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Friday, March 30, 2012

DRIVING IN THE POURING RAIN TAUGHT ME HOW TO WRITE A QUERY

The art of driving in the pouring rain is much like writing a query.

Yes.

There are similarities between the two.

For instance, the question :

SHE DOES SEE ME, DOESN'T SHE?

The truth? No. No, she doesn't.

In her mind's eye, she sees the face of her friend as she's talking into her Bluetooth headset. By the dashboard clock, she sees that she's 10 minutes late. In the rearview mirror, she sees the bouncing image of her lips as she tries to apply lipstick without ending up looking like Bozo the Clown.

But you? You she doesn't see.

Not to worry. Just drive as if everyone around you is going to do the stupidest thing imaginable, and you'll be just fine.

THE AGENT TO WHOM YOU'RE WRITING DOESN'T SEE YOU EITHER.

She sees the precious sleep she's missing by reading query after query into the wee hours of the morning.

She sees the worst pieces of prose from past queries that stick like cockle burrs in her mind.

She sees the long list of things she has to do the next day on less sleep that she wanted.

She sees the sad face of that editor saying "No" to her earlier in the day when she was so sure he was going to say "yes."

She sees the mounting bills she has to pay ... BUT SHE DOESN'T SEE YOUR QUERY ... at least not clearly.

What do you do?

With a driver, you honk the horn. With a weary agent, you reach out and shake her awake to truly see your query for what it hopefully is : engaging and intriguing.

How? However you do it, you have to do it in 10 seconds. That's how long you have before her routine of "Wax on; wax off" is finished. Actually, it's read, yawn, reject.

For you to get through to her, it has to be a one - two punch. Hook of a title. Then, wham! A fascinating one paragraph summation:

PROJECT POPE : Robot priests construct their own Pope in their search for God. Then, the unimaginable happens. They find Him. {The classic by Clifford D. Simak.}

2nd Way Querying is like driving in the pouring rain :

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DO A THING DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD.

Hundreds of thousands of drivers die needlessly each year by insisting on driving the speed limit in blinding rain.

In writing a query, you have fantastic leeway. You can write in any voice you choose. Frivolous. Condescending. Antagonistic. Suicidal, oh I repeat myself.

Your query is a business interview. Treat it as such and treat the agent as the potential employer. Be professional. Follow her website's guidelines. And show respect.

3rd Way Querying is like driving in the pouring rain :

YOU HAVE TO ALWAYS KEEP THE BIG PICTURE IN MIND :

In driving that is looking past the hood to at least 200 feet ahead of you. Flick your eyes from side to side to prevent nasty surprises. Keep looking at the rearview mirror to see what may be charging right at you.

In Querying :
Keep in mind the ultimate goal : intriguing the agent enough for her to want to read more.

You don't have to cram 500 pages of story into one page. In essence, you're writing a movie trailer. Remember the latest movie trailer you saw. Did it give the whole story? No. It teased, giving you the hero, the antagonist, and a glimpse of humor and danger.

Now, get to teasing those agents.

I've always loved this song :


7 comments:

  1. Great analogy, Roland! Especially liked all the reasons drivers don't see other cars.

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  2. I love this because it's a very clear analogy of how (and why) to be professional. Great job!

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  3. Fantastic post. You explain it so well. I always drive cautiously. Perhaps I need to learn the equivalent of flashing my lights in a query.

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  4. Bro, does this mean you are querying! I sure hope so. I'd love to see you on a wider distribution list.

    Have you read the book The Art of Driving in the Rain? Recommend if you haven't. It's written largely from a dog's POV.

    Which, ironically, highlights your horn-honk verily.

    That swap of POV was a great hook, honk, ruff-ruff wake-up for the agent.

    Title is the most important, along with the first sentence. If we bloggers haven't learned at least that much, we're hopeless! Got to keep em reading!


    - Eric

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  5. Alex:
    Yes, I've seen that particular rear-view mirror woman all too many times! LOL.

    Lara:
    Thanks. Glad you liked this post. Professional is what we must be since we are actually applying for a job in a sense! :-)

    Christine:
    Love your own analogy of flashing your lights in a query!!

    Eric:
    I'll have to look up that book! I agree with you on that first sentence in a query. Sadly, I have given up on any agent accepting me. My novels are not sparkly vampires or hunk werewolves or domiatrix chicks in leather and attitude. The publishing industry is running scared, keeping to the status quo to publish something that is different. Thanks for the well wishes though!! :-) Roland

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  6. Hi Roland .. no breakfast for any of the drivers, or coffee to keep them awake ... people are crazy aren't they. But the analogies work well - just glad if the agent rejects me, rather than the car crashing!

    Cheers .. keep on writing keep on writing .. 24/7 ... Hilary

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  7. I like the analogy used.

    Breaking through can be tough, but I think you've listed some right on target advice.

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