So you can read my books

Saturday, January 15, 2011


This is my TELL entry for Misty Waters' SHOW VERSUS TELL BLOGFEST :

{Scroll down for the SHOW entry} :


I am Elu, Apache diyi. And I only am left to tell the tale of Man, for I exist only in mirrors. If the White man had just been content to destroy himself, I would be glad.

But it is the White Man's way to destroy all he touches -- even his entire world.

Where to begin?

Do I begin with the madman who tainted ice cream he gave for free to the children on the streets of Detroit? The poisoned dessert that turned those children into the walking dead?

No. Instead I will begin with the seven year old Victor Standish. Abandoned by his mother, the Angel of Death, he sat in a swing in a Detroit playground, misunderstanding completely why she had left him.

As Death, she was Allwheres, Alltimes at once. She could no longer take him with her lest she destroy his sanity.

Being Death's son, Victor unknowingly drew the undead children to him. Showing the largeness of heart that would one day be his undoing, he saved the white girl beside him.

His mother's touch was already removing most of the memories of his wanderings. But though he could not place the face or form of his centaur teacher, Chiron, Victor remembered his teachings.

When surrounded by enemies, seize your sword, thrust up your shield, and find the high ground.

And this Victor did, taking the white girl, Becky, with him, though taunting and herding her. He found his sword, a fallen baseball bat. He picked up his shield, a discarded garbage can lid.

In the towering child's slide and swing bars, Victor found his high ground. He found his first teacher in free running, the black boy, LeRoy. He found his rage against his deserting mother. He channeled it to fend off the undead horde.

But they were too many.

His rage exploded. Tapping into the power of his mother's blood, Victor screamed for the undead to die. And since he was his mother's son, they did just that.

Above Victor, safe from his death-scream, Becky lowered her slingshot, looking at Victor in wonder. LeRoy pushed the three unmoving, undead children from the top of the slide. The small white girl in glasses began to shiver from shock.

The enemy was defeated ... for the moment.

Standing a layer of life from Victor, his mother, Death, cried black tears. Her son had proven he could survive without her.

She decided to cast him only on the deadliest streets. Then, though he would never again be by her side, he would always be in her heart and in her sight.

Still, there were other undead children than the ones killed in the playground.

The end of Man had begun.


  1. OMG, Roland, this gave me chills. Literally.

    Poor Victor.

    I've missed your posts! that rebel, Olivia

  2. Thanks, Olivia. Scroll on down for the TELL entry. My supervisor just called me in early for an 11 hour day -- and I'm coming down with respiratory infection. Life. Beats the alternative! LOL. Roland

  3. ...this post is even more chilling when you consider the current number on your followers list...

    You've left me speechless...which is a good thing, creepy, but good.

    Victor...oh my.


  4. Roland. GAH! That was so EFFIN GOOD. You slay me with that and it's simply your TELL version. GAH, I say again. GAH!!

  5. Show vs tell isn't really a big issue for me either way. i do what feels natural at the time.

  6. A vivid telling of the show events. The Elu perspective is just as riveting as Victor's was.

    Good job.

    I'm with Elliot on the ghastly number. Whoa . .


  7. Donna : Yes, I tried to make the TELL version as entertaining as I could despite telling's inherent weaknesses. And yes, my current # of followers does eerily echo the end of Man motiff.

    Golden Eagle : Thanks. I tried to make the TELL version noteworthy in and of itself. Glad you think I succeeded.

    Amos : Yes, exactly. Whichever form is most effective should be the one chosen by us. Thanks for commenting!

    Misty Waters : I really tried to use the TELL version to lend added depth to Victor's tale. I'm very happy that you really enjoyed it. It made my afternoon at work the better for it.

    Elliot : Yes, the current # of my followers does lend a macabre aspect to this TELL version. I'm really pleased that you liked my tale.

  8. OMG. You know, I do realize that we're supposed to SHOW not TELL but this was JUST AS GOOD as the other version! It gave a lot more information directly to the reader, yes, but it worked in this piece.

    I guess it's the sign of a good writer to pull off are certainly that!

  9. Tessa : With the kind of coughing day I'm having at work, your words sure made the afternoon a lot better. Thanks for the kind words. I tried to make this TELL lend depth and irony to the narration by Victor. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I certainly needed the emotional boost this solo work day!

  10. ...even though Victor was abandoned, his heart was always in the right place, with his mother.
    "She decided to cast him only on the deadliest streets. Then, though he would never again be by her side, he would always be in her heart and in her sight."

    I enjoyed the post... and take care of the cough. ahem..

  11. Imagery Imagined : Glad you liked that line that explains why his mother, Death, cast him only on the deadly streets -- so that when she appeared to retrieved the dying souls, she would see Victor once more. Yes, that cough is starting to irritate me. One co-worker is already out with it. Guess I will just have to manage somehow. Have a great weekend yourself, Roland

  12. Yayyy! You chose the zombie version! Excellent example of telling, I think it worked well.


  13. Zombies are a primal force, much like the Id given form and violence. So of course, Victor Standish was my choice to counter them. And a little child shall slay them! LOL.

  14. Great piece, really demonstrates the difference between telling and the previous showing. Great stuff! :O)

  15. Thanks, Madeleine and Mia. Here's hoping your Sundays are healing, Roland

  16. You're giveing us reason not to avoid the TELL in our writing, Roland. But, I have to say I do prefer Victor's showing. Way more action, and I love the little guy.


  17. Frankly,

    I enjoy a good tell. In my eyes there in nothing wrong with fantastically written tell prose. It is just as informing and entertaining.

    It is engrained if every new author's mind to SHOW not TELL.

    WHY? What's wrong with TELLING a story. People have been since the beginning of time.


    You know who I feel about your writing. Showing/Telling, it is always worth reading. Never give up.


  18. Jodi : Thanks, and I prefer the SHOW Victor version, too. I tried hard to make the TELL entertaining and enlightening in its own right.

    Victor is full of spunk and attitude, isn't he? And he says he likes you, too, and had to skip away from Alice's kick! LOL.

  19. Michael : Like you, I feel TELLING can be done well and entertaininly. I think the writing teachers fear that too much TELLING can make the reader feel distant from the action. But like you said, if done well, there is nothing wrong with it.

    Thanks for the kind words. Now, I'm off to the blood wars solo!

  20. Bless him! He really has a tough life. I'm glad he has good friends and an ounce or two *wink* of courage!

  21. Words Crafter : Poor Victor has really had a hard time of it, but he's found friends, like you say, that are worth the rough road it took to get to them! And yes, he does have an ounce or two of courage and about ten pounds of attitude! LOL!

  22. I read the tell first and enjoyed it, but I loved the attitude and voice in the show version. Wonderful as always, Roland.

  23. Charity : Victor certainly has presence, doesn't he? I'm happy you enjoyed his never-say-die attitude. Have a great new week, Roland

  24. Oh my! What fun! And, by the way, :) I have an award for you on my blog: come stop by and pick it up! It will be available Monday morning.

  25. Love your writing! So raw and you have such a great voice.

  26. Lord, I felt this as if I was there! BTW, I have something for you on my blog :D
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  27. Margo : Thanks for the award and liking my TELL. The flu had me sleeping 15 hours straight so I am just now coming out of my flu cave.

    Jennifer : My writing is matching my lacerated throat this morning. LOL. Thanks so much for liking Victor's "voice" in this piece.

    Jules : Thanks for the award. You and Margo are too kind. I tried to put the reader in the moment. You made a coughing, struggling writer very happy, Roland