So you can read my books

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


Robyn Alana Engel

has written a post on my challenge with cancer.  It is fine, compassionate, and ends with a lovely poem.

The essence of the poem is that "love is worth the sad." 

Which oddly enough is the theme of my latest novel (which I will not hawk and cheapen Robyn's gracious post.)

This ice storm may sever my connection with the internet with falling power lines --

which is no matter since I probably will be slipping and sliding along rural roads delievering rare blood to rural hospitals.

Say a prayer for me -- driving in this kind of weather is more than a little frightening.  As Neil Gaiman says:

“I don't really like driving in the snow.

There's something about the motion of the falling snowflakes that hurts my eyes, throws my sense of balance all to hell.

It's like tumbling into a field of stars.”

This ice storm reminds me of the last in 1997. 

My mother had just died.  The owner of the Mall where I had my store would not let me close.  He told me it would be a fine of $500 an hour should I defy him.

Then, the ice storm hit.  The power went out.  Roads were closed. 

And I had my day of mourning in the cold and the dark -- which was appropriate to my mood.

Then, as now, friends rallied to my aid, helping in ways that humbled me as the Father showed me loving souls were His Hands here on Earth.

I have tried to re-pay those acts by being there for others -- which sometimes chaffs Sandra, my best friend (also fighting cancer), for she says continually emptying my bank account for others leaves me vulnerable.

But aren't we all vulnerable?  Sometimes in ways of which we are blind.

Again, Neil Gaiman has a fitting quote:

“There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.” 

But he also wrote:

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” 

Which is why I fling my stories into the cold void of cyber-space.  Few read them. 

But it is my hope that my tales of Hibbs, the bear with two shadows,

and Samuel McCord who refuses to give up his love for She Who Devours --

may touch a hurting heart and spark an ember of hope to give a bruised soul light and strength enough for the next step into the darkness.

Thank you, my friends.


  1. Robyn's post was very sweet.
    That's what the money is for though, isn't it? To help others.
    Will be thinking about you on those icy roads. It's a huge storm and we get hammered today and tomorrow with it.

  2. I, too, will wish for your safety. Icy roads are dangerous. I'm one of your readers which wants to read more, and even things tossed into the void, are usually found by someone who needs it. Some of us will be riding there with you in spirit, Roland, along with Hemingway. (didn't you say he keeps you company 'in spirit', on some of your late drives?)

    I remember ice storms from when I lived in the south. Beautiful to see, encasing everything, but harmful to all living things that it covers.
    Loved Robyn's post! 30 books and counting. . .

  3. Robyn's post was well said.
    You my friend are in my prayers.

  4. Alex:
    You can't eat money certainly. Well, you can but you have to add lots of ketchup! :-)

    Robyn's post made my morning. She is a lovely lady.

    It is, indeed, a huge storm. Cross your fingers for me!

    If you can stay indoors, snow can be magical, transforming the familiar world into a glistening faery world. Driving on ice, however, is more like playing chicken with a dragon!

    I tend to drive these days more with John Steinbeck as I listen to his road-tour across America in 1960 with his giant blue poodle, Charley. Gary Sinse does a marvelous job in his performancee of Steinbeck's words.

    But Hemingway does ride with me as well, along with wise-cracking Mark Twain. Ah, my imagination never lets me get bored! :-)

    I hadn't realized I had written 30 books until she mentioned in -- all in the same linked universe -- that makes my universe more indepth than I realized.

    Thanks for your constant friendship!

    Thanks. Your prayers mean a lot. And Robyn's post warmed my morning!! :-)

  5. Holding you in my heart and prayers, dear Roland. You write with your whole soul, as you do everything. You're beautiful. We all love you and will assure you get through this dark season with even more strength and faith.

    It makes my morning to know I made yours.

    Love and more prayers,

  6. Robyn:
    Thank you so much for your prayers and your compassion. Your poem today was lovely, evocative, and wise.

    Your friendship is a light right now for me. Hibbs, my Grizzly with two shadows, would give you a bear-hug but that might crack a rib!


  7. A gorgeous tribute, from someone else who you have reached out to, touched, and supported.
    Money is there to be spent, and I can't think of a better way than in spreading its benison around. To and for cats, to and for friends.

  8. Elephant's Child:
    Robyn was kind and generous to do this for me. That is how I feel about the money I have to give it for the relief of friends (who are in no position to give it back) and to my cat who trusted me to do all I could for him. :-)

    Hugs back, Roland

    Robyn was very nice, wasn't she. Thanks for the cyber-hugs.

  9. I'll always be hoping that you make it out okay. It can be trying to drive through snow. But as someone from Canada once said to me, "Sweetie, that's not snow."

  10. J E:
    Right now, it's sleet and at night it is "black ice" on the roads. Scary and dangerous!

    Thank you for being my friend! :-)

  11. Robyn's post was wonderful. Heartfelt and true.

    I too wish you safety on the roads - as always. But apart from that, I wish you a full and speedy recovery, of which I am certain you will achieve.

    Take care, Roland.

  12. Wendy:
    Wasn't Robyn's post warm and supportive? I pray the Father's Hand guides the surgeon's own -- quickens his mind as well!

    Thank you for being my friend for as long as you have! :-)

  13. What a sweet, in a way romantic post. Being inside and warm and looking out at an ice storm can be a lovely experience, but like you I dread driving on those roads!

    Take care and please accept a big cyber hug from me.

  14. I'm glad you made it back home safely, Roland - one more step towards the end of this dark tunnel for you.

    I can't wait to read your most recent book, especially because its theme is "It's worth the sad." That seems so coincidental that it can't be.

    Take gentle care, breath by breath, prayer by prayer.


  15. I'll be sending you good thoughts for your perilous job, surviving the icy roads, and of course for a speedy recovery from your cancer.

    Your life has been frought with unending challenges; its amazing you have such a positive and giving attitude.


  16. My prayers are with you for every challenge you face. This has been one hell of a winter.

  17. Helena:
    Thanks for the cyber-hug. It helps. I am sentimental and romantic -- two cardinal sins these days. :-)

    But there is nothing sentimental about driving these icy roads!!

    I keep telling myself no matter how dark the road: inch by inch and it will be a cinch. Heck of a mantra, right?

    I hope you enjoy my last book. There are different sorts of love throughout the book that are, indeed, worth the sad.

    In my world-view, there are no coincidences, but I am a bit of a sentimental mystic at heart. :-)

    The positibe, giving people in my earlier days lent me their spirit I believe without either of us realizing it. May your new job be easier on you.

    For every winter there is a spring. As Robyn might say, by surviving today we are one step closer to it. :-) Thanks for the prayers.

  18. Yes, we're all vulnerable. And yes, this is a road that is scary. For me, right now, it's the not knowing and waiting to know while trying to gear up for whatever battles that are on the way.

    You're in my thoughts and prayers. Travel the road safely and with your battle armor on.

    Sia McKye Over Coffee

  19. Robyn's post was beautiful, as you are. I will keep you in my prayers, but, please, get off those icy roads. Helping others is so important, but we have to also take care of ourselves, if for no other reason than to be able to continue to help and care for others.

  20. Sia:
    All we can do is enjoy the moment with what blessings it possesses and try to stay flexible enough to deal with whatever comes.

    Thankfully, the roads are not icy anymore. It are the weekends that drain me. I do them alone. I worked 24 hours last weekend, driving 500 miles. It certainly drained me.

    I read what you wrote on Robyn's post -- thank you for such beautiful words. I am glad you liked my last novel. :-)

  21. It seems that as usual we have much in common.

    The ice and snow is relentless and does not help a shattered spirit. I am so sorry to hear about your troubles and I wish with all my heart that you could feel the hug that I am sending you now.

    Sorry that I have not been around lately, words these days just seem to fall short. That does not mean that I think of you less or that you are any less in my heart. My prayers are with you my friend.