THE BEAR WITH TWO SHADOWS_MY FIRST eBOOK at AMAZON

I have published my first eBook :

THE BEAR WITH TWO SHADOWS.

He waits to show his world at

Link :

http://www.amazon.com/BEAR-TWO-SHADOWS-ebook/dp/B004MDLWD0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1297221020&sr=1-1

My great good friend, Michael Di Gesu, set the design and the text of my cover.

Let's all give him a cyber applause for being one of the best of the good guys!

As I stepped outside tonight and shivered, I felt warmed. Odd you say.

Not really. Not if you knew of the winter I almost died of pneumonia ... and of my mother's tales told to me as I lay coughing in the cold darkness.

My mother was half Lakota Sioux and half Irish. She learned young the harsh truth that sometimes nightmares invade our waking hours to swallow our world.

I, too, learned it early in my childhood. My mother and I found ourselves living in a basement apartment during one of the worst winters in Detroit's memory.

Money was scarse. Food, too. Warmth even more so. Then, the power went out.

For days.

To keep my mind off the numbing cold and my worsening cough, my mother told me tales spun from the legends of the twin worlds of her own youth.

As I lay shivering under my blankets in the darkness, a magical world slowly took shape within my mind. And I was lost in wonder.

Souix legends contested with the fae and foe of Irish myth.

And the cold became only the chill embrace of Estanatlehi, the ghostly Turquoise Woman. Mother told me that while Estanatlehi's touch was cold, her heart was warm.

So the colder I got, the more it made me feel loved, for I knew that an unseen someone was only hugging me closer. And within the shadows at the far corner of my bedroom, I could almost make out the hulking form of the guardian of all hurting children,

Hibbs, the bear with two shadows.

My mother taught me to love winter. It is a season when you feel the bones of the landscape - the loneliness, the solitude of it. Something waits beneath winter --

the whole story doesn't show -- much like the strangers you meet.

And to tell the tale my mother whispered to me in the cold shadows is why I wrote the 80,000 word Native American/Celtic children's fable, THE BEAR WITH TWO SHADOWS.

His world is one that you cannot reach by car. The mind is the only vehicle that will take you there. The only fuels you need are imagination and the ability to still dream.
***

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT BLOGFEST entry

Go to Brenda Drake's blog to join in the fun :

http://brenleedrake.blogspot.com/2011/01/blogfest-contest-with-prizes-from-agent.html

Name : Bond. James Bond (I always wanted to say that) but truthfully -- Roland D. Yeomans

Title : FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE

Genre : Urban Fantasy

FIRST SENTENCE :

IT RAINED LIES AND DEATH TODAY.

{The following sentence -- if you're interested} :

But some things even Hurricane Katrina couldn’t change.

BAD, WORSE, WORST the 3 KEYS of your 1 PARAGRAPH SUMMATION

But first things first :

Michael Di Gesu has labored all day on my manuscript to save it from format Hell. The odds were against him. But anyone can quit.

Michael's a hero. And heroes don't know the meaning of the word "quit." Sadly, I don't know jack about high tech. But Michael prevailed against the awesomeness of my cyber-ignorance.

"Thank you" is too meager a phrase, good friend. But thanks, Michael!

Now, on with our regularly scheduled post :

BAD

WORSE

WORST

Those are the signposts you keep in mind when writing your

one paragraph summation in your queries.

What?

Yes : BAD ... WORSE ... WORST. They are the 3 keys to writing a GOOD one paragraph summation for your query.

I.) Think Three Act Play :

Act I. Bad (First Sentence)

You introduce your character and set up the conflict.
Conflict being the goal that is desperately desired and the adversary who stands in the way.

Act. II - WORSE (The next three sentences.)

Each sentence details a disaster derailing the progress of your main character and the victories of the adversary. Each disaster gets progressively worse.

The sentence of the first disaster contains the MC's decision which sets the disaster into motion. The sentence of the 2nd disaster contains some small victory for the MC that is destroyed by the sudden turn in fate. The sentence of the third disaster contains the seeds of the final confrontation between the MC and the adversary.

Act III. - WORST

The final sentence contains the final confrontation and its resolution.
If you don't detail in full the resolution,

you should at least give definite hints on how the story ends with the MC triumphing over the adversary -- even at the cost of his/her own life.

II.) Polish this paragraph until it flows like the narration to a movie trailer.

III.) IMPORTANCE of this paragraph summation :

This paragraph is the skeleton of your thoughts as you write your novel.

Go back to it often and check to see if it matches the story you're writing.
a.) If not, no big deal.
b.) Just revise your paragraph accordingly.

You will not become bogged down if you have this paragraph as your guide and map to chart your course through your chapters.

IV.) This paragraph has to be intriguing and persuasive.

A.) The agent will most likely decide to reject or ask for more from this one small paragraph.

B.) This paragraph should probably contain that all important hook, without which most queries are immediately rejected.

C.) Reading this paragraph like the voice-over to a movie trailer will help you in deciding what that all-important hook should be.

D.) A well-written one paragraph summation will provide the outline for your one page (single spaced 500 words) synopsis.

EXAMPLE OF A QUERY THAT WORKED FOR ME :

Dear Mr. Wonderful Agent :


Re-imaginings. Have you ever looked at your image in the mirror and thought does the world I know exist for this copy of me? Or beyond that reflected corner is there a more magical, lyrical, dangerous world?

Thirteen year old Victor Standish lives in such a world.

There are strange tales told by the vagrants of the French Quarter when the midnight hour tolls. The hours fade as the shadows creep closer. The tales are not to amuse, but to keep weary eyes from closing.

For the creeping shadows are hungry.

One such tale is THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH.

Thirteen year old Victor Standish is repeatedly abandoned and picked up by his unpredictable mother. He learns “free running” and other skills a boy needs to survive the mean streets.

Victor finds New Orleans brings "mean" to a new level : the supernatural level. A mysterious Jazz club owner takes him in. Victor learns the Jazz club is actually the Crossroads of Worlds ... and the owner has the blood of Death in his veins. They both find love and adventure as Hurricane Katrina approaches.

Think THE DRESDEN FILES meets AUNTIE MAME.

The undead Abigail Adams marshals her forces to repel the Shadowland invasion led by her European counterpart, Empress Theodora. While the jazz club owner tries to keep the French Quarter safe, Victor falls in love with the British ghoul, Alice. His “ghoul friend” he calls her.

Between Victor's wits and Alice's strange abilities, they save the jazz club owner from Theodora and Abigail Adams.

Joy turns to dread when the Angel of Death arrives at the door of the Jazz club to claim him. Victor does not understand why he merits a visit from the Angel of Death. But to save his new family, he faces her.

He discovers she is no stranger. And he understands why the Angel of Death has come to pick him up ... again.

She is his mother.

Thank you for reading my query. I would be happy to send you sample chapters or the full manuscript. I hope that you find some gem in the flood of submissions that pour your way. May your New Year hold only happy surprises with some relief for punished eyes and swamped workloads.

Roland D. Yeomans M.A.

{The pitch section is exactly 300 words (a half-page single-spaced) Altogether it is approximately 400 words.}


*) I hope this helps in some small way when you are writing your queries and your novels. Your friend, Roland
***

DRIVING IN THE POURING RAIN TAUGHT ME HOW TO WRITE A QUERY

The art of driving in the pouring rain is much like writing a query.

Yes.

There are similarities between the two.

For instance, the question :

SHE DOES SEE ME, DOESN'T SHE?

The truth? No. No, she doesn't.

In her mind's eye, she sees the face of her friend as she's talking into her Bluetooth headset. By the dashboard clock, she sees that she's 10 minutes late. In the rearview mirror, she sees the bouncing image of her lips as she tries to apply lipstick without ending up looking like Bozo the Clown.

But you? You she doesn't see.

Not to worry. Just drive as if everyone around you is going to do the stupidest thing imaginable, and you'll be just fine.

THE AGENT TO WHOM YOU'RE WRITING DOESN'T SEE YOU EITHER.

She sees the precious sleep she's missing by reading query after query into the wee hours of the morning.

She sees the worst pieces of prose from past queries that stick like cockle burrs in her mind.

She sees the long list of things she has to do the next day on less sleep that she wanted.

She sees the sad face of that editor saying "No" to her earlier in the day when she was so sure he was going to say "yes."

She sees the mounting bills she has to pay ... BUT SHE DOESN'T SEE YOUR QUERY ... at least not clearly.

What do you do?

With a driver, you honk the horn. With a weary agent, you reach out and shake her awake to truly see your query for what it hopefully is : engaging and intriguing.

How? However you do it, you have to do it in 10 seconds. That's how long you have before her routine of "Wax on; wax off" is finished. Actually, it's read, yawn, reject.

For you to get through to her, it has to be a one - two punch. Hook of a title. Then, wham! A fascinating one paragraph summation:

PROJECT POPE : Robot priests construct their own Pope in their search for God. Then, the unimaginable happens. They find Him. {The classic by Clifford D. Simak.}

2nd Way Querying is like driving in the pouring rain :

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DO A THING DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD.

Hundreds of thousands of drivers die needlessly each year by insisting on driving the speed limit in blinding rain.

In writing a query, you have fantastic leeway. You can write in any voice you choose. Frivolous. Condescending. Antagonistic. Suicidal, oh I repeat myself.

Your query is a business interview. Treat it as such and treat the agent as the potential employer. Be professional. Follow her website's guidelines. And show respect.

3rd Way Querying is like driving in the pouring rain :

YOU HAVE TO ALWAYS KEEP THE BIG PICTURE IN MIND :

In driving that is looking past the hood to at least 200 feet ahead of you. Flick your eyes from side to side to prevent nasty surprises. Keep looking at the rearview mirror to see what may be charging right at you.

In Querying :
Keep in mind the ultimate goal : intriguing the agent enough for her to want to read more.

You don't have to cram 500 pages of story into one page. In essence, you're writing a movie trailer. Remember the latest movie trailer you saw. Did it give the whole story? No. It teased, giving you the hero, the antagonist, and a glimpse of humor and danger.

Now, get to teasing those agents.

Then, there's this song, an echo of yesterday's post :

NO MATTER YOUR WINTER, SPRING WILL COME

Your unconscious speaks to you all the time.

Usually, the din of our present moment drowns it out. Usually.

But the unconscious is a tricky little bugger.

As I was driving today in the blinding rains,

courtesy of this terrible winter storm brutalizing the whole country,

a car darted recklessly in front of me. I drive as if everyone around me is suicidal and moronic --

so there was no accident.

Through the blurred windshield, I spotted the bumper sticker on it.

I thought I read : NO MATTER YOUR WINTER, SPRING WILL COME.

When the windshield wipers sqeaked me a clear view, my impression wasn't even close to the true words of the sticker.

Don't ask. Just content yourself with the fact that it matched perfectly the mindset of a suicidal moron.

But it got me to thinking as I drove home. My unconscious mind was right.

Life is a circle of seasons. No winter stays forever. No summer is endless. Trauma will end. Healing will begin. And no joy lasts forever.

My blog friends email me :

some are struggling in the middle of their novels;

some are just trying to overcome the inertia of pushing the beginning of their narrative over that first hill;

while others are brooding about revisions : where to prune, where to further illuminate.

Whatever season you find yourself struggling in, know that with the trials,

there are also pleasures involved with each season. Both blessings and blights have expiration dates.

Life is both less and more than you may think.

It is a fragile tangle of perceptions that exist in a fleeting moment in time.

This moment.


See? It is already gone : that moment when your eyes first spied the title over my post.

And that is something my half-Lakota mother taught me as we looked out over Lake Michigan at a frosty sunset while she spun me tales of the Twilight of the Gods, and what it meant to be courageous.

Suddenly, she turned to me and said : "Breathe each breath, little one. No two are the same. Remember the colors that paint this sky. Remember me, little one. Remember, and this sunset ... and I ... we will never leave you. Never."

At lunch today I read a few poems of Emily Dickinson. Writing of that sunset from so long ago has reminded me of her "Blazing in Gold." Here is a snippet :

"Blazing in gold and quenching in purple,
Leaping like leopards to the sky,
Then at the feet of the old horizon
Laying her spotted face to die…."

Another favorite comes from Christina Georgina Rossetti's "From Sunset To Star Rise" :

"I live alone, I look to die alone:
Yet sometimes, when a wind sighs through the sedge,
Ghosts of my buried years and friends come back,
My heart goes sighing after swallows flown
On sometime summer's unreturning track."

We write our tales, spinning them of the silk of our imagination and perceptions. We sail the dark seas of longing and desire ... to be published? No. I think we sail for a shore other than the need to be heard. No, we sail upon the Sea of Dreams to connect to others of like spirit out in the darkness.

That is why we sail upon uncertain seas to tell our stories ... to reach another heart like ours: hurting, hoping, and helping. That is a star worthy of charting our course by.

What did John Masefield write?

I must go down to the sea again,
to the lonely sea and sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship

And a star to steer by.
*****************************

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU ... AUTHOR AND READER

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU ...

AUTHOR AND READER.

What am I going on about now?

Exactly.

See? I've engaged your mind by my title.

I.) Just like you have to engage the mind of your reader.

A.) If you don't ...

1.) Readers will have nothing to do with their imaginations ...

2.) They become passive, restless.

3.) Finally, they grow bored, leading to ...

4.) Becoming non-readers!

B.) When you think Author/Reader think of a partnership like marriage ...

C.) Your imagination married to that of your reader's.

II.) Take characterization -

A.) If you want to really know someone :

1.) Watch what they do.

2.) Listen to what they say.

3.) Look to see if the Talk matches the Walk.

4.) If it does, that tells you something important about that person.

5.) If it doesn't, that tells you something even more important.

B.) Don't say Jill is a back-stabbing tramp, rather ...

1.) Show her best friend going to the hospital for an extended stay.

2.) Show Jill inviting her friend's husband over for a nice home-cooked meal for a change.

3.) Have Jill get the husband ...

a.) first, drunk.

b.) then in her bed.

C.) Draw the reader into making her own conclusions about your characters ...

1.) By showing the world through your character's eyes.

2.) By revealing what makes your character laugh or cry or swear.

EXAMPLE :

Maija looked down wistfully upon the unconscious teenager bound on her gold throne and smiled.

Where to maim first?

His eyes? No, she wanted the boy to fully take in his surroundings : the human heads mounted on the marble walls of her throne room, the steel chains snug around his body, the hopelessness of his situation.

His impish tongue?

No, Maija wanted to hear his screams of agony and his cries for mercy.

His eyelids flickered. He was finally awakening. Good. Maija squirmed in esctasy. His torture would be such a marvelous birthday present to herself.

Victor Standish awoke, consciousness returning almost instantly. His eyes widened at the mounted human heads as he looked up at the smiling Maija. His smirk stole her joy.

"Who's your interior decorator," he laughed, "Stephen King?"

FOUR PARAGRAPHS :

But by their end, you know quite a lot about Maija. Her station in life. Her mindset. Her mental health. You even know a bit about Victor Standish.

Yet, I've said nothing directly about either Maija or Victor.

III.) When you present your readers with already-arrived at conclusions --

A.) You've left them with nothing to do with their minds.

B.) When you make them come to their own conclusions by DIALOGUE and ACTION

C.) You've made partners of them and the images of your characters crystalize firmly in their imaginations, taking on a life of their own.

IV.) Bore your readers and soon they'll divorce you for a more exciting, engaging partner.

A.) A few bold and subtle brushstrokes of prose on the canvas of your page ...

1.) leads your reader to fill in the rest of the scene
2.) making her a partner in your story.

B.) And it removes limitations to the depth of the characters about whom you write.

C.) Write intuitively as you go along ...

And your novel will go places that will astound both you and your happy partner in prose, the reader.
***

WRITE LIKE PEOPLE WERE LISTENING

It is a magical world like Calvin says.

But often our prose is not magical ... it's murderous.

We have so much we want to say that sometimes it just tumbles forth onto the page

in great chunks of blocky sentences becoming an avalanche of numbing paragraphs.

1.) Write like someone is listening ... not reading.

a.) You wouldn't go up to a person and say :

"Although the complexities of stintilating prose can be easily comprehended, they are often misunderstood by today's beginning writers."

b.) Why not?

1.) People would stop listening almost at once, their eyes glazing over.

2.) We would bewilder them with blunt instruments of prose.

3.) We would bore them ... and we never want to bore an agent or potential buyer of our prose!

SOLUTION : Write short, easily understood sentences with equally short words. As in a more digestible sentence : "Writing riveting prose is easily understood if taught correctly."

SOLUTION : Read your work aloud, page by page. You will hear flaws you never thought you'd written.

Print out your work. Look at the page. Is it filled with two huge, impossibly long paragraphs? Break them up into easier to digest paragraphs and sentences.

SOLUTION : Never play "Hide and Seek" with the subject of your sentence.

1.) Be upfront with your subject, not putting rows of rail cars in front of your locomotive.

2.) No corollary things about your subject first.

3.) Get to your subject as quickly as you can in your sentence.

NOT : Heavily burdened by accepting the huge debts of Fannie Mae, the U.S. Treasury is reaching critical financial mass.

BUT : The U.S. Treasury faces bankruptcy due to its accepting trillions of dollars of debt from Fannie Mae.

EXCEPTION : When you want to build tension or expectation :

"Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound -- Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird; it's a plane. No, it's Superman!"

The writer had a reason to withhold the subject. The subject is the punchline.

THAT is my short lesson in writing better. Now, go out and play in the snow.
***