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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

HOW TO SURVIVE EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES




How to you spot Emotional Vampires?


Like the cliched fictional vampires, they tend to blend in, all smiles and apparent friendliness.

You spot them as you would a cliched fictional vampire:


1.) THEY ARE UNDEAD

Translation: they are not self-sufficient. 

They take emotional energy from others, for they do not know how to take emotional care of themselves.

Since they are always running on low in emotional energy, they have none to spare to give others.


2.) COLD TO THE TOUCH

In interpersonal exchanges, they usually are cold and distant though the face smiles.  

They are lacking in personal energy and so get defensive if they sense you might ask something of them.


3.) USUALLY HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE

They have been able to get by in life without giving because their sexual allure and dominating presence 

to get what they want by unstated promises of something worthwhile to come.


4.)  MANIPULATIVE

They hunger for attention and will get it by forcing their way into the center of focus.  

Passive aggressive maneuvers such as emotional blackmail or bullying are their stock in trade.


5.) LIVE IN THE SHADOWS

They will often be the first to rush to someone hurting in need, not to help, 

but to gain a Renfield to serve them in the future.


6.) HAVE A DARK PRESENCE

Because they are low in emotional energy, they often appear dark, mean, and brooding -- 

or leave you feeling that way if you have spent too much time with them, leeching you.


7.) THEY HAVE NO REFLECTION

They don't like themselves or who they see in the mirror, so they continually wear a mask to hide themselves from themselves and you.  

They cannot handle criticism or authentic affection (without thought of gain) from others.


HOW TO SURVIVE THEM


1) LEAVE THEIR PRESENCE AS SOON AS YOU CAN 

That is often not possible.  Then what? 

 Only spend a short time with them.  Find ways to limit exposure to them.


2.) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Exercise.  Eat right.  Do things that re-charge your emotional batteries. 


3.) TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

Feel drained whenever they're around?  Guess what?  You have a vampire on your hands.  

Value your emotions and yourself.  Take time to reflect how to do the two above approaches to survival.


4.) HAVE THE SELF RESPECT TO SAY "NO"

Set boundaries of acceptable actions and words from them.  Distance yourself from them at least within your thoughts,  

They are damaged, not you.


5.) TAKE TIME TO PLAY

It will build inner reserves of emotional strength and inner distance from their attacks.


6.) BE OPEN AND AFFECTIONATE TO POSITIVE PEOPLE

Smile, hug, shake hands with whole people.  Their company will re-new you.


9 comments:

  1. Oh so true, they drain the life right out of you! I had a neighbor once that was one. Gads, but I would need a nap after talking - or rather listening to her. There's never really a conversation is there?

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  2. They're emotional starving and never happy. What a sad way to live. Yes, just run away. Run away, run away!

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  3. If only garlic, or staking them would work. That wonderful (and underused word) No, is a start....

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  4. Holly:
    I had a similar neighbor. She was one of the reasons I went into Psychology actually!

    Alex:
    If you cannot run, at least limit your time with them as much as possible! Ouch!

    Elephant's Child:
    NO is certainly a first step, right?

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  5. I have been calling people this for years. Good to know I'm not the only one who believes in them. Limiting exposure has been my primary weapon.

    - Eric

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  6. Eric:
    Sometimes limiting exposure is the only avenue we have and realizing they are the damaged ones and not us! :-)

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  7. SO spot on. We waste so much time on those suckers.

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  8. Teresa:
    They grow stronger while we grow weaker, right? Run do not walk away from them! :-)

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  9. Hi Roland ... yes distance ourselves, if not cut them off - taking care of us is the only way to survive ... and spreading happiness and positivity (hope) as we go ... cheers Hilary

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