland

  6. Well said, Roland. I agree with what the other commentators have said. My little point would be that emotional intimicacy makes a relationship last and endure through the difficult times as well as whereas physical intimacy is great but often short lived. You must do a lot of thinking on your blood runs.

  7. Great post Roland, as usual. It's strange that as the world gets smaller we seem to feel more alone. I don't think the human race was meant for happiness, it's something some of us strive for, but we don't ever truly attain it, which is why we end up filling the void with poor substitutes.

  8. Wow, you nailed it, Roland! Yes, sex is great, but sex by itself only satisfies the physical. We need more.

  9. Sally:
    Exactly. Roman Candles may be fun, but they soon fizzle. And yes, when the twin spears of my headlights pierce the night then stop only inches from the hood, I find my mind roaming deep questions.

    All too true: while the world grows smaller, people seem to grow more distant from one another. Happiness is a by-product I think of living beyond ourselves.

    And so few find that more sadly. Thanks for visiting, Roland

  10. Now I have to read French Quarter Nocturne, but I wanted to anyway. I'm still reading your Ghost of a Chance (only partly for the contest), and Burnt Offerings.

    BTW - haven't received the prize you mailed, but it could be stuck at the border.

  11. Siv:
    Thanks. You changed your avatar yet once again. Nice one.

    Actually McCord meets Madeleine in CREOLE KNIGHTS now that I recall it. But FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE comes first.

    Jeremy(Retro-Zombie) got his prize last week. Let me know if you do not receive it within the next few days. I will try and see what I can do. Roland