DON'T LOSE YOUR DINOSAUR

Hibbs, the cub with no clue, here:

So what with Ebola, that terrible Gaza stuff going on, and Toledo, Ohio's water contaminated with this Mycrocystin yuck that poisoned it ...

I decided you guys needed something different.


So I interviewed Kanye West at Meliori's --


Hibbs:

Hello, Mr. Kanye.


Kanye:

What is this?  Are you disrespecting me?  Is this some kind of put-down?  A talking bear?


Hibbs:

A cub actually.  And Captain Sam promised not to shoot you if you gave me this interview.


Kanye:

Oh ... I got compassion for little things like you.  I'll do the 'view.


Kanyne (Looking around):

This place is weird.  I could saw that bar in half and make things look righteous.


Hibbs:

I get sick at the sight of blood, and gunshots hurt my ears.  Please don't do that. 

Ah, what with things like this Ebola virus, I thought people might want to know what you think about it.


Kanye:

Like they said in Step Brothers: Never lose your dinosaur. This is the ultimate example of a person never losing his dinosaur.

Meaning that even as I grew in cultural awareness and respect and was put higher in the class system in some way for being this musician, I never lost my dinosaur.

So I would tell folks not to lose their dinosaur.


Hibbs (wrinkling his muzzle):

English isn't your first language, is it, sir?


Kanye:

You don't understand me, do you?


Hibbs:

Does anyone?


Kanye:

I don't have fangs. I'm a porcupine.  I'm not a shark, I'm a blowfish. So that perfect example about me not being understood, it's like a blowfish. 

People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people.


Hibbs (Scratching his head):

You say stuff like that just to give me a headache, right?


Kanye:

You're a paparazzi, aren't you?


Hibbs:

I can't even say it much less be it.


Kanye:

Celebrities are being treated like blacks were in the '60s, having no rights, and the fact that people can slander your name.


Hibbs:

I have too much trouble getting into trouble without saying lies about people ... if that is what a papa-pizza is.


Kanye:

What you need is Kim K skills.  In order to win at life, you need some Kim K skills, period.


Hibbs (his head cocking):

And just exactly what is her skill set, sir?


(Kanye just looks at him)  Hibbs, clearing his throat:

Ah, are you happy?


Kanye:

What makes me happy is land, and we're on a boat now. This is Christopher Columbus. This is uncharted waters we're on.


Hibbs (digging into his ears, hoping to understand better what he is hearing):

You mean this Ebola scare, right?


Kanye:

I'm totally weird, and I'm totally honest, and I'm totally inappropriate sometimes.

And the thing is, for me to say I wasn't a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.


Hibbs (muttering):

Does everyone picture duct tape over your mouth so early in the conversation?


Kanye:

Were you involved with anything last year that was as culturally significant as the Yeezus tour or that album?   You just a hairy furball.


Hibbs:

I've been called worse by better.  But thank you for making Ebola not seem so bad anymore. 

Do you think there might be a market

for a small children's book

on new adventures of

Hibbs, the cub with no clue?