So you can read my books

Saturday, July 5, 2014


Sssh! Food Guy is sleeping.The big wuss. So he had a itty bitty piece of his ear cut off. 

Look what it did for Van Gogh!

I died, and you don't catch me moaning. 

Except at midnight by the mastiff in the apartment below us.  I love the way he shrieks like a little girl.

I thought Food Guy's fever of 102 degrees made a warm pillow of his forehead for me.

He whined so much about going to work for one little day that I left a wedge of cheese for him on his pillow.

And did he appreciate my joke of giving him cheese with his whine?

No, he did not.

Does he appreciate me curling up on his chest for added weight resistance as he huffs through his sit-up's?

(Snicker! Ghosts can weight what they want.  So guess how heavy I want to be when I'm on top of his chest?)

No, he does not.

Does he appreciate my feline criticism as I paw at the keys as he types?

Of course not.

My words would be magical.  His just lay there like stale tuna, as pretty as road-kill and about as tasty.

And all those literary ghosts who insist on ruining our sleep?

What's up with that?

Ernest Heminway. Raymond Chandler. Mark Twain,

well I like him ... he knows where I like my ears scratched.

But if that Frost guy shows up again, droning on about which road to pick, I'll pick one for him all right ...

the one that leads to the door!

And so help me if Dr. Seuss dares to show his ghostly face, I'll barf up a furball in his green eggs and ham!

If you out there wonder where Food Guy gets all the great ideas, look no further than this ghostly gypsy princess.

The lousy ones, of course, are all his.
Another mindless movie Food Guy will probably see and ... sigh ... enjoy:


  1. Gypsy will always be there to keep you company.
    And you obviously fed her well if she regards you as Food Guy.

  2. Alex:
    I fed her Star-Kist Tuna! Of course, she thinks of me as Food Guy. I even had her star in a couple of chapters of GHOST OF A CHANCE. :-)

  3. Much as I love my cats, and indeed all cats, I am grateful that they don't have opposable thumbs. If Jazz (who graciously shares our home) did, there would be a revolution. And not the bloodless kind.
    Look after the food guy please Gypsy. It is a lesson he hasn't learnt well.

  4. Elephant's Child:
    Give my best to Jazz (love that name for a cat). Gypsy is too much of a grouch to look after me. :-) Ouch! I just got swatted by a ghost cat.

  5. There is nothing finer than a feline to look over your shoulder and tell you what you did wrong. (in life, in writing, etc)

    Hope the healing continues and the pain abates.