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It is time again for Friday’s ROMANTIC CHALLENGE.
This time Francine and Denise have given us : SHE LOVES ME/SHE LOVES ME NOT.
http://fridaynightwriters.blogspot.com/
My 400 word entry {early to hopefully spark more entries from others}
This time Francine and Denise have given us : SHE LOVES ME/SHE LOVES ME NOT.
http://fridaynightwriters.blogspot.com/
My 400 word entry {early to hopefully spark more entries from others}
is from THE PATH BACK TO DAWN.
Hone Heke, the famous Maori warrior, Kirika, escaped Ningyo princess, and Blake Adamson are fleeing their enemies aboard the cursed Junk, THE BLADELESS SAMURAI.
They have just entered the stormy Sea of Fate. Hone grabs Blake to help him secure the rigging :
Hone grumbled something biologically impossible and tugged me after him and headed to the back of the Junk. The wind was picking up, smelling of lightning and rain.
We staggered against it. He motioned at some ropes. He made a tugging gesture towards his chest and nodded to me.
I got the idea and started cinching them up. He bent down close to my head and yelled above the storm.
“Are you crazy, Blake?”
“People keep asking me that. But why you?”
“Why me? Why the hell Kirika, of all pretty monsters?”
“M-Monster?”
“Yeah, that’s right, monster. Succubus.”
“Suck my what?”
He rolled his eyes and looked like he wanted to strangle me. “You do know what Ningyo’s are, don’t you, son?”
I nodded sadly. “Something like a soul vampire, aren’t they?”
This time he did grab my throat and gave me a shake. “Succubus, idiot. Succubus, as in ‘poke me while I leech you.’ I know she’s beautiful, but so is a coral snake. And you don’t go to bed with either one.”
He balled up his right fist, looking like he was deciding whether to break my jaw or my head. “Do you really have a death wish?”
“You said it yourself, sir. Idun’s Apple freed her from the need to feed.”
He squeezed my shoulder.
“From the need, yes. But not from the desire, son. I know she looks like a beautiful sixteen year old girl. But she’s not, Blake. She’s not even human. She’s a Ningyo, a being hundreds of years old.”
His eyes grew hollow. “Worse, she’s in love with you, son.”
“Worse? How can being in love with me be worse?”
"Because that means she's not thinking straight. She's gonna expect you to act like a centuries old Ningyo male. And when you don't, she's going to feel betrayed. And a betrayed Ningyo is a demon let loose from Hell."
His hand squeezed harder on my shoulder. "You're walking with your eyes wide shut into suicide."
His eyes flicked past my head. My heart sank. I turned around. Kirika.
She was standing stiff, her fingers coiling and uncoiling. Her once lovely face did seem a demon's. How could I unhurt her?
I couldn't. She had heard me being told she was a monster. There was only one thing I could think of that would balance the scales. Balance them and screw up my life.
***
Don't miss the great two sentence pitch contest at BEYOND WORDS :
http://chanellegray.blogspot.com/2011/07/pitch-contest-with-victoria-marini.html
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***
Hone Heke, the famous Maori warrior, Kirika, escaped Ningyo princess, and Blake Adamson are fleeing their enemies aboard the cursed Junk, THE BLADELESS SAMURAI.
They have just entered the stormy Sea of Fate. Hone grabs Blake to help him secure the rigging :
Hone grumbled something biologically impossible and tugged me after him and headed to the back of the Junk. The wind was picking up, smelling of lightning and rain.
We staggered against it. He motioned at some ropes. He made a tugging gesture towards his chest and nodded to me.
I got the idea and started cinching them up. He bent down close to my head and yelled above the storm.
“Are you crazy, Blake?”
“People keep asking me that. But why you?”
“Why me? Why the hell Kirika, of all pretty monsters?”
“M-Monster?”
“Yeah, that’s right, monster. Succubus.”
“Suck my what?”
He rolled his eyes and looked like he wanted to strangle me. “You do know what Ningyo’s are, don’t you, son?”
I nodded sadly. “Something like a soul vampire, aren’t they?”
This time he did grab my throat and gave me a shake. “Succubus, idiot. Succubus, as in ‘poke me while I leech you.’ I know she’s beautiful, but so is a coral snake. And you don’t go to bed with either one.”
He balled up his right fist, looking like he was deciding whether to break my jaw or my head. “Do you really have a death wish?”
“You said it yourself, sir. Idun’s Apple freed her from the need to feed.”
He squeezed my shoulder.
“From the need, yes. But not from the desire, son. I know she looks like a beautiful sixteen year old girl. But she’s not, Blake. She’s not even human. She’s a Ningyo, a being hundreds of years old.”
His eyes grew hollow. “Worse, she’s in love with you, son.”
“Worse? How can being in love with me be worse?”
"Because that means she's not thinking straight. She's gonna expect you to act like a centuries old Ningyo male. And when you don't, she's going to feel betrayed. And a betrayed Ningyo is a demon let loose from Hell."
His hand squeezed harder on my shoulder. "You're walking with your eyes wide shut into suicide."
His eyes flicked past my head. My heart sank. I turned around. Kirika.
She was standing stiff, her fingers coiling and uncoiling. Her once lovely face did seem a demon's. How could I unhurt her?
I couldn't. She had heard me being told she was a monster. There was only one thing I could think of that would balance the scales. Balance them and screw up my life.
***
Don't miss the great two sentence pitch contest at BEYOND WORDS :
http://chanellegray.blogspot.com/2011/07/pitch-contest-with-victoria-marini.html
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Oh wow, now that boy is in a fix! And of course I'm completely sucked in! Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteOh sure, stop there and leave me hanging. How did he screw up his own life? Did he pledge his undying love to a demon? Just let the girl suck his blood already. It's not going to kill him. Heck, he might like it. :) Succubus are cool.
ReplyDeleteHeather :
ReplyDeleteAnd wait until Kirika finds out how he feels for Fallen! Yep, Blake is sure in a fix, all right.
Laila :
The blood part was part of Fallen's dark pact with poor Blake. Kirika nips a piece of the soul. Luckily, Blake is large-souled. This excerpt is from the book you have, so you can flip forward and see how noble Blake gets off and back on the hook with Kirika! LOL. Blake has my luck with the ladies! Roland
Ah, l'amour! I guess there is something worse than a woman scorned, it's a Ningyo betrayed.
ReplyDeleteThis particular challenge was made to show off your best talent Roland; a man screwed by love and still looking dig in deeper :)
ReplyDeleteI liked the conflict between her natural self and the being she wants to be (in love, not in lust). I loved the cliff hanger too.
Poor Blake, he really is confused. I think you nailed the spirit of this challenge. Well done.
Mine won't be up until later tomorrow afternoon.
........dhole
Beverly :
ReplyDeleteAnd just wait until we get to a Sidhe betrayed! Ouch! LOL.
Donna :
I am always amazed by your insight and perceptiveness. Aren't we all striving to be more than our weaknesses? THE PATH BACK TO DAWN speaks to all of us. Or at least I tried to make it that way. Have a great weekend, Roland
Hi,
ReplyDeleteThings could be worse, she could have heard him say he didn't love her back. He'd be pulp then, not a delectable possibility. His best bet is to keep her on the edge: hungry with desire! A bit of male tease can work wonders, too. ;)
best
F
Every time I read about Blake, he's always in some sort of trouble involving ladies or demons or whatever! I just have one question...how does a centuries old Ningyo male act?
ReplyDeleteFrancine :
ReplyDeleteAlas, poor Blake is too open-hearted to tease. It would save him some grief!
Andy :
That's Blake all right!
A centuries old Ningyo would act very, very sophisticated. The Ningyo definition of sophisticated? "The face you wear is never your own."
To each of you who have commented on my past posts while I am still in exile : THNAK YOU!!
I have driven 300 miles today, and I am exhausted. Still at work. Still on call. Thank all of you again, Roland
What a cliff hanger! You can't just leave us hanging. Well written.
ReplyDelete"How could I unhurt her?" Such a touching question, that is the soul of this story to me.
ReplyDeleteKiru :
ReplyDeleteBlake, being Blake, both makes things better ... and worse.
Ruth :
Thanks so much for seeing that as the soul of this excerpt ... as I meant it to be. Happy Weekend, Roland
This brings a whole new meaning to being "afraid to love" - and it looks like Blake should be very, very afraid. . .but something tells me he won't be! A dangerous prospect - but a good one to look forward to. I'm impressed!
ReplyDeletebabyrocka :
ReplyDeleteBlake is certainly walking the razor's edge by falling in love with a succcubus, even an alien one! Thank you for the very kind words, Roland
Hi Roland. I'm a bit late commenting and I hope you will go and read some entries too. You haven't been by mine for the past two weeks!!?? We value your comments.
ReplyDelete'How could I unhurt her?' must be the most male sensitive sentence I've ever read. Very touching as Ruth said. As always Roland, great work. I don't know how your mind can hold all these characters!
BTW, hope the a/c is fixed and you're comfy in your apartment again.
Denise