How to you spot Emotional Vampires?
Like the cliched fictional vampires, they tend to blend in, all smiles and apparent friendliness.
You spot them as you would a cliched fictional vampire:
1.) THEY ARE UNDEAD
Translation: they are not self-sufficient.
They take emotional energy from others, for they do not know how to take emotional care of themselves.
Since they are always running on low in emotional energy, they have none to spare to give others.
2.) COLD TO THE TOUCH
In interpersonal exchanges, they usually are cold and distant though the face smiles.
They are lacking in personal energy and so get defensive if they sense you might ask something of them.
3.) USUALLY HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE
They have been able to get by in life without giving because their sexual allure and dominating presence
to get what they want by unstated promises of something worthwhile to come.
They hunger for attention and will get it by forcing their way into the center of focus.
Passive aggressive maneuvers such as emotional blackmail or bullying are their stock in trade.
5.) LIVE IN THE SHADOWS
They will often be the first to rush to someone hurting in need, not to help,
but to gain a Renfield to serve them in the future.
6.) HAVE A DARK PRESENCE
Because they are low in emotional energy, they often appear dark, mean, and brooding --
or leave you feeling that way if you have spent too much time with them, leeching you.
7.) THEY HAVE NO REFLECTION
They don't like themselves or who they see in the mirror, so they continually wear a mask to hide themselves from themselves and you.
They cannot handle criticism or authentic affection (without thought of gain) from others.
HOW TO SURVIVE THEM
1) LEAVE THEIR PRESENCE AS SOON AS YOU CAN
That is often not possible. Then what?
Only spend a short time with them. Find ways to limit exposure to them.
2.) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Exercise. Eat right. Do things that re-charge your emotional batteries.
3.) TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
Feel drained whenever they're around? Guess what? You have a vampire on your hands.
Value your emotions and yourself. Take time to reflect how to do the two above approaches to survival.
4.) HAVE THE SELF RESPECT TO SAY "NO"
Set boundaries of acceptable actions and words from them. Distance yourself from them at least within your thoughts,
They are damaged, not you.
5.) TAKE TIME TO PLAY
It will build inner reserves of emotional strength and inner distance from their attacks.
6.) BE OPEN AND AFFECTIONATE TO POSITIVE PEOPLE
Smile, hug, shake hands with whole people. Their company will re-new you.