WHEN MOTHER'S DAY IS NOT HAPPY

 

Mother’s Day can be a miserable day.

Countless women and children mourn for a mother-child relationship that is not as it should be.

The Hallmark cards and commercials depict Mother’s Day as all smiles.

 But for many people, the celebration taps into pain and sorrow.

For mothers who lost children before childbirth, during, or after, the Day can be hollow and mocking. 

To those mothers if they have a world-view that includes an afterlife, 

the thought of an eventual reunion can bring some comfort.

Mother’s Day can be an opportunity to not only celebrate but to remember and comfort others. 

The day need not be happy to be important.

 To adults grieving the death of a mother, whether a few months ago or many years,

 ask them what was special about their mothers.

“What do you remember most? What lessons did she teach that remain in you?”

 To a mother whose child is across the globe fighting in a war: 

Pray for peace. Let her talk about her fears. Don’t try to take away her fear, just listen.

 An estimated 56 percent of all abusers -- physical, mental and sexual -- are women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The most common form is psychological. 

Neglect and emotional abuse are every bit as damaging as sexual abuse.

 Numerous studies have shown that maternal behaviors

 like constant criticism, withholding affection or humiliation can take a toll on children,

 adversely affecting their academic achievement, social growth and self-worth.

 Learning to move forward from a painful past is difficult, though not impossible.

And psychiatrists still don't understand why one sibling fares well psychologically and the other can be destroyed.

So if you had or have a loving relationship with your mother, treasure the blessing that so many others did not or do not have.