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Sunday, June 16, 2019

How to be A FATHER


 
Hobbes is still trying to come to grips 
with finding out 
about his furry brothers
 and fatherhood


1) LIONS

You may already know that a male lion that recently became head of his pride 

will usually kill all the cubs sired by the previous leader.

My own step-father tried to kill me twice jealous of the love my mother had for me so I can emphasize.

 Once the mama brings home her kill, the male lion is always the first one to eat.

 If it’s a rough hunting season, an alpha lion will let his wives and children starve first.




2) GRIZZLY BEARS 

Hibbs is not much happier finding out about Grizzly fathers!

It’s rare for any animal-kingdom father to eat his own young when he isn’t desperate for food, 

but the male grizzly bear will do just that. 

That means mama bears have to be extra good parents, 

not only making sure to feed their cubs and teach them how to survive on their own, 

but also ensuring their youngsters never happen to stray into their daddy’s bachelor pad.

My own mother tried her best with my biological father, 

but even so he tricked my babysitter into trusting me to him ...

And he abandoned me on the roughest street in Detroit.


STILL ...

It is not like they train boys how to be good fathers in high school.

And with so many absentee and abusing fathers in our culture, 

it is no wonder that young boys have a fragmented idea of what it means to be a father. 



SANDRA IS MY WIREMAN --


 Sandra's mantra to young girls is:

"Once you become a parent, the days of thinking just for yourself are over."


In Stephen King's DUMA KEY, the hero continually wrote:

Wireman always says ...   

Wireman's motto is ...   

Wireman laughs that ...

SPOILER ALERT! 

It is not until the end of King's novel that you find out that Wireman died before the hero recounts the adventure.

But Wireman became such an integral part of the hero's new life that his friend always stays in the present of the hero's thoughts.

So Sandra stays in the present of my thinking of life.



WHY DO I MENTION THAT?

Fathers, both good and bad, are like that, too.

They never fade in the past.  

Their words, their actions are like mental Muzac continually playing in their children's minds.

Fathers may wash their hands of their children either physically or emotionally ...

but those children never stop feeling the touch or lack of touch from those fathers.



THE ME GENERATION

Every generation seems to become more and more focused on the self, doesn't it?

Is it any wonder that the grown children of those parents do not know how to be responsible in their own parenting?



PETER PAN Males

How many men in your world are boy-men --

unwilling to accept discipline or restraint, forever in search of pleasure?

They rationalize finding sexual pleasure while denying the consequences of that sex.



SITUATIONAL ETHICS

Perhaps that is why so many choose not to believe in God, for that would predicate living life according to concrete rules. 

Yet, our God is what we worship in our deeds ...

and seeking consequence-free pleasure seems to be the new God of today.


MINI-ESSAYS

It is said that the Age of the Essay is over.  Not so.

Our blog posts are truly mini-essays.

Michel de Montaigne's essays are both personal and urbane.

He neither wanted nor expected people beyond his circle of friends to be too interested.

In his preface, he echoes our thoughts when we write our own posts:

 Reader, you have here an honest book … 

in writing it, I have proposed to myself no other than a domestic and private end.

 I have had no consideration at all either to your service or to my glory … 

Thus, reader, I myself am the matter of my book: 

there’s no reason that you should employ your leisure upon so frivolous and vain a subject. 

 Therefore farewell.


WHY DO I MENTION MONTAIGNE?

In writing about fathers, I am not judging anyone or proclaiming my thoughts are the gold standard of life.  :-)

I am merely reflecting in prose on my own views, born from my own life experiences much like the father of the essay.

The great and glorious masterpiece of any life is to have lived with purpose and love.


WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS 
ON FATHERS?

4 comments:

  1. In these uncertain times, seems there are more father-less single parent homes devoid of Fathers.

    To many Father's and not enough Daddy's.
    It's too easy 2b a Father, and a Lifelong work 2b a Daddy who sacrifices himself over a lifetime for his wife and kids.

    Imho- many of the problems facing this nation today stem from, children growing up being fatherless. There is a lack of men willing to be the example for children to grow up, becoming pillars of society.

    Even when the father provides everything for his children, many children in this age go on to make their life long decisions devoid of the loving selfless examples of which they were taught.

    Too many fatherless children. Too many children who have forsaken the examples of a selfless loving father.

    "Behold for this is my son of which I am proud" ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Robert. When children are raised without a living example of what it means to be a man, they are forced guess AND they have no model to shape their own actions as a new father themselves. It is sad. :-(

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  2. Good post. Accurate observations. I've met some step-up dads lately that have proven that men can be there for their families. I wish more would figure it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those step-up Dads give hope for the next generation, Mary, right?

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