GYPSY, ghost cat VS ALIEN!

{Courtesy Dave Melvin}

 

“When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
― Gypsy, Ghost Cat

 

 

So there I was watching the rolling credits to ALIEN, thinking what a great human Ripley was for going back for her cat.

 

I was curled up in Food Guy's favorite chair.  He wasn't using it.  He was out on one of those blood runs of his.

 

Why do I still call him Food Guy when I can't eat?  He still puts out food for me to knock around the kitchen floor.

 

I coulda won the World Cup for America if they just accepted ghost cats.

 

I went cold as I heard hollow laughter.  Aw, mouse turds.  That DayStar Guy. 

 

Why couldn't he pick on someone his own size -- like the Statue of Liberty?

 

It came from the kitchen.  I padded all ninja-like to peek around the corner.  Aw, jeez.  An honest-to-acid blood Alien.

 

And it was drooling all over my food!

 

I charged it, hissing.  It hissed back.  I hissed louder, bucking my back to boot. 

 

"Lay off my food, Drool Lips!"

 

Its inner teeth shot out at me, and I dodged.

 

"Hey, no French Kissing on the first date!"

 

It lunged for me.  I twisted and ran into the front room.  It followed. 

 

I stopped in front of the mirror, spun around, and wiggled my rear in its face.

 

"Hey, Ugly!  I wear mine on the right end!"

 

Like I figured, the Alien darted for me.

 

I yelled out, "Elu, don't fail me now!!"

 

Elu? 

 

He lives in what he calls the Mirror World.  I saved his life once from the Sphinx of Thebes, and the Apache Shaman owes me.

 

I hoped he wouldn't welch on the debt.

 

Elu didn't. 

 

The alien slid right THROUGH the mirror.  I followed.  Maybe I could convince the Dildo-Headed Alien to be pals. 

 

Hey, it could happen!

 

{Courtesy Dave Melvin}

 

“Why isn’t the word “phonetically”

spelled with an “f”?”

 

―     Gypsy, Ghost Cat

WHY DO WE GO ON?

"Why do we go on?"

As Gypsy, my ghost cat, lapped from my tumbler of ice tea,

I sighed, "There is no certain promise of success.

Often we are mocked by those in our world.

Worse, sometimes we are endured or "forgiven our obsession" by those close to us."

Hemingway looked at me from across the table at Meilori's.

"Backbone," he rumbled.

"What?"

He downed the remainder of his rum. "Backbone, son. In yourself. In your work. That is the key to surviving this 'obsession' of ours."

He set his glass with a thump on the oak table. "Your own backbone is between you and your self-respect. I can't help you there."

He lit a cigar. "But with the backbone of your story or novel ...

The spine of your novel is what you follow on your character’s evolution from what he was to what he becomes. And the change must be big. Why would we follow a bump on a bumpkin’s life?

All good books have one thing in common. They are truer than real life. Why? In good books, anything that doesn’t contribute to the hero’s transformation is edited away.

So find your backbone. What big picture are you painting? Any brushstroke that doesn’t add to that picture, remove.

Ask 5 questions to find your backbone.

1) Who is your hero?

You’d be surprised how many bad novels wobble about in that department, not giving the reader a sure idea of who to root for.

2) What is the problem?

It has to be clear. It has to be primal. And it has to appear insurmountable.

3) How does the story begin and end?

There has to be a “before” and “after” feel to them. The end must be a ringing bell within the heart of the reader.

4) What is the spiritual problem of the hero?

The physical problem must symbolize the spiritual struggle within your hero.

5) What is your novel about?

What is your story’s theme. A young boy learns that true magic lies within. A man discovers lies only make problems; they do not solve them. You get the picture.

What are you waiting for? You want me to lead you to the computer and type the story for you? Writers write. Dreamers dream and die with their dreams."

He pointed the burning end of his cigar at me. "Die on your feet, friend. Die on your feet, your last breath spent living your dream, not pining for it."
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