― Hyman G. Rickover
“The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks;
The long day wanes; the slow moon climbs; the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends.
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world."
― Alfred Tennyson
Many fantasies spin stories of a young person whose fate is to save the world. World War II was not like that. I believe no real world-threatening crisis ever comes down to one person.
In CARNIVAL OF THE DAMNED, 13 year old Victor Standish risks his life, his soul to spare the suffering of one dying panther and a heart-broken woman the world calls freak.
Yes, I have decided to set sail into the dark void whose reefs promise only shipwreck and submit to Amazon Publishing’s Kindle Serials program.
Here is my Pitch -- What do you think of it?
CARNIVAL OF THE DAMNED
We
want to believe that what we do matters.
Perhaps that is why there are so many urban fantasies where young people
find the fate of the world in their untested hands. But before we can matter to the world, the
pains of single individuals have to matter to us.
The
Greyhound bus carrying 13 year old Victor Standish breaks down in rural New
York. The closest house is no refuge but
a descent into madness. Six years on the
mean streets of too many cities have hardened Victor enough to survive the
ordeal.
He
escapes to wander the woods only to discover four men burying a bloody body in
an unmarked grave. Victor is just about
to join that body in the still open grave when a 12 year old girl emerges from
the shadows to warn that vermin from the Other Side are close … too close to do
anything but flee back to the Carny her father owns: ODDMAN’S CARNIVAL.
To
the carnies, Victor appears just another runaway sixteen year old. He is only thirteen. Not that they care either way. They need another worker. And Oddman’s exotic “daughter,” Princess
Shert Nebti, gets … hungry.
They actually care nothing about him.
All they care about is that he can do the work of two men … and that he can
be sacrificed to the mysterious Shert Nebti when the madness takes her.
The atmosphere at the Carny is both dog-eat-dog and friends-stick together. It is a bipolar atmosphere where Victor’s
coworkers are his best friends one day, and the next, grift him for whatever
they can get. He always has to be careful of infighting.
But
Victor hasn’t survived six years on the mean streets of ten cities by being a
patsy. He studies his coworkers’
weaknesses and enemies, pitting them against one another.
Al,
the alcoholic. Andre, the perverted high
wire artist. Goliath, the sadistic
strong man. Azizza, the snake woman with
her tragic past haunting her eyes.
Madera, whose fortunes only speak doom.
Shiver Phoenix, whose left hand always stays gloved, the flesh of it
moving in ways hands should not. Oddman, his superior British accent and
demeanor, suggesting a dark past. And
finally, Princess Shert Nebti … who jarringly proves to be Oddman’s wife.
Victor
has worked Carnies before. But ODDMAN’S
CARNIVAL is different. The Carny is a
dying species soon to be extinct from this earth. But not Oddman’s.
It
is thriving. Victor starts to notice
that not every local who enters leaves.
Police who come to investigate walk into the Princess’ tent, walk back
out with glazed eyes, get into their cars to silently drive away.
Strange
shapes stalk outside the tents at night.
Odd sounds come from inside the canvas walls. Worse smells wrinkle his
nose as he skirts through the shadows evading carnies out for revenge.
And
carnies keep disappearing. Oddman earns
his name, tall, angular with haunted eyes and refined speech. His twelve year old “wife” has fine creases
on her exotic face as if she were some unwrapped mummy. She keeps inviting Victor for dinner, but he
has an uneasy feeling those missing carnies might have heard those same words.
Then,
one haunted night, Victor shows kindness to an abused, caged panther, and
things get really strange … for everyone. And the carnies at ODDMAN’S discover that
perhaps they should have hesitated before picking up a stranger who smelled of
fire and smoke.
This
80,000 word urban fantasy is written with cliff-hangers at the end of each
chapter, making this an excellent candidate for serialization. It can easily be divided into four or five
episodes, depending on your own instincts.
***
So? What do you think of my pitch?
VICTOR STANDISH MUST DIE! now at #55
in free Paranormal Fantasy
AVAILABLE FOR FREE FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BSWXQKU
The idea of an other-worldly carnival sounds full of possibilities. I have a question about one item:
ReplyDeleteCould you explain the reference to the fire and smoke?
D.G.:
ReplyDeleteObservant lady! I edited my pitch, leaving out Victor was covered in soot when discovered. Oops!
Thanks for pointing that out. Alas I have already sent it out. Bummer.
But in the beginning of Episode One, the editors will read of Victor's escape from a burning mansion of horror -- if they get past my bum pitch. His soot-covered state is covered in the synopsis though, so all is not lost!
I have always been fascinated with the idea of animated unwrapped mummies, doorways into alien dimensions, and carnivals filled with non-typical horrors.
Maybe it will catch Amazon's interest. The odds are not in my favor as they say in THE HUNGER GAMES!
Thanks for caring enough to comment. I was feeling kind of ignored!! :-)
Good luck! It will be interesting to see how this concept of series works; they were popular in earlier times.
ReplyDeleteKeeping to a writing schedule not your own, will definitely require discipline. You seem to have that.
D.G.:
ReplyDeleteAmazon has to accept me first. Discipline is my middle name. My first name is No.
:-)
I will know this Thursday if I still have a job from my blood center downsizing. So time may not be a problem ... paying the rent and the other bills might be though. Always something. Have a Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I love your synopsis! Love Victor Standish.
ReplyDeleteHugs and chocolate,
Shelly
I should have a review written for you soon on Three Spirit Knight.
Shelly:
ReplyDeleteI hope your enjoyment of my pitch splashes over onto the editors of Amazon Serial Program!! :-)
Victor loves you back. Thank you for all your tweets and notes on Goodreads! You're a champion. Looking forward to your review, Roland