So you can read my books

Thursday, December 26, 2013


I emptied my savings this morning and got Snowball the tests I was told Christmas Eve he needed.

He had, not one, but two fatal diseases: a feline form of AIDS and another disease which was just a string of letters to me when I heard it.

I was in South Cameron when the vet told me that thick yellow fluid was collecting around his lungs.  

With the two diseases hitting him at once, his body's systems were experiencing a major shutdown.

Poor Snowball would only have days no matter what treatment she gave him.

And those days would be filled with increasing agony,finally ending in him smothering to death.

I gave permission to end his misery.  

I cried on the way back to the blood center of course.  I am crying now in fact.

He purred the moment he spotted me and followed me around the apartment, rubbing my legs -- 

He loved laser-tag in the morning, and brushings in the evening.

and he was the only cat who would jump into my lap and lay there for hours, 

letting me pet him and scratch under his chin.

Another friend waiting for me beyond the Rainbow Bridge.


  1. I'm so sorry. It is always hard to lose a best friend like snowball. May you find comfort in your memories. Sending you a hug.

  2. LauraBookSnob:
    Thanks for the cyber-hug. Much appreciated.

  3. I am so sorry! Snowball was a beautiful cat.

    My cat, Rosie, is very old and I'm afraid she won't last another year. But she'll be with her brothers and sisters who all passed many years ago and she'll be with your Snowball. It's never easy to lose a beloved pet, and I am so sorry it had to happen now.


  4. Oh, Roland. Please accept my sympathies at losing your so new cat. We lost our last cat about 4 years ago (he was my buddy) I couldn't take him into the room for the shot to put him down (he had diabetes and it was getting worse even though we nursed him for 4 years with shots every day.

    There is no shame in crying for another spirit lost.

  5. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I got teary eyed reading about it. One of mine tested positive for FIV (kitty HIV) but so far we have only had to deal with constant upper respiratory infections. I know its only a matter of time before he begins to get sicker and sicker, and I dread the day when it will be more merciful to let him go.

  6. That's so sad. I'm so sorry. Just because he has four legs doesn't make it any easier to lose a friend.

  7. I'm really sorry, Roland. Our furry friends just don't live long enough. It's a hard decision to make. Hopefully he found Gypsy waiting for him.

  8. Chrys:
    I pray that Rosie surprises you by flourishing this year. Thanks for the note of compassion.

    I only had Snowball for 3 months, but the little loving fellow had wormed his way into my heart. Sigh.

    My prayers are with you and your little cat. May the dread day be far, far away!

    R Mac:

    J. E.:
    He was always happy to see me. He was loving and intelligent and a purr factory when I was around. Thanks for understanding.

    Yes, I like to think of Gypsy and Snowball together playing.

  9. sending out any thoughts or words that might levitate the pain... for now i have only i am so sad and sorry... hopes of the memories that make this difficult time better. our pets get us as only someone they love, non-judging... we are simply a good friend... all the best to you.

  10. So sorry, Roland I understand the pain losing a loved furry companion can bring. Snowball looked like a beautiful cat, Cyber hugs to you.

  11. So sorry for your loss Roland, and during the holidays this must be extra hard for you. I am sure Gypsy welcomed Snowball on the other side of that bridge and both will be happy in each other's company. It is a good thing that Snowball did not have to suffer, you did the right thing.

  12. Nothing fills the hole left by a departed friend. Praying for you during this difficult time, Roland. May you remember only the good times with Snowball.

  13. I am so sorry to read this. Brings memories of my cat Oscar who passed away over a year ago, I had to put him down too and it was awful. Sending you lots of love right now and remember you gave Snowball a life filled with love, no one can ask more.

  14. Very sorry to hear of your loss, Roland. My husband and I had to put down our dog, and it is a hard thing to do. You will have happy memories of a companion, and you were his life. He is in capable hands, as well you know.
    Time will heal your wounded heart.
    Many Blessings!

  15. I'm so so sorry. It's never easy but know that you're such a good parent.
    Thinking of you.

  16. Jeremy:
    You're right: unconditional love is hard to come by these days. Losing it hurts.

    Thanks for the cyber-hugs. Losing Snowball just re-awakens the hurt of losing Gypsy.

    Your card truly helped last night. I like to think you are right and Snowball and Gypsy are off playing and sharing gossip about me.

    Others are going through so much worse at this time of year I know. Thanks for the compassionate words. It helps.

    Very wise and kind words. Thanks. Losing Snowball just re-awakens the grief from losing Gypsy. So sorry that you lost Oscar. I know to speak of it hurts you -- thanks for caring.

    I really hate to hear you had to put down your dog. I had to do that with so many of mine. It gouges a deep wound in your heart. Thank you for caring.

    Your caring about my grief helps. Thank you.

  17. There are no words adequate at a time like this. My heart goes out to you, Roland. Loss is life's most difficult road. As Steinbeck wrote, "It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone."

    VR Barkowski

  18. It is never easy to lose a loved pet, a loyal companion. Hang in there and hold the memories close.

  19. VR:
    Steinbeck is one of my favorite writers (not his fiction but his non-fiction).

    Thanks for caring enough to hurt with me.

    Thank you for your compassionate words. They help.

  20. Dear Roland .. that is so so sad - I would be crying too .. and my eyes are filled with tears now for you both.

    Snowball will be happier and that is the best thing for her ...for you - I just feel for you .. devastating times.

    Animals mean so so much and are always in our hearts .. with blessings and a peaceful rest of the year and then an easier year ahead knowing you've done as much as you could for Snowball ..

    With thoughts - Hilary

  21. Hilary:
    Your loving words mean more right now than my words can say. Thank you, Roland

  22. Roland, I'm so sorry. Sending love and hugs your way.

    ~ Olivia

  23. Laura:
    Thank you so much.

    Needed the hug. Thanks.

  24. I'm so sorry to read this, Roland. It brought tears to my eyes just to read. I know how hard it is to have to make this decision and say goodbye to a beloved pet. I'm so sorry for your loss and sending hugs your way. I hope in time you find comfort in the fact that Snowball had a great life with you and in the end you did what was best for him and made sure he would not have any more suffering. Take care!

  25. Sounds like the perfect cat! So sorry for your loss.

  26. Oh Roland, I am so very sorry to hear this news. I somehow thought a miracle would happen and that Snowball would live another 8 lives.

    They take a little of our hearts with us when they die. But like you say, they shall be waiting for us beyond the Rainbow Bridge.

    In my thoughts. Big ((hug)) xx

  27. my heart is broken. the only thing holding it together is the comfort and companionship you gave him. i am more sorry than i can say.....

  28. Please accept my deepest condolences, Roland. That is just so incredibly sad on Christmas Eve. Hugs to you. And I know Gypsy was waiting for him.