SANDRA TRASHER_A STAR TO GUIDE BY_IWSG post

Each of us is a walking shadow.

The people in our lives are lights, varying in color and brightness.  

As they pass by us, 

our shadows move and change with each light, becoming something different with each one.

We become a living dance of light and shadow with the people entering our lives ...

and leaving them.


Whenever someone who knows you dies, you lose one version of yourself.  

Yourself as you were seen, as you were judged to be.

They construct us in a way and their different versions shape us, 

slanting our character like diamond cutter's tools.

A death of such an important light is a step leading to our own graves where all versions end and blend.

But some people are not just 

lights in your life 

but a star in your sky 

to guide your steps by.

Sandra Thrasher has just entered a hospice ...

but she has not left my life or stopped shaping it ... not even her death will do that.


“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. 

There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” 

— Fred Rogers


Sandra did not set out to become the sister I never had ...

She was just her wise and wise-cracking self.  

(Think Bette Midler with salt and pepper hair)


She believed I could be better than I felt I could ... 

and applied a verbal kick-in-the-pants to assist me in that effort often.


When my mother died, she comforted me.  

And when her mother died soon after, I returned the favor.


When my house burned, and I was burned, Sandra called me each day, 

being supportive when my dog died as I lay healing from my burns ...

 when my rescue dog was poisoned in the yard where I was forced to keep him. 


Sandra gave me a car to see that I could go back to work.  

She let me know that she felt I was worth the effort of her friendship.

Sandra is the only self-actualized person 

I have ever met.

1.) She prodded me into not embracing the familiar but walking into the unknown, for that realm contains the only treasures worth finding.

2.) Sandra accepted herself with all her flaws and encouraged me to do the same. 

3.) She urged me to set a firm destination but to enjoy the journey getting there.

4.)  Sandra is unconventional, not for the shock value, 

but to be authentic to her worldview that the world is basically insane and troubled

so laugh at it when you can

and  heal from it without bitterness when you could.

5.)  Sandra tried to teach me that life is not about needs but about growth, for without growth we die inside.

6.)  She illustrated with her life that life is about being grateful for the very fact of our being 

and to treat small set-backs as the tuition of living.

7.)  Sandra possesses a code of ethics that is individualized and not dictated by the society around her.  

It is a lifestyle I try to adopt for my own.

Why Am I Writing This For My IWSG post?

Life is more fragile than we let ourselves see.

Life is shorter than we would wish 

and not as predictable as our denial defense mechanism murmurs to us that it is.

I would have you take a moment to appreciate the special people in your life 

in the midst of your struggles towards your writing dreams.

Like iridescent rainbows, they will disappear sooner than you wish.

{Sandra slipped away Tuesday evening,

and her passing is 
an open wound in my heart.}