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Showing posts with label OLIVIA WILDE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OLIVIA WILDE. Show all posts

Sunday, December 19, 2010

HOLLYWOOD PMS


"Tron: Legacy," a costly 3D sci-fi movie

that Walt Disney Co has promoted for more than three years,

took the top spot at the North American box office,

but with a disappointing weekend haul of $43.6 million, according to estimates issued by the company on Sunday.

How do movies like TRON go wrong? Nick, my co-worker and Mr. EveryMan movie audience, scratched his head and asked that question of TRON.

"I mean, Roland, it had great actors, access to the best special effects around, and you know it cost millions upon millions to make.

And with all that, they made crap? How does stuff like this happen?"

Lucy Lawless, siren of XENA and SPARTACUS, is reported to have said,

"If it ain't on the page,

it dies on the stage."

Amen, Xena.

Industry observers had been expecting a three-day start in the $50 million range for TRON.

As openings go this year, the massively hyped sequel to an obscure 1982 movie failed to crack the top-10,

and observers have said it will need to rely on strong overseas business to break even.

Slapping the name Tron on a movie, loading it with 3D effects, and putting some woman in spandex in it, does not make me want to see the movie.

(Well, Olivia Wilde in spandex makes me want to rent the DVD.)

Also new was "Yogi Bear," a live-action/animated update of the old television cartoon.

It came in at No. 2 with $16.7 million, a few million dollars short of the expectations of its studio, Warner Bros.

It was also short the innocence and witty humor of the cartoon.

"How Do You Know," a comedy featuring a high-priced lineup headed by Jack Nicholson and Reese Witherspoon, was a major flop.

So who's to blame?

1.) The Four Quadrants.

And no, that is not the Cajun branch of the Illuminati.

It's how Hollywood grades movies :

The four quadrants :

Males : Above and Below the age of 25

Females : Above and Below the age of 25

The best quadrant?

Males below the age of 25.

They will go alone to movies they like.

They are more apt to take friends to said movie, making an event of it.

The next best?

Females below the age of 25.

They won't go alone. But often drag their boyfriends after going to two of their action movies in a row
.
So the best film to make obviously is a chick flick with guns.

Don't laugh. That's why we had the duds, KILLERS with Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher, along with the movie, KNIGHT & DAY, with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.

Hollywood is a business.

And on date night, you've got to go see something. And Hollywood still believes the pipe dream that the Four Quadrants will make studios money. So story is secondary.

But not to us writers.

And the shame of it is that a good story costs just as much as a bad one. And the repeat viewings of a great film makes more money in the long run.

2.) HOLLYWOOD PMS is also to blame :


P ... politics


Studios, like heat-seeking missiles,

tend to follow the popularity of an actor or a director,

whether or not is based on anything close to quality.

Funny enough, it is called following the "heat."

At least that was the phrase several years ago.

Politics is more than following the heat however. It is about personalities, their flaws, their prejudices, their ego's.

Studio politics is office politics on steroids.


M ... money :


Hollywood loves its pre-sold franchises. Sometimes they work. Most times they don't.

I shudder when I remember what the movie A-TEAM looked like on the screen.

But the studio executives know that people reading their computer headlines will know the answer to that most important question : "What is it about?"

Franchises gives the reader of the movie ad a clear mental image of what the movie promises.

If the story is lousy or the film veers too far off the historical image. Low traffic. Sink hole where ticket sales should be.

Domestic ticket sales used to account for 60% of a movie's overall profits. Now, it's down to 40%. Worldwide ticket sales are now the make or break aspect of a movie.

The movie must be readily understood universally. Franchises are ideal for that.

Also killer titles : Legally Blonde, Crazies, 4 Christmases, and FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE {the title for my book -- hey, I can dream, can't I?}

Hollywood is not about art or about quality. It is about profits.

showBUSINESS it is called for a reason.

If on top of the 4 quadrants, your movie script is medium-budget, filmed entirely in one location --

and you are the screen writer, you may have to run out of the exec's office to keep him from giving you a wet kiss. Which leads us to ...


S ... Sex


Sex behind the camera ... the infamous casting couch.

Sex in front of the camera ... which is how we got Angelina Jolie in the lifeless THE TOURIST and Olivia Wilde poured into spandex for eye candy in TRON.

Well, that's it for my thoughts on Hollywood's deficiencies.

How about yours?

What recent movie had you asking, "What were they thinking of? --

How did this happen? -- They spent millions of dollars on this?"

Please tell me. I'm interested.
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