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Thursday, July 14, 2011

SURRENDER TO THE MONSTER_Friday's ROMANTIC CHALLENGE



Friday's ROMANTIC CHALLENGE given by Francine & Denise is SURRENDER. http://fridaynightwriters.blogspot.com/


My 400 word entry is SURRENDER TO THE MONSTER.

It is from LOVE LIKE DEATH.



{Last Friday, Fallen, to save her love from the dreaded Sennacherib, left Blake to starve chained to a tree.

But evil will not be denied. Sennacherib visits Blake wearing the form of a friend. Blake follows his instructions on how to use his mind to escape the chains.

With unspeakable pain, Blake finds himself free …

of his now lifeless body.

He has become an invisible spirit. Laughing softly, Sennacherib disappears. Then, Blake hears two people approaching through the woods. He hears the furious voice of Philip Darius, Fallen’s only living friend.}



"I can't believe you, Fallen. You left him out here to die?"

" I- I am back."

"Only because I browbeat you. What were you thinking?"

"Of sparing him!"

"Sparing him? By leaving him to die alone?"

“It was about mercy!"

"No, it was about trust."

"Trust?"

"You didn't trust Blake to be able to stand up to Sennacherib."

"You are wrong. I saved him from the hell Sennacherib planned for him."

"Really, Fallen? Maybe this and you were the punishment Sennacherib had planned all along?"

"Wh-What?"

"Think about it. He's actually been happy these past three days."

"Sennacherib would have accused me."

"Why? You did exactly what he planned all along.”

Philip rasped, "I can't think of a worse way to die than to slowly starve with the memory of you saying, ‘Oh, Blake, I do love you. Here, let me leave you here!"

"H-He forgave me."

I heard the slap. "You bitch! I'm sure he did. Pray to God he's still alive."

They broke out of the dense overgrowth into the glade. Philip looked furious. And Fallen? I don’t have the words.

She was dressed in a long black Victorian/fae shroud. No last look at those pretty legs. Her high cheeks were hollow, but not as hollow as her green slanted eyes. Her face brightened as she saw me, ah, my body.

"Blake! Did you really think I would leave ---"

"No!," she screamed.

Philip stood rock still. "My God, Fallen, what have you done?"

Fallen raced to me. She wrapped her arms around my lifeless body.

"B-Blake, it is me. Fallen. I - I came back for you. Oh, God, I came back for you!"

Philip watched coldly as she softly stroked my face. “Please, come back to me. It has only been three days. You cannot be dead."

Philip tore Fallen from my body. Caught by surprise, she fell to the ground. She lay there, staring up at the twisted face of her only friend.

"Get away from him, you piece of filth!"

"P-Philip?"

"I've wasted years looking out for you. I tried to keep Sennacherib from turning you into a monster."

He hung his head. "I give up, Fallen. I surrender to the monster inside you."

"It has not been that long," she wailed.

Philip snapped, "Don’t you get it? He didn't starve to death. He died of a broken heart!"

Fallen whimpered.

***
With Blake, being Blake, it gets even worse for him, Fallen, and Darius. But you'll have to read LOVE LIKE DEATH to find out.

***

17 comments:

  1. Oh, thats heartbreaking. The wrong thing for the 'right' reasons?

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  2. Your excerpts are like adrenaline rushes!

    This is so sad. I almost feel sorry for Fallen...almost...she did leave poor Blake to starve, and Blake, guess there's no happy outcome for him either?

    "To Where You Are" - first time I'm hearing it. A very nice song.

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  3. Sarah :
    The wrong thing for the 'right' reasons?

    Yes, that seems to be the story of poor Fallen's life.

    Heaven :
    Sad but that is not the end of the story -- it never is for hearts that refuse to quit.

    Andy :
    Now, you can understand somewhat why Blake cannot bring himself to hate Fallen -- though that refusal brings him heartache from Kirika, who cannot understand.

    Blake finds moments of happiness with both Fallen and Kirika after this since he refuses to give up on either of them.

    Isn't this Josh Groban song beautiful, Andy? I'm still at work, and I have to run, Roland

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  4. Oh yeah; this is the perfect scene to expose both the overall and character plots of the novel.

    Blake's surrender to death at the hands of love is proof that there is no love without pain and sacrifice.

    Your characters are so vividly drawn in pain, betrayal, and want, Roland; it makes me feel guilty for wanting anything of traditional contentment and the elusive entrapment of happiness.

    Absolutely; you captured the essence of surrender in this excerpt. Blake has surrendered his life to fulfill the wish of his lover; that he die at her hands, not at the whim of the man who has bound her as slave. Death is enevitable; and by accepting his death by the hand of his beloved, he has also taken control of the manner and time of his death.

    Well done with the theme of the challenge.

    ........dhole

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  5. Hi,

    Surrender has so many connotations and your interpretation has again blown my mind! The depth of love portrayed unimaginable!

    Lovely piece, Roland.

    Hee Hee, I went for sensual tease!

    best
    F

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  6. Wow, intensely saddening...

    A fresh take on surrender. I like it.

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  7. Id like to invite everyone to read a blog post today of a woman who joined the old order Mennonite church from the outside. I'm extremely lucky in publishing her very first, and most likely last post on Amish Stories. A lot of work was involved in her getting permission to be even able to write anything on the internet, and permission was given by her bishop. So please stop by and read about a woman who gave-up her car and other worldly possessions for the person that she loved. Richard from Amish Stories.

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  8. Roland

    It's too early in Nebraska for you to break my heart. How sad is that. Seriously, give him CPR, bring him back to life. Ooh, wait, give him blood. I guess I'll have to check out the book if I want to know how it ends. :)

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  9. Very cool names! Not sure about the stuttering, is that part of the character? Looks like I'll need to go back and read some previous Fridays to enjoy the full impact of this surrender!

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  10. Oh wow! So sad, she thought she was doing the right thing but now she's lost him, and her only friend too. My mind is still trying to wrap itself around this.

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  11. Donna :
    Thanks for liking my selection of what to pick for SURRENDER. Blake represents all of us as we reach out to other hearts, not truly knowing their thoughts, their inner demons.

    As Blake told Fallen last Friday : life is so short and fragile that it makes sense to grasp what happiness we find when we do stumble upon it.

    I like it that you saw my trying to lace my words with the thought that love is surrender, a surrendering of our aims to help, heal, or just bring a smile to those we love.

    Have a great end of week, Roland

    Francine :
    There's nothing wrong in sensual tease. In fact, something along those lines with Kirika, from THE PATH BACK TO DAWN, was my other choice for this day's theme.

    Your entry was lovely, by the way, Roland

    Kiru Taye :
    I am so glad you enjoyed my excerpt. And thanks for following!

    Laila :
    I am so happy that you liked my excerpt ... and Blake. He is a fighter - and of the many things he knows how to do, giving up is not one of them.

    I think you would enjoy the book, LOVE LIKE DEATH.

    Ruth :
    Intense emotion can cause even the most articulate of us to stammer in the face of it. I think you will enjoy past Fridays.

    Paula :
    Fallen's life is often like a Greek tragedy. But hers is a heart that will not quit, even though bruised. Have a great weekend, Roland

    Work has called me in early, so I must be off! Roland

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  12. Roland, thank you. I accidentally conveyed my heartfelt appreciation to Amazon. You've really lifted my spirits. Been feeling kinda blue of late (only one day but that's a lot for me.) Thanks for being my friend too. :) Have a great weekend.

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  13. I like the twists. You can really corkscrew the reader with the plot.

    Your dialogue pops the story into life.

    - Eric

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  14. I'm enjoying the twists too, but the heartbreak line was...heartbreaking.

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  15. This seems a surrender to death, but since Blake continues to exist as a spirit, perhaps he will follow a new path rather than totally succumb to the finality.

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  16. What a MC does should always backfire or make things worse - at least until the final moment - and you've certainly accomplished that here. Poor Blake, a spectating spector.

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